Y R U Laffing


Born on 14th June 1945, in Johannesburg, South Africa, I came screaming into a world of great promise. I was the third male in a blissful upper middle-class family of five kids, my younger twin sisters completing the pentagon. I wasn't particularly crazy about school as I mostly liked to do my own thing that relied on a capacious imagination that took me to out of the way far-flung exciting places. University was an improvement I must admit, where I obtained my dental degree at the University of The Witwatersrand. A year long sojourn in London followed where the continuous rain forced me to return home for fear of developing 'water on the brain'. My father ran a very successful service station in the heart of the township of Soweto[it had the largest petrol sales on the African continent, mainly due to his manipulation of petrol coupons that were introduced to carry out petrol rationing during WWII] which allowed us to live in the exclusive suburb of Lower Houghton. Dad was unfortunately later ignominiously removed from his place of work when the colour of his skin finally got the better of him as Soweto was declared a non-white area. As a kid I experienced first hand the Soweto riots and the worst of the violence in the country during Nelson Mandela's incarceration on Robben Island where this great man had the most breath-taking Five Star view of Table Mountain, but alas only one star for accommodation. I based my first novel 'The Ancestor's Assassin', on these incredible events. While in practice in Johannesburg for 44 years hard labour without the chance of parole, I had the good fortune in the early 80's to work on the teeth of Israeli aeronautical scientists sent clandestinely to work on the manufacture of South Africa's military hardware. They informed me about their experiences during the Lebanon campaign and together with exhaustive research on my part into the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982[ Operation--Peace for Galilee], The Lavi fighterbomber's construction with U.S. Congressional funding and the workings of MOSSAD and the PLO, I wrote my second novel entitled 'The Lavi Connection'. My present novel, 'You're Biting My Fingers' is a humorous anthology of my years in dentistry.
I have been happily married to my one and only wife, Joyce, for 40years now. We have two extraordinary kids in Romy a practising psychologist(40yrs-old), and Ryan an accountant specialising in tax(37yrs-old). Romy and husband Michael have given us 3 glorious grand-kids in Daniel(10 years-old), Amy(7 years-old) and last but not least, the 'holy terror' named Adam(4 years-old). They live in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia and the highlight of our lives is our annual stay with them. I have been retired from dentistry for a year now without the slightest hint of boredom. My continual love for writing keeps me going with the same amount of enthusiasm I had as a youngster. it is my greatest wish to get all three books made into movies.

Smashwords Interview

Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
The first story I ever read --well I think it was the first story--let's say the first story that really had one hell of an impact on me was without doubt, John Steinbeck's, 'East of Eden'. No wonder it won him the Nobel Prize for Literature. I was in my early teens at the time and was going through that period in my life when I was philosophising about whether a person's nature was inherited through the genes or was the effect of one's environment. Cal,one of a twin in the story finds himself guilty of committing unsavoury acts the likes of which he knew would cause the people concerned a lot of pain and subsequent suffering. He viewed himself a clone of his mother who had chosen the life of a prostitute. She had drugged her husband on his wedding night and slept with the man's brother for no other reason other than she could. She had murdered her parents, poisoned the madam who owned the brothel she joined, to go on and blackmail the prominent clients of the town of Salinas before professing to her son Cal that he was ruthless like her. Cal purposely entices his unsuspecting praiseworthy brother Aron to meet his mother who until that time did not know existed. He took flight, the consequences of the meeting driving him into deep depression. The final scene of the book takes us to Adam Trask's death bed confronted by his son Cal and his late brother Aron's girlfriend once Aron fell on the killing fields of France during WWI. Also present is the ever-faithful maidservant who has always stood by Cal as she believed his good side which showed undeniably on the occasion when Adam squandered the family fortune on a poor business venture involving the refrigerated railroading of vegetables. Cal in the meantime had made a fortune in speculating on the sale of beans but is turned down when he offers the money to his father on the grounds that his father believes he earned the money dishonestly. Adam finally realizes that the maidservant's observation that Cal's misconduct was driven by being faced with continual distrust and hostility which had a detrimental effect on any lacks in his genetic makeup.
How do you approach cover design?
I approach cover design with common sense. What I mean is I make sure the contents of the story is prominently depicted on the cover. If the central theme of the story involves the Palestine Liberation Organization for example, I'd make damn sure the kaffiyeh with either black or red checks are displayed wrapped around the face of an individual and a slit for an opening shows through. One or two AK47's. The lettering must have a Middle Eastern look. Not too many items must be presented as this would cause confusion to the eye. In my novel 'The Ancestor's Assassin' which has as its main theme the Soweto riots of 1974, the part played by the KGB in the struggle, the CIA, the part played by the middle class black man in the struggle and the tribal black man. Once I removed the logo of the KGB, the logo of the CIA and left only a head and shoulders of a black individual whose left half of his face a tribal appearance with leopard skin bandanna and tribal scars, while the right shows the guy with one side of a trilby hat, sunglasses on the one side. Flames from a burning tyre and smoke--that's all. A romance involving the seduction of a young drop dead beautiful woman will show a female with erotic sex appeal taking up most of the cover as she exposes herself in clinging see-through silky gown. But a more sedate romance will only show the 'promise of romance' as the attractive business woman is attired in smart but not overly sexy attire. mid-calf skirt and suit with blouse showing beginnings of breast cleavage --great! As I'm only an unknown author the author lettering will not be too large as is the case of the best sellers. Bright striking colours are essential for a panoramic landscape or seascape while in certain instances black and white for a murder scene.
Read more of this interview.

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You're Biting My Fingers
Price: $7.99 USD. Words: 71,060. Language: English. Published: February 11, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire
"You're Biting My Fingers" deals with those thought -provoking details about dentistry you wanted to know about but were too afraid to ask. It takes you through unusual instances in the dental chair where I guarantee you will find yourself laughing out loud at the antics of those most amusing patients. By the end of the book you will phone your dentist and say: "I just phoned to say I love you!"

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