Chelsea Maloney


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Smashwords book reviews by Chelsea Maloney

  • The Unsuspecting Mage: The Morcyth Saga Book One on Feb. 26, 2011
    (no rating)
    I admit, I only ended up here because the ad for this eBook was so hilariously awful, I figured it had to be a joke. (Considering the "Morcyth Saga" looked like a cheap misspelling of the classic "Forsyte Saga," a series of books from which a number of TV mini-series have been made over the last hundred years.) It promised a "full length" fantasy eBook from a series with seven books "completed." (Do the quotation marks insinuate that the rest of the books are actually not done, or that they somehow skirt the definition of 'completed'...?) I could have just gone about my day, enjoying the schadenfreude from how patently terrible the opening pages were, until I saw the number of four- and five-star reviews. I don't know which of the author's friends or relatives wrote these, or who encouraged him to spend his life writing another six books, but the first eight-or-so pages were, frankly, embarrassing. ("James removes a six inch homemade hoagie from his sack and smiles." Did he measure it? Would we otherwise have assumed it was store-bought, having had his grandmother's "2nd-place" cooking skills already crammed down our gullets? Would it have taken that long to spell out the word 'second'?) Maybe it somehow evolved into Shakespeare after that, but I'll never find out. Unnecessary descriptors, awkward verbs,("The officer hands each of them a card bearing pertinent contact information," the second awkward use of 'bearing' in the first eight pages) lack of research, (look up 'amber alert' on Wikipedia before you issue one for one of your characters) poor choice of tenses, expository infodumps to spoon-feed us character information... I can't imagine why this was never published.