First and foremost, the story is well written. Unlike other e-books I have purchased, this story doesn't contain any glaring syntax or grammar errors, and the writer keeps the story pace moving at a good rate. Chapter one is especially well done, as an introduction to what the three mistresses seek.
The story suffers with the entire Mistress Sylvia scene; indeed, I almost quit reading at that point. Such treatment of a novice is inexcusable, and the three mistresses pass it off with no consequence to Mistress Sylvia - so much for the three mistresses deserving Bobby's trust. The story tagging should have mentioned male-on-male contact - I for one would not have purchased the story had I known what awaited under Mistress Sylvia's supposed control.
The narration could have used more empathy to Bobby's emotional feelings - at times the tone was rather clinical.
4 stars plus for the writing, with points off for the poor tagging and weak section.
Decently written, but the tagging is erroneous - there is no femdom in the story. The story lacks originality; another case where a man defines his reality and takes what he wants - closer to nonconsensual behavior or rape than anything else. Really, the scene in the bathroom with Joanna crying is supposed to instill any emotion except revulsion towards the narrator?
Too much focus on plot, and not nearly enough on character.
Solid story and plot, well executed for the most part; sufficient character development to keep the reader interested. The secondary storyline of Tom may or may not have been necessary, but it wasn't a distraction per se'. A solid read, and the author has ample room for a sequel if desired. The mistress makes mistakes, and suffers no consequence...judge that as one will.
The drugging of both Tommy and Barry is a concern, from a consent perspective - might include it in the tagging. While the resulting changes to Barry might be emotionally satisfying on one level, the action is criminal on another.
If this was anything but the usual masculine sadism fantasy, I would give it five stars. The writing is quite good, and the erotic tension between Carol and Mark is palpable. However, Carol's all-too-quick submission to Mark's humiliations after her first-day reluctance is rather unbelievable. The fantasy elements of the story are also in no way served by Mark's use of A-t-M to punish Carol the first time in the dungeon.
Quite a bit right, but fatally flawed...