~Spoilers my lie Ahead~
I loved the banter between the two lead characters. A lot. It was very well done. Dialogue is a strength of this writer. The writing overall was strong, and the details regarding the characters and their surroundings pleasantly surprising. The sex scene was good, could have been hotter, but I still enjoyed it. Especially the oral, and ass play. That was a nice touch. But when it came to the moneyshot I felt there wasn't enough of a buildup. That's what people look forward to. And for it to, just happen, wasn't good. It needs to POP, no pun intended. It was graphic but graphic with no buildup. Back to the oral sex. That bit in the story was by far the writers best. It was vividly written and enjoyable.
The ending was the best part. Not because it was finally over, but because it was clever as hell. Even if the sex scene was scorching hot, I still would have liked the ending better. It was a very nice touch.
The author shows promise. A lot of promise. So much so that I'll definitely read another of her stories in a second.
~Spoilers lay Ahead~
I don’t like being mean. But I have to say it… the ending was stupid and it pi$$ed me off. Yes, it’s erotica I know, but come on. To create two likable, even lovable characters only to kill them off in an ending that was unnecessary, was just bulls***. To kill a nice woman, and her loving partner, who were just trying to be something in the world didn’t make sense. At all.
There was also a few other problems that I found. One, Karen screams at one point during sex with the ghosts but Caleb didn’t hear her. That was before the chant that led to his death (thanks for that!) so he was still in the house and should have heard her scream as he had earlier in the story.
Also there were two tense errors.
(This time, the big one LAY down) It should have been LAID.
(Because when I woke up the sunlight HAS faded to) It should have been HAD.
Yes, I know it’s erotica, but these things have to be right as people are paying for it. This is the only reason I bring them up.
These tense errors didn’t hurt the story at all. I mean that. I would tell if you they did. You know, like I did with that fu***ng ending!
Now in saying that… everything else was golden. The cover is genius and the story was actually really really good. It had a romantic feel to it (thanks for that ending!) which was really nice. There was a good flow to it, and the sex was vividly written. I especially liked how the house made Karen and Caleb (again that f***ing ending!) f*** like they had never fu***d before.
The ghosts were brilliantly written. I enjoyed how they vanished like mist in the wind when they moved. How their co**$ looked like lit glass when it was ready to be touched. Cool stuff.
The story as a whole was delightfully creepy.
I especially enjoyed how Sally Henceforth described Amelia’s ghostly form crawling across the bed, how he described one ghosts co** solidifying in Karen’s throat. Both these instances were fantastic.
The double penetration was a nice touch as well. But my overall favorite aspect of the story was the ghosts c*m being ectoplasma. That was fu***ng genius.
All in all… 4 out of 5 Stars
It would have been 5 out 5 but that ending did irritate me.