The 3 Indispensible Rules for Taking Charge: A Reptilian Guide to Personal Finance and World Domination
on March 04, 2013
"Lately, we've just been sitting around a wheel giving it a spin. The wheel goes around and around and lands on the name of unknown, untalented, unpleasant, usually mildly deranged young ape. The "challenge" of this game is making those untalented wretches famous. No challenge left! A potted plant could become the next pop star. I'm so bored, I'm willing to do a jigsaw puzzle of a jigsaw puzzle."
When I first saw the cover of this book, I had to laugh -- I've read about Reptilian Conspiracy Theory before, but had never seen any parody of it. If you're not sure what Reptilian Conspiracy Theory is, do yourself a favour and Google it before you read this book. The YouTube videos are especially amusing.
The book is set up as a self-help book, written in the first person, by a "reptilian" who explains exactly what his people do, and how we can overcome their control and be "liberated." Well, as much as we "primitive hairy monkeys" can be. I was simultaneously disgusted by the reptilian "author's" narcissism, and yet intrigued with what he has to say, because I don't disagree that some apes - humans - really are small-minded, un-evolved creatures. His patronizing manner, along with just the right amount of snark made him an enjoyable narrator of this projected world of human subjugation. He wants to help us. He wants us to be pets, rather than food (except for the clergy!).
In the the most basic sense, the book is a comedic jab at how people live their lives without thinking for themselves. However, I was more than a little pleased to see that it was far deeper and scathing a mirror of society; a true satire, in the original sense of the term. It's this fact that drives me from "really liking" this book to absolutely "loving" it. It's intelligent. The psychology of it all is cleverly crafted, and seems genuinely sound at first glance.
"For the noble reptilian, only liberty is a viable end goal. Our cold blood motivates us to make our own choices, not to choose who to agree with or what to agree on, but to be the master of our own destiny. We control the future. We never submit. We only control."
The idea that anyone -- reptilian or human -- operates like this is disconcertingly believable because, in many ways, people do operate like reptilians. This guide has oddly thought-provoking ideas on liberty, and what it really means to be free, instead of what we've been told "free" is. At first, Donald Trump and other business psychopathic personalities come to mind, then I realized what it really reminded me of: Scientology. It might as well be a beginners' guide to starting a pseudo-religious, financial cult. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will!
I'd recommend this book to anyone who is interested in psychology, science fiction, or satire. Actually, I'd recommend it to anyone who likes to think, and enjoys a good laugh while doing so. It's rare to see something like this on the shelf these days!