Andrew G. Schneider


Andrew G. Schneider always wanted to be a wizard when he grew up; now he makes magic with words. In addition to his novels, he is the author/designer of the critically acclaimed RPG, Nocked! True Tales of Robin Hood. When not writing, he hunts the wild dust bunny and makes a mean pot of French onion soup. He lives in Washington, D.C., believes in unicorns, and is married to a wonderful woman who believes in him.

Smashwords Interview

When did you first start writing?
Serious writing? My father made me a dare: "You read so many books, why don't you try writing one." He's regretted that offhand comment ever since... (Addendum: My mother believes she actually made the above comment, and declares she "is never wrong". One for the books, folks.)
What motivated you to become an indie author?
Consistent rejection and praise. Agents weren't interested in my novels, even as I earned excellent reviews from friends and family I could trust to be critical. As my wife said: "I wouldn't marry you if I thought you were self-delusional."
Read more of this interview.


Tales from a Coffee Shop Princess
200 years ago, the invention of the camera allowed fairy folk to be trapped, packaged, and sold as bottled creativity. Folk quickly abandoned their magic castles and secret lairs for cities, hoping to blend into the mass of humanity without losing who they are, what makes them special. Today, relations between mortals and Folk have settled into a delicate detente of hide and seek, catch as catch can. Authors grow fat from Folk labor, and refuge becomes harder to find as technology nibbles at the edges of the world’s mystery. It is a status quo that will end with the disappearance of dreams, when the last Folk vanishes in a flash. That is, until Sleeping Beauty ends up on the wrong side of an empty camera, and everything begins to change.


Waiting for my Happily Ever After
Series: Tales from a Coffee Shop Princess, Volume 1. Price: $5.99 USD. Words: 61,580. Language: English. Published: November 12, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Urban, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fairy Tales
Eight-hundred years of ever after, and the immortal princess Sleeping Beauty needs a wake-up call. She’s stuck in a dead-end job slinging lattes at a local café, her relationship with Prince Charming is in a rut, and a good time means a free coffee and a cigarette. That is, until an accident between Beauty, an empty camera, and a too-pink hubcap margarita changes everything.
Nothing Left to Wish For
Price: $5.99 USD. Words: 122,800. Language: American English. Published: February 1, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Young adult or teen » Science Fiction, Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
A sandpunk story of high adventure! Sky pirates, space mummies, and a swashbuckling adventure you'll never forget! Esme, a sky pirate, sets out across the Endless Desert on a high-stakes voyage of unexpected self-discovery after she befriends Prince Sasha and his genie, Sting.
Undercaffeinated and Overexposed
Series: Tales from a Coffee Shop Princess, Volume 2. Price: $5.99 USD. Words: 86,780. Language: American English. Published: February 1, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fairy Tales, Fiction » Fantasy » Urban
The immortal Sleeping Beauty, still a teenager at heart, struggles to redefine herself; her relationship with Prince Charming; and her expectations of “happily ever after” amidst the hustle and bustle of modern Washington, D.C.