Location: United States
Member Since:
Aug. 25, 2016
Ben Tyau
Biography
Dear Reader,
Some people may get the wrong impression about the purpose of this book. This is understandable considering the sensitive nature of subject matter. Within the first day of launching my first edition e-book, I received negative comments from some who have not read my story and who have literally judged the book by its cover. Some of these comments are hateful, slanderous, and unfounded, yet others are valid and warrant discussion. I have chosen to address a few such valid points: A sex offender shouldn’t be able to profit from his crimes! What about the victims and the people he’s hurt?
First of all, this is not a book that is written to glorify or promote violence or sexual abuse. In fact, the opposite is true. Its purpose is to educate the reader about the devastating impact of un-checked sexual sin on the victims it creates; the harm it causes family, friends, and the community of both the offender and the victims; and natural consequences that will inevitably follow such abuse. Moreover, it is written to give hope to those who have already fallen to sexual sin and are now living with the consequences. The majority of these men (and women) live in shame and despair, which only perpetuates their addictions and keeps them stuck. This shame and isolation actually places them in at a higher risk for relapse and makes them more dangerous to the public. They (we) all need to know that there is a living God who can and will forgive all sin—a God who is in the business of restoration and reintegration. My prayer is that those people who need to hear this story will hear it and begin their journey to through recovery.
I have a question for those who are critical or cautious of this ministry: For the offenders who haven’t been exposed yet (this could be your neighbor, co-worker, the man sitting next to you at church, or even your little brother or son)—who will reach them before they offend? Who will tell them the truth about the life-long consequences that come from not addressing their sin before it grows into abuse? Who will teach them about recovery and accountability? Who will instruct them to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions? Who will reach out to them? Or how about those who have been warehoused in prison for several years and have received no treatment of any kind for their addictions? Do you really want them walking around your community without any support or education when they get out? Wouldn’t you agree that someone has to help these people? Well, that has become my goal in life. That is the idea behind Fishmarked Ministries and Fishmarked Books.
The other concern is financial. What will happen to the profits from this book? A portion of the proceeds will go to my local church and the majority will fund a ministry to “lepers.” This will include offering life coaching, mentoring, education, and resources for men and women transitioning back into society from prison. And, yes, I will also use a portion of the proceeds to pay my bills and support my family and children. As many people are aware, there is no amount of monetary restitution that can erase the effects of abuse on an abuse survivor. The only true restitution we offenders can offer is in the form of taking responsibility for our wrong actions, changing the way we think and act, and reaching out to others and encouraging them to do the same. In essence, all we can do is make our community safer by reaching one person at a time.
Finally, I am compelled to explain why I must share openly like I do in this book; the purpose is twofold. First, it is important for me to take responsibility for the harm I have caused so many people while I was acting out and offending, without minimizing my actions. What I did was terrible and inexcusable. Those whom I have hurt deserve this admission. Secondly, I have found that transparency breeds transparency. On several occasions, I have shared my testimony with others. It is always terrifying for me because I fear rejection and judgment, but I do it anyway. Surprisingly, I find that the people who hear my story often begin to come out of their denial and desire to share their own struggles. This is the beginning of change. And I’m not just talking about sex addicts; I’m talking about everyone. Many people who have never committed a sex crime or done anything deserving of prison time can see themselves in this story. I challenge you to do the same.
I leave you with the story of the demonized man from the gospel of Mark. There once was a man who was sane but eventually lost his mind. He used to have friends and family and a home, but overtime, probably through habitual sin and poor choices, he opened himself up to more and more demonic influence, until he had completely lost control of his life. In fact, he was so tormented and that he could no longer be around those he loved. He left home and found himself dwelling in dark places and committing self-harming behaviors. The Bible said that no one could bind this man and that he ran around without clothes crying out day and night. I imagine that those who knew him referred to him as the “crazy, naked guy.”
At some point, Jesus appeared to this man. And after one brief encounter with Christ, the crazy, naked man was completely freed of his demons and restored to his right mind. He, in response to this meeting with Jesus, immediately wanted to follow Christ and his disciples, but Jesus told him no. Instead, He directed the man to go back home to his friends and family and to tell them the wonderful things the Lord had done for him. In other words, this man’s whole ministry would be to share his testimony—the story of how Christ had set him free and restored him to sanity.
And when people saw him clothed and in his right mind, they were scared. He was evidence that God was real and that He loved the unlovable and undeserving. Certainly, many were hesitant to accept the change and still referred to him as the crazy, naked guy. But that didn’t matter. It wasn’t a ministry for everyone; it was a ministry for those who needed grace.
I imagine that as that man shared his testimony, he did not minimize his past behaviors. In fact, the more open he was about how far he had fallen and how crazy he’d become, the more glory God received for restoring him to sanity and wholeness.
So, please know that I never wrote this book trying to excuse my behaviors or minimize the harm I caused others. I wrote it to take responsibility for my actions and give God the glory for the healing He has freely given me when I certainly did not deserve it.
God bless you as you read!
Ben Tyau
A.K.A. “The Crazy, Naked Guy”
Some people may get the wrong impression about the purpose of this book. This is understandable considering the sensitive nature of subject matter. Within the first day of launching my first edition e-book, I received negative comments from some who have not read my story and who have literally judged the book by its cover. Some of these comments are hateful, slanderous, and unfounded, yet others are valid and warrant discussion. I have chosen to address a few such valid points: A sex offender shouldn’t be able to profit from his crimes! What about the victims and the people he’s hurt?
First of all, this is not a book that is written to glorify or promote violence or sexual abuse. In fact, the opposite is true. Its purpose is to educate the reader about the devastating impact of un-checked sexual sin on the victims it creates; the harm it causes family, friends, and the community of both the offender and the victims; and natural consequences that will inevitably follow such abuse. Moreover, it is written to give hope to those who have already fallen to sexual sin and are now living with the consequences. The majority of these men (and women) live in shame and despair, which only perpetuates their addictions and keeps them stuck. This shame and isolation actually places them in at a higher risk for relapse and makes them more dangerous to the public. They (we) all need to know that there is a living God who can and will forgive all sin—a God who is in the business of restoration and reintegration. My prayer is that those people who need to hear this story will hear it and begin their journey to through recovery.
I have a question for those who are critical or cautious of this ministry: For the offenders who haven’t been exposed yet (this could be your neighbor, co-worker, the man sitting next to you at church, or even your little brother or son)—who will reach them before they offend? Who will tell them the truth about the life-long consequences that come from not addressing their sin before it grows into abuse? Who will teach them about recovery and accountability? Who will instruct them to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions? Who will reach out to them? Or how about those who have been warehoused in prison for several years and have received no treatment of any kind for their addictions? Do you really want them walking around your community without any support or education when they get out? Wouldn’t you agree that someone has to help these people? Well, that has become my goal in life. That is the idea behind Fishmarked Ministries and Fishmarked Books.
The other concern is financial. What will happen to the profits from this book? A portion of the proceeds will go to my local church and the majority will fund a ministry to “lepers.” This will include offering life coaching, mentoring, education, and resources for men and women transitioning back into society from prison. And, yes, I will also use a portion of the proceeds to pay my bills and support my family and children. As many people are aware, there is no amount of monetary restitution that can erase the effects of abuse on an abuse survivor. The only true restitution we offenders can offer is in the form of taking responsibility for our wrong actions, changing the way we think and act, and reaching out to others and encouraging them to do the same. In essence, all we can do is make our community safer by reaching one person at a time.
Finally, I am compelled to explain why I must share openly like I do in this book; the purpose is twofold. First, it is important for me to take responsibility for the harm I have caused so many people while I was acting out and offending, without minimizing my actions. What I did was terrible and inexcusable. Those whom I have hurt deserve this admission. Secondly, I have found that transparency breeds transparency. On several occasions, I have shared my testimony with others. It is always terrifying for me because I fear rejection and judgment, but I do it anyway. Surprisingly, I find that the people who hear my story often begin to come out of their denial and desire to share their own struggles. This is the beginning of change. And I’m not just talking about sex addicts; I’m talking about everyone. Many people who have never committed a sex crime or done anything deserving of prison time can see themselves in this story. I challenge you to do the same.
I leave you with the story of the demonized man from the gospel of Mark. There once was a man who was sane but eventually lost his mind. He used to have friends and family and a home, but overtime, probably through habitual sin and poor choices, he opened himself up to more and more demonic influence, until he had completely lost control of his life. In fact, he was so tormented and that he could no longer be around those he loved. He left home and found himself dwelling in dark places and committing self-harming behaviors. The Bible said that no one could bind this man and that he ran around without clothes crying out day and night. I imagine that those who knew him referred to him as the “crazy, naked guy.”
At some point, Jesus appeared to this man. And after one brief encounter with Christ, the crazy, naked man was completely freed of his demons and restored to his right mind. He, in response to this meeting with Jesus, immediately wanted to follow Christ and his disciples, but Jesus told him no. Instead, He directed the man to go back home to his friends and family and to tell them the wonderful things the Lord had done for him. In other words, this man’s whole ministry would be to share his testimony—the story of how Christ had set him free and restored him to sanity.
And when people saw him clothed and in his right mind, they were scared. He was evidence that God was real and that He loved the unlovable and undeserving. Certainly, many were hesitant to accept the change and still referred to him as the crazy, naked guy. But that didn’t matter. It wasn’t a ministry for everyone; it was a ministry for those who needed grace.
I imagine that as that man shared his testimony, he did not minimize his past behaviors. In fact, the more open he was about how far he had fallen and how crazy he’d become, the more glory God received for restoring him to sanity and wholeness.
So, please know that I never wrote this book trying to excuse my behaviors or minimize the harm I caused others. I wrote it to take responsibility for my actions and give God the glory for the healing He has freely given me when I certainly did not deserve it.
God bless you as you read!
Ben Tyau
A.K.A. “The Crazy, Naked Guy”
Where to find Ben Tyau online
Website: http://fishmarkedbooks.com
Facebook: Facebook profile
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjamin-tyau-927047122
Facebook: Facebook profile
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjamin-tyau-927047122