Billy Bob Buttons

Biography

WINNER OF THE 2014 UK PEOPLE'S BOOK PRIZE

Billy Bob Buttons is from Earth, the third planet from the sun in a small galaxy called the Milky Way. Subsequently, he is called 'Earthling'. He is 'normal' in many ways - for example, he enjoys chocolate. Note, any earthling suspected of not liking chocolate cannot be trusted and must be exterminated.

Having observed this human from our ship, the following has been noted: He is 14,235 earth days old and plays a sport called 'tennis' a lot, in which he hits a fuzzy green ball over a net and shouts, 'Love 15'. Note, who are the 15? And why is he in love with them? He is also very popular and has 7,745,121 friends. They all live together in a place called 'London'.

He has two matching baby earthlings called, 'No! No! Stop chewing on that electric cable!' and, 'There's no way she needs a nappy change! Is there?!' He also has a mate called 'Sorry, Darling' who seems vastly more intelligent and is the ruler of the dwelling. Finally, he spends lots of earth hours thumping two fingers on the keys of a primitive computer.

To conclude, the specimen must be kidnapped, probed and tested.

Smashwords Interview

Where do you get all the ideas from?
My best ideas always seem to pop up when I’m in the car chatting to my wife or walking in the middle of a forest, so I always keep a scrap of paper and a pen in my pocket. If I try to think of a name for a character or a magical land when I’m sitting in front of the computer, I usually end up twiddling my thumbs.
What is the most difficult part of writing a set of novels?
To keep going! When there’s a hundred normal, boring jobs to do and writing is the last thing on the list. Then, when you finally get to it, it’s almost midnight and you feel exhausted.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Billy Bob Buttons online


Where to buy in print


Books

TOR Wolf Rising, Book Two of the TOR Trilogy
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 35,940. Language: British English. Published: January 9, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Young adult or teen » Adventure, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
My body is not the body I had before I travelled to China. Teeth now crowd my jaw, I can spot deer in the woods from half a mile away, and to me, the tiny feet of mice no longer patter, they boom like trampling elephants. I am changing. A volcano of fury is stirring, trapped only by the thinnest crust of skin and willpower. The spirit of the hamrammr is in my blood... EVIL BECKONS
I Think I Murdered Miss
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 24,200. Language: British English. Published: January 9, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy, Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction
My name is Simon Spittle and I think - no, I know, I murdered Miss Belcher. I don't carry a gun. Or a knife. Or even a toothpick, but yesterday, in French, I wished for her to be run over by a bus and, later that very day, she was. A big, red double-decker with yellow wheels and a picture of a clown on the bonnet. A Billy Smart's Circus bus. 'Superb! A laugh-out-loud gem - with a twist.' Bookworm
TOR Assassin Hunter
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 42,830. Language: British English. Published: January 2, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Young adult or teen » Thriller and Suspense, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Mystery & Detective
TOR ASSASSIN HUNTER is the first book in the TOR TRILOGY, the turbulent story of a Swedish mercenary infested by the spirit of Skufsi Tennur, the most sinister, most unholy werewolf of the Hamrammr tribe. `So many twists, I felt dizzy.' Bookworm 'Dan Brown for kids.' Bookblast
Felicity Brady and the Wizard's Bookshop BOOK FIVE CROWL'S CREEPERS
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 38,440. Language: English. Published: January 13, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fairy tales & fables, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
BOOK FIVE 'The Wishing Shelf is not just a magic bookshop, and it is not just the doorway to hundreds of enchanted lands; it is, most importantly, the prison for the most powerful and dangerous book ever penned.' Galibrath Falafel, Wizard
Felicity Brady and the Wizard's Bookshop BOOK FOUR GLUMWEEDY'S DEVIL
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 44,740. Language: English. Published: January 13, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fairy tales & fables, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
BOOK FOUR 'The Wishing Shelf is not just a magic bookshop, and it is not just the doorway to hundreds of enchanted lands; it is, most importantly, the prison for the most powerful and dangerous book ever penned.' Galibrath Falafel, Wizard
Felicity Brady and the Wizard's Bookshop BOOK THREE INCANTUS GOTHMOG
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 51,740. Language: British English. Published: January 13, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
'The best Felicity Brady book yet.' Books4kidz 'The Wishing Shelf is not just a magic bookshop, and it is not just the doorway to hundreds of enchanted lands; it is, most importantly, the prison for the most powerful and dangerous book ever penned.' Galibrath Falafel, Wizard
Felicity Brady and the Wizard's Bookshop BOOK TWO ARTICULUS QUEST
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 56,420. Language: British English. Published: January 13, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
BOOK TWO 'The Wishing Shelf is not just a magic bookshop, and it is not just the doorway to hundreds of magical lands; it is, most importantly, the prison to the most powerful and dangerous book ever penned.' Galibrath Falafel, Wizard
Felicity Brady and the Wizard's Bookshop BOOK ONE GALIBRATH'S WILL
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 63,400. Language: British English. Published: January 13, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Fantasy
'Charming! Made me wish I was young so I could find a magic bookshop of my own.' Kid's Bookshelf 'A fantastic adventure.' Teen.com 'Spellbinding!' Kicks4kidz "The Wishing Shelf is not just a magic bookshop, and it is not just the doorway to hundreds of magical lands; it is, most importantly, the prison to the most powerful and dangerous book ever penned." Galibrath Falafel, Wizard
The Gullfoss Legends
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 18,640. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2010. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fairy tales & fables, Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction
The British plan to put a dam on Gullfoss, a magnificent waterfall in Iceland, but Sigríður plans to stop them. Setting off to see the King, she must face scalding pools of hot mud, a scary wolf-man and the most evil of assassins, the ruthless Scarecrow, who must stop her at all costs. Based on the Gullfoss Legends, this is a story for anybody who has battled but refused to give up.

Billy Bob Buttons' tag cloud

adventure    anthology    assassins    battle    charms    china    comedy    demons    detective    dorfmorons    dragons    drama    enchanted lands    epic fantasy    fantasy    flying carpets    funny    geysir    gullfoss    hags    harry potter    iceland    imps    legend    magic    magic books    monsters    murder    mystery    mystery suspense    narnia    ninja    paranormal romance    reykjavik    shubablybubs    sigridur    sorcery    spells    suspense    swords    thriller    tomasdottir    travel    trolls    vampires    wands    war    waterfall    werewolf    witch    wizard    wizards    wolfman    young adult