Location: United States
Member Since: Aug. 16, 2010

Sign in to subscribe to email alerts for Carla René

Carla René

Biography

I am a professional stand-up comedienne, stage/tv/film actor and published author, but am now back in University, pursuing double-doctorates in Astrophysics and Applied Mathematics.

I write stuff. Some people think I'm funny.

I am on an eternal mission to prove to my parents that they should've used birth control.

I have three unruly, whiny, maniacal, co-dependent and I-swear-they-drop-acid-behind-my-back cats who treat me as if I'm the hired help.

I want to meet the guy who designed the little plastic thingy inside women's wallets so I can smoosh his head into one.

I ask for so little.

Where to find Carla René online

Website: http://www.facebook.com/glittercatstudios
Twitter: @carlarenecomedy
Facebook: Facebook profile
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/carla-rene/15/986/65
Blog: http://glittercatstudios.tumblr.com

Videos

A Most Devout Coward
When life-long Atheist and social anxiety sufferer Jack Ryan O'Hanlan witnesses a mob hit in a Manhattan diner and is forced to enter WITSEC as a Priest, he's certain his life can't get any worse. Oh, isn't life a kick in the crotch.

Books

To Keep Away The Chill (and other victorian stories) by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 18,840. Language: English. Published: April 30, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Historical » General
A collection that ranges from ghosts on the open plains in the US, to High-Society London and back to mid-Western America, all during Queen Victoria's reign. Some are based on true stories and some are the way I wish things were, without all the rules and class distinctions.
Bitch by
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 740. Language: English. Published: February 17, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » General
Ever wish your obnoxious neighbours would just die already? In this flash fiction, watch as the old lady upstairs gets her delicious revenge.
Blood Alley by
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,330. Language: English. Published: February 17, 2011 . Categories: Nonfiction » True Crime » Murder, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Historical
In 1949, the UK's most prolific serial killer was convinced he could get by with murder forever. No forensic evidence, no conviction. But he was wrong.
We All Need Traditions by
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 1,290. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Family, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Each year for Mother's Day, my mum would ask dad to buy her an azalea with beautiful pink buds. And each year, he would buy it for her. And then 6-hours later, would mow it over with the lawn mower. Why they never got hobbies, I'll never know. But you'll definitely recognise your own family in this all-out comedy.
A Sleep To Startle Us (A Christmas Tale of Charles Dickens) by
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,530. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Family, Fiction » Fantasy » Paranormal
After visiting the Field Lane ragged school in Saffron Hill, Charles Dickens is so despondent he decides to give up writing long before he pens his famous A Christmas Carol. Then one night while napping in his favourite armchair, his soon-to-be-written fictional ghost decides to visit and take him on a journey that not only changes his life, but inspires him to write his now-famous story.
Zen In the Art of Absurdity by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 16,550. Language: English. Published: August 18, 2010 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Bill can't get a writing space. While in Canada, Sam learns to "go convert" himself, mum and dad are playing hide the Azalea plant, Delores can't keep her father's arse covered, a pack of wild Kens are hurtling toward the atmosphere, and dad is sitting in his car picking his ears with his keys. Often compared to Sedaris (Mostly by herself), this collection will make you sick...with laughter.

Carla René's tag cloud

comedy    essays    fiction    humor    humor humour comedy satire shortstories family relationships holiday mothers day carla ren    humour    john george haigh acid vampire nonfiction fiction shortstory historical fiction author carle ren murder serial killers uk serial killers murder    occult ghost paranormal fiction shortstories charles dickens christmas holiday classics carla ren    shortstories    shortstory    victorian england shortstories fiction ghost paranormal occult steampunk bell witch tennessee ghost victorian fiction author carla rene    werewolf female werewolf author carla ren flash fiction shortstory horror robert w walker