Diane Henders

Biography

Before I started writing fiction, I had a checkered career: technical writer, computer geek, and interior designer. I’m good at two out of three of those. Fortunately, I had the sense to quit the one I sucked at (interior design).

When my mid-life crisis hit, I took up muay thai and started writing thrillers featuring a middle-aged female protagonist. (‘Walter Mitty’, you say? Nope, never heard of him.)

Writing and kicking the hell out of stuff seemed more productive than more typical mid-life-crisis activities like getting a divorce, buying a Harley Crossbones, and cruising across the country picking up men in sleazy bars; especially since it’s winter most months of the year here in Canada.

It’s much more comfortable to sit at my computer. And Harleys are expensive. Come to think of it, so are beer and gasoline.

Oh, and I still love my husband. There’s that. So I stuck with the writing.

(And, for the record, no, I’m not actually my protagonist, Aydan Kelly.)

Where to find Diane Henders online

Series

Never Say Spy
Never Say Spy
Price: Free!
The Spy Is Cast
Price: $4.99 USD.
Reach For The Spy
Price: $4.99 USD.
Tell Me No Spies
Price: $4.99 USD.
How Spy I Am
Price: $4.99 USD.
A Spy For A Spy
Price: $4.99 USD.
Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example
Collections of blog posts from author and humorist Diane Henders
Probably Inappropriate
Price: $2.99 USD.
Definitely Inappropriate
Price: $2.99 USD.
Totally Inappropriate
Price: $2.99 USD.
Completely Inappropriate
Price: $2.99 USD.
Unabashedly Inappropriate
Price: $2.99 USD.

Books

A Spy For Help
Series: Never Say Spy. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 121,710. Language: English. Published: May 27, 2020. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
Off-duty secret agent Aydan Kelly knows she shouldn’t interfere when her lover finally locates his long-lost sister, but she’s afraid Arnie’s too upset to stay on the right side of the law. As danger mounts, Aydan faces a terrible choice: Risk her career and freedom by turning a blind eye to a murder that saves Arnie's sister; or uphold the law, condemning Arnie to prison and his sister to death.
Friends In Spy Places
Series: Never Say Spy. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 132,030. Language: English. Published: March 27, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
Secret agent Aydan Kelly’s supposedly-dead mother Nora has resurfaced after thirty years, and the chain of command suspects her of treason. With Nora leaving in only a few days Aydan is ordered to solve the case before her mother escapes, or face imprisonment for dereliction of duty. When time runs out, Aydan must make an unthinkable choice: Sacrifice her friends or lose her freedom forever.
Once Burned, Twice Spy
Series: Never Say Spy. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 123,220. Language: English. Published: June 5, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
Escorting Canada’s top weapons developers to an international summit should be just another stressful day in the life of secret agent Aydan Kelly. But Aydan’s routine mission becomes a nightmare when she’s accused of an attack on the delegates and the theft of a classified weapon. As evidence mounts against her, Aydan’s own investigation suggests she might have unconsciously committed the crime.
Kiss and Say Good Spy
Series: Never Say Spy. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 116,780. Language: English. Published: August 1, 2017. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(5.00 from 1 review)
With a partner she can't trust, reluctant secret agent Aydan Kelly races against time to stop a terrorist attack. But when she discovers that her lover is embroiled in the case, she must decide: Will she sacrifice him to save hundreds of innocent lives?
Unabashedly Inappropriate
Series: Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 28,700. Language: Canadian English. Published: June 22, 2016. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire, Nonfiction » Comics (nonfictional)
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”). "Unabashedly Inappropriate” is the fifth volume of posts from her blog.
Completely Inappropriate
Series: Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 29,880. Language: English. Published: May 18, 2016. Categories: Nonfiction » Comics (nonfictional), Nonfiction » Comics (nonfictional)
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”). “Completely Inappropriate” is the fourth volume of posts from her blog at dianehenders.com.
The Spies That Bind
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 11. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 129,900. Language: Canadian English. Published: March 18, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
Secret agent Aydan Kelly is hoping to resume her peaceful life as a bookkeeper, until her director issues an ultimatum: Go undercover as an arms dealer or go to jail for life. But when Aydan realizes her co-worker’s son has been taken by a serial killer, she defies orders in an attempt to save the child. How much will she risk for a child who may already be dead?
Spy Away Home
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 10. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 120,920. Language: Canadian English. Published: September 4, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
Bookkeeper-turned-secret-agent Aydan Kelly has barely begun to relax after her last mission when a shotgun-wielding man kicks in the front door of her country home. If her suspicions are correct, the Department’s security has been breached and no one is safe. With the lives of her dearest friends at risk as well as her own, Aydan must stop her unknown enemy before the next attack succeeds.
Totally Inappropriate
Series: Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 28,320. Language: English. Published: January 19, 2015. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”). “Totally Inappropriate” is the third volume of posts from her blog at dianehenders.com.
Spy High
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 9. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 111,670. Language: English. Published: January 15, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
After four uneventful months spent guarding her boss’s eccentric hippie parents on an isolated raincoast commune, bookkeeper-turned-secret-agent Aydan Kelly is beginning to hope mildewed undies will be the only hazard she’ll face. But when she discovers the commune's deepest secret, she faces dozens of enemies who threaten the lives of all the innocent commune members as well as her own.
Spy Now, Pay Later
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 8. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 115,060. Language: English. Published: July 17, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
(5.00 from 1 review)
Railroaded into acting as a secret agent, Aydan Kelly only wants to return to her peaceful former existence. But when trusted co-workers go missing along with a deadly weapon prototype, she’s forced to take over the investigation to protect them from an agent with a personal vendetta.
Spy, Spy Away
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 7. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 119,160. Language: Canadian English. Published: December 3, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Spies & espionage
(5.00 from 1 review)
Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly knew pretending to be an experienced secret agent was a bad idea, but it was the only way to protect her lover. Now her lies have caught up to her in the worst possible way: everyone believes them.
Definitely Inappropriate
Series: Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 28,480. Language: English. Published: May 27, 2013. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”). “Definitely Inappropriate” is the second volume of posts from her blog at www.dianehenders.com.
A Spy For A Spy
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 6. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 102,650. Language: Canadian English. Published: April 2, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(4.50 from 2 reviews)
Aydan Kelly’s part-time job with a clandestine government organization just got a lot more complicated. Forced to lie to save her lover’s career, she tells the director she’s an experienced secret agent. He believes her… and assigns her to a mission. When Aydan realizes innocent lives are at stake, she tries to confess her deception, but it’s already too late.
Probably Inappropriate
Series: Inappropriate: Brain Pickings From A Bad Example. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 26,960. Language: English. Published: October 16, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire, Nonfiction » Comics (nonfictional)
Diane Henders is a Canadian humorist, computer geek, and ex-interior designer who deals with her mid-life crisis by lying through her teeth (referred to in polite society as “fiction writing”). “Probably Inappropriate” is a selection of posts from her blog.
How Spy I Am
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 5. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 117,720. Language: Canadian English. Published: August 27, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
In her work with a clandestine government agency, Aydan Kelly stumbles across a shadowy consortium of scientists whose members are selling classified information for personal profit. Aydan wants to report them, but if she rats on the scientists, her husband will die. If she doesn't, the consortium will kill her...
Tell Me No Spies
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 4. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 101,970. Language: English. Published: November 30, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
(5.00 from 1 review)
Aydan Kelly has reluctantly accepted her unwanted role as a part-time spy. It’s painful and dangerous, but she’s willing to make the sacrifice for the good of her country. Too bad her country doesn’t have the same honourable intentions.
Reach For The Spy
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 3. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 102,370. Language: English. Published: November 17, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
Middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly never wanted to moonlight as a spy, but she doesn’t have a choice. Working with computer networks in a secured building sounds safe, but it turns out the job’s a killer – literally.
The Spy Is Cast
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 2. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 103,730. Language: English. Published: October 28, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
When a clandestine government agency recruits middle-aged bookkeeper Aydan Kelly, she overcomes her fear and agrees to go undercover at a lavish gala affair. But the glamour of the mission fades fast when she finds herself astride a motorcycle, assigned to an all-male surveillance team.
Never Say Spy
Series: Never Say Spy, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 101,120. Language: English. Published: October 12, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Action & suspense
(4.70 from 10 reviews)
Despite her penchant for weapons and ripe language, Aydan Kelly’s resumé reads ‘bookkeeper’, not ‘badass’. She’s leaving the city to fulfill her dream of rural tranquillity when she gets carjacked by a man who shouldn’t exist. Pity her enemies. Because nobody’s tougher than a middle-aged woman who wants her dream back.

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