Dick Allan

Biography

Dick Allan is a pen name. I'm PG13; he's Adults Only. He's my alter ego. Whereas I'm a little shy and repressed, he most certainly is not. Whereas I tend to take things seriously, he does not. I have a bizarre sense of humour, and so does he. (Well we're both me so we're alike in many ways.). I grew up on fairy tales and sword and sorcery; he skewers the tropes of the genres and fills them with outlandish, explicit sexual situations. Welcome to his world. Enjoy.

Smashwords Interview

What are you working on next?
Despite some delays I am still working on Erectus and the Rogue Genie, a serial wherein Erectus and his friends, in order to save the kingdom, and perhaps the world, must get a dangerously powerful genie back into her bottle. Part 12, nearing the 3/4 mark, is coming soon. It involves Elemental sex. I also have more adventures planned for Jack the Giant Layer and I've done some work on California Witch, a sequel to California Genie, taking the story in a different direction than the Erectus version. My latest inspiration came from Ovid's Metamorphoses and it involves a statue. Then there's an older sf story called A Sexpack Of Orgasms".
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
Browsing Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, or Kobo. I search my favorite categories using different parameters. I follow recommendations and I trace back to people who have added me as favorites or written reviews of my stories. I appreciate free books but I'm willing to pay for good ones. There are enough quality books out there from indie authors to provide lifetimes of reading, and most are cheaper than the big name authors. I prefer to put money in the pocket of a struggling, talented writer as opposed to a millionaire.
Read more of this interview.

Books

The 69 Best 69 Jokes Volume 1
Price: Free! Words: 720. Language: English. Published: December 30, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
I admit I will need another volume to get sixty-nine 69 jokes, but these are the best. For adults only. Not for the squeamish or easily offended; for the rest of you, go ahead and enjoy.
Feeding Time At The Coven
Price: Free! Words: 3,820. Language: English. Published: April 7, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
(3520 words) Part 11 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. The rogue genie Elppin and her army of genies defeated the witches of the Phynsetta Coven and their army of genies. Trapped in the coven's caves they need new allies, but to contact them they need strong magic, and the witches' magic is powered by sex. Erectus and his friends rise to the occasion.
Erotica Bundle
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 30,440. Language: English. Published: March 3, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal
26,000 words 18+ Erotic fantasy and science fiction stories. How did the prince awaken the sleeping beauty? Where did Dave go every Friday night, and what did he do that he didn't want anybody to know about? Do genies still grant three wishes? Can a man wake up from cryogenic sleep with an erection? All these questions are answered in this economic bundle.
Genie War
Series: Rogue Genie. Price: Free! Words: 6,950. Language: English. Published: August 16, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
(6770 words) Part 10 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. The Phynsetta Coven, an ancient organization founded to combat genies, uses Erectus and his friends to help them raise an army of genies to combat the army of genies Elppin is raising.
Rogue Genie Bundle 2
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 18,560. Language: English. Published: July 14, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+ An aged witch comes out of the desert and confronts Erectus about his responsibility for letting the Genie Elppin out of her bottle. Together they gather Erectus's friends and rescue the Royal Wizard, Elrod the Magnificent, from Elppin's genies. Contains "The Witch Shehada Phynsetta”, “The Genie's Plan”, “The Witch In The Palace”, “The Genies On The Mountain”
The Phynsetta Coven
Series: Rogue Genie. Price: Free! Words: 7,470. Language: English. Published: June 14, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
(7100 words) Part 9 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+ The witch Shehada Phynsetta brings Erectus and his companions to her coven, which is dedicated to fighting genies. The witches have a device that will locate genies to help them in their fight against the rogue genie Elppin, but they need men to help activate it.
Rogue Genie (Bundle 1)
Series: Rogue Genie. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 23,100. Language: English. Published: February 16, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
Parts 1-4 of Rogue Genie: Erectus Meets A Genie; A Wizard And A Bottle; Not Another Genie; Erectus and the Widow's Niece Erotic sword & sorcery parody 18+. Erectus breaks the seal on an ancient bottle, releasing a mischievous genie, who treats him to a wild night but leaves him with a curse. When he learns that his friends have found a similar bottle he sees an opportunity to get rid of the curse.
Erectus And The Widow's Niece
Series: Rogue Genie. Price: Free! Words: 7,510. Language: English. Published: January 14, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(7200 words) Part 4 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. Separated from his friends, Erectus gets a cushy job overseeing some construction at the widow Phelopia's villa. An added perk are the secret, nightly visits from the widow's horny young niece Areola.
Jack The Giant Layer
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 21,990. Language: English. Published: December 18, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Historical, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(5.00)
(21600 words) An erotic fairy tale; 18+. Jack saves a knee-high fairy woman from two ruffians. She rewards him with a marvellous sexual experience and a magic ring that will, with certain restrictions, grant him wishes. After he falls afoul of the local sheriff he agrees to bring in three outlaws hiding in the forest, but there are a lot of things the sheriff didn't tell him about the outlaws.
Erectus Meets A Genie
Series: Rogue Genie, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 5,890. Language: English. Published: October 15, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Historical » Ancient
(5650 words) An Erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. Erectus is sent by king Fincter to the remote village of Elohttub to build a bridge over a ravine. Bored with the local night life, he wanders alone into the desert at dusk and finds an ancient bottle. When he breaks the seal and opens the bottle he releases a mischievous genie who takes him on a wild night of sexual escapades and misadventures.
Invisible In The King's Harem
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 7. Price: Free! Words: 4,690. Language: English. Published: September 19, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(An erotic Sword & Sorcery parody.) Erectus, employed as a spy by the Royal Wizard, Elrod the Magnificent, is made invisible and sent into the King's harem to deliver a message and a magic ring to Queen Javina, confined in an inner room. Can he make it through a room full of beautiful women unmolested? Will the Queen be receptive top his message?
Erectus And The Slave Woman
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 5. Price: Free! Words: 3,880. Language: English. Published: July 20, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody) During the days Erectus is in charge of the renovations at Princess Clitoria's villa. During the nights he plays with the princess in her private chambers. When she's gone for too long he must find other diversions. While he's looking through Clitoria's books of sexual positions the cleaning woman comes in.
In The Temple Of Erotia
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 5,380. Language: English. Published: April 5, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient, Fiction » Fantasy » Paranormal
(4.00)
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody) Erectus, new to the city of Titslegass, wants to get laid so his friend takes him to the priestess prostitutes at the Temple Of Erotia. Lured to the high end by the breasts of Sherryaire, he is interrupted by the jealous General Gennitol. He escapes naked into the street and runs into Princess Clitoria, who smuggles him into the palace to have her way with him.
Rude Awakening
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,900. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Sci-Fi Erotica
(4.67)
(4770 words) When Roger Sinclair found out he had an incurable disease he opted to go into cryogenic suspension until a cure could be found. When he woke up he learned that cryo-corpses are legally dead, so the rich bitch who bought the cryogenic facility he was frozen in now owns him to do with as she pleases. (Explicit sex, adults only.)
Dave's Blow Job
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,040. Language: English. Published: February 22, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Fantasy » Urban
(4.33)
(2800 words) (Warning: this story contains oral sex.) I always wondered why my friend Dave, who clearly wasn't gay, never hung out with the guys on Friday night, and he never had a girlfriend, nor seemed interested in getting one. One night my curiosity got the best of me so I followed him and spied on him. What I found out blew me away.
A Sleeping Beauty
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,950. Language: English. Published: February 9, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Medieval, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(4.50)
(2780 words) Prince Jack, as the youngest of a sizable Royal family, has little chance of marrying a worthwhile princess, so he sets out to awaken the legendary Sleeping Beauty. Kissing her doesn't work; something more is required. A slightly shorter version of this story first appeared in Swinging Times National Edition No. 240.
California Genie
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,720. Language: English. Published: January 30, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Fantasy » Contemporary
(4.00)
(4630 words) When Dick found an ancient bottle in the sand he broke the seal and let out a horny, mischievous genie who took him on a wild night of magical, sexual misadventures.
Getting It Up In Titslegass: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus Volume 1
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus. Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 66,190. Language: English. Published: December 30, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody.) (Contains all 15 adventures of Erectus) New to the city of Titslegass, capital of the Kingdom of Boobylon, Erectus makes friends, crosses a jealous General, gets intimate with a Princess, goes on a spying mission for the Royal Wizard, and ultimately saves the kingdom, all while having lots of sex in unusual circumstances and bizarre situations.

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Smashwords book reviews by Dick Allan

  • Madeline's Brooch - An Erotic Adventure on Feb. 25, 2015

    Fun, amusing, and very hot. Good writing, good story, and steaming sex.
  • Chicken and Waffles (Naughty Situations) on Feb. 26, 2015

    An okay story with competent writing and good, hot sex, and I absolutely love the punch line. A fun read. Highly recommended.
  • Like a Mystery Uncovered: Erotic Detective Stories on June 13, 2015

    While I really like the PI, paranormal, sex combo, and the stories were all good in all three aspects, I was disappointed with the very limited amount of heterosexual activity in the book.
  • Student Elf on Feb. 22, 2016

    Not quite as all-out perverted as "The Princess Is A Flthy Slut" but it's still loads of fun.
  • Hard Core on Feb. 22, 2016

    Extreme erotica in a film noir style, with plenty of humor thrown in. What a delicious recipe. I loved it. I want more.
  • The Ghost of Armory Peak on Feb. 23, 2016

    This is an excellent ghost story, with the added enticement of some hot sex, and some paranormal sex that is something other than hot, but remains compelling reading.
  • Wanted Undead or Alive on Feb. 27, 2016

    The sex in this book is hot, supernaturally hot. The narrator is a half-human bounty hunter on the trail of a powerful vampire, but with the proper preparation she is up to the task. This is the way I like my urban fantasy. I'm going back for more.