Donald Rump

Biography

When he's not writing about old, crusty farts, Donald Rump writes about actual farts--the stinkier the better. He is also an advocate of the No Fart Left Behind program and marriage equality for all gaseous entities great and small.

Mr. Rump lives in Southern Maryland with his pet fart Floofy.

(Note: Image licensed by DepositPhotos.com and © Matthew Britton.)

Where to find Donald Rump online


Books

Finding Floofy
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,420. Language: English. Published: January 26, 2014. Category: Fiction
When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Is his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 4,250 words in all.
The $500 Question
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,210. Language: English. Published: January 6, 2014. Category: Fiction
Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.
Going Dutch
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,900. Language: English. Published: December 21, 2013. Category: Fiction
Barnabus Prim has reached the end of his rope. Drowning in debt and married to an obnoxious wife who can't stand the sight of him, he decides to do the unthinkable. But finding a way to the afterlife proves much more difficult than he imagined. For mature audiences. Approximately 2,800 words.
The Chapped-Ass Critic
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,460. Language: English. Published: December 21, 2013. Category: Fiction
Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Approximately 2,300 words.
20 Common Questions About Farts
By Donald Rump
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 11,340. Language: English. Published: December 8, 2013. Category: Fiction
Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? And many, many more!
Bottling Farts
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,380. Language: English. Published: November 20, 2013. Category: Fiction
Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.
Four Stinky Stories (Volume 1)
By Donald Rump
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 11,050. Language: English. Published: November 17, 2013. Category: Fiction
Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump brings you four flatulent tales of love, betrayal and everyone's favorite green gas in one unforgettable volume. Intended for mature audiences. Approximately 11,000 words in all.
Marriage Stinks
By Donald Rump
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,700. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2013. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 1 review)
Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd heard it all until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in his lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it's one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries farts?

Donald Rump’s tag cloud

adult humor    author    bride    christmas    comedy    crazy    critic    death    demented comedy    disco    divorce    dmv    dutch oven    fart    fart fiction    fart humor    farts    fun    funny    gas    hilarious    humor    love    marriage    ridiculous    romance    smelly    stinky    suicide    toilet humor    wild    writing