College (Master's) student, avid fantasy reader who often makes foray's into science fiction and occasionally reads other forms of fiction/non-fiction.
This member has not published any books.
Smashwords book reviews by Philip Green
- Lux 1.1 Seeds
on Sep. 28, 2011
Awesome book, I just purchased lux 1.2, which is the first book I've purchased on smashwords. I'm not anything close to what you'd consider a "grammar natzi" but I noticed absolutely no problems. The story line went along really well, there were a couple of somewhat awkward transition scenes near the middle, but for a first time author it was great.
If your looking for something that makes absolute sense it has a few problems as noted by a previous reviewer. However, I'm a fantasy reader, so I'm imagining this as a future setting in which corruption has set in to the point that money pretty much means power.
- Lux 1.2 Call to Arms
on Oct. 18, 2011
Very good work, as Porretto noted, your work is good enough to deserve an editor. While I don't notice a lot of the grammatical mistakes, it could use some work.
Other then that, I think a little more backstory and detail could help the story out (Angine, how do children manage to get so much food and water to survive in sewers, building jumping seems a bit questionable as a form of travel for a bunch of untrained teanagers), it requires a suspension of disbelief now and then to make the story readable. But it is excellent work.
4 stars because I love it, but think it could be improved.