Jessica Barber


I am a 36 year old, moody, impatient Taurean woman. I have been diagnosed with more mental illnesses than I can remember, and my morning dose of medication is equivalent to a full English breakfast. I am a wife to one husband and mother of two gorgeous girls. My family is my life. I like things done my way, most of the time. My friends reckon I have an awesome sense of humour.

I love sarcasm and swearing. My excuse for my foul mouth is that I have no filter, and before my brain can register what my mouth is going to say, the word just slips off of my tongue. I end up being just as surprised by what I have said as everyone else is. I am honest to a point where some might say I am rude and/or blunt. I love exercising, keeping fit and eating food. My favourite colour is blue, I love tattoos, if my husband would allow me to, I would be covered in ink.

I believe in unicorns and the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (I am still waiting for my acceptance letter, just thinking that maybe the owl, who was supposed to deliver my letter, died en route to my home). I love the smell of coconut oil and vanilla pods. I really hate stupid people. I absolutely love Vicks Vapour Rub, I have a jar in every room in our house and one in my car. Vicks cures everything and anything! I enjoy writing, watching movies, reading and hiking. I am actually a fantastic, marvellously, well-rounded human being. I pity those who don't know me and therefore can't bask in my awesomeness.

That’s me in a bombshell.

Smashwords Interview

When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
When I am not writing I am either homeschooling my daughters, practicing Yoga, kickboxing, learning the art of Jiu Jitsu, or my head is stuck in my fridge contemplating my next snack.
What is your writing process?
I am usually trying to fall asleep when a story pops up and I have to write it down before I forget it.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Jessica Barber online

Twitter: @RealGutterQueen
Facebook: Facebook profile

Where to buy in print


Gutter Queen's Royal Rumble - Round Two
Price: $9.99 USD. Words: 81,390. Language: British English. Published: September 8, 2018. Categories: Nonfiction » Biography » Autobiographies & Memoirs
(5.00 from 1 review)
If you enjoying laughing at someone else’s expense, then this is the book for you. Join me on a tragically humorous adventure where I share stories of my life with you. From killing a baby pigeon by accident to pepper-spraying my husband’s genitals one rambunctious night. An honest account of my eclectically outrageous life so far. Not for the faint of heart - you have been warned.
Ramblings of a Gutter Queen
Price: $7.99 USD. Words: 74,240. Language: English (South African dialect). Published: August 24, 2017. Categories: Nonfiction » Biography » Autobiographies & Memoirs
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
A memoir from a crazy housewife. Funny, tragic, and gross stories, all true, written to make you laugh out loud and realise that no matter what life has dealt you, you can overcome anything as long as you have a sense of humour, understand sarcasm and don't mind the occasional swearword. Ramblings of a Gutter Queen is an honest book about my life's trials and tribulations. I hope you enjoy!!!

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