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Location: United States

Member Since: April 02, 2016

Frannie Cheska

Smashwords book reviews by Frannie Cheska

Letters to Laura on April 02, 2016

Okay, you know how when you get your heart-broken you have so much anger, hate, sadness, all pent up that you don't know what to do with it? Then 10 days later, 2 weeks later, 8 months later you think of all the things you could've...should've said, and the regret that you didn't say them holds you down. Then you sit there, staring at that dot on the ceiling and you have no choice but to contemplate all the horrible things you did say. Oh yeah, you know. We all do. In all honesty, I loved this. The author takes us through a journey that we've all been on, (or at least one that I've been on) but she took me all the way to an end I never thought I'd reach. There were at least two phrases per letter that I highlighted just because I want to come back to it. I could re-read those phrases over and over and they’d still bring me some kind of satisfaction. Sometimes it was the feeling that I am not alone in heartache "But today... I missed you. The kind of missing felt when someone has died and you know you'll never see them again, they're forever beyond your reach." My God, if that didn't hit me right in the gut. I remember one of the few times my heart was broken; I looked to my side while laughing at something, and they weren't there. Just like that quote, it was one of the ugliest feelings I'd ever had. The descriptions of when the pain was still fresh and so real, I felt it too. The author has a way with words, where I can relive certain moments with her, the details so embedded in my mind I am left thinking about them long after I've read about them. Then there are the other times, the times that aren't as bad and you start to realize that all the effort it's taken and all the pain you've been feeling is just not worth it; it's too exhausting. So exhausting you start to understand and accept that it just didn't work out. I commend this author for her strength and logic. There are certain places where the sadness and bitterness shine through the words. To me, it doesn't come off as nagging or whiny, but realistic. As a reader, I don't think I could believe it had she been only happy and understanding. I feel like the parts where she is most accusing and upset are my favorite. They are thought-out and mature, never immature or spontaneous. I wish I could've been this mature in my past. "You desired someone to hide with you. If I was being outspoken or opinionated or openly passionate, I was a threat to your well-constructed little hiding shelter." BAM!!!! How many times did I think about this?!? I'm telling you, it's like the author went into my heart and took out everything I wanted to say to that one person but either never knew how or never had the right words. It just got to me on so many levels. I will share some of my favorite lines just to give you an idea of how and why I loved this:  "I will no longer defend myself to anyone. I won't hide. I won't scream. I won't be ashamed... I just need to accept me." You go! Hear you roar!  "Unconditional love is not a challenge, it is not something you can earn." Can everyone share this with everyone? Please? Thanks.  "We are both open people with brave souls" Hell yes we are.  And "You're hiding even now. Behind the lies you tell about me ...behind a well- established hate campaign...." Why is this so familiar? and YASSSSS! Mmm, it hurts so good. I really like how this worked backwards. I don't know if that's what the author intended but I like that we got to know the author before we got to know how it all went down. For a second there I thought the ex messaged her back and said "oh hell no." Part of me is screaming "NO. NO! You were right! You shouldn't have known better, you're human! Forget her!" sigh. So many damn emotions right now. Without giving too much away, I have to say that the fact that it was only a relationship of four months makes me so sad. Okay, the fact that I said 'only' defeats my point! Because it’s not that it was such a short time. In fact, it proves that in even that short amount of time there was clearly so much pain and that so much of this person was fully invested in a relationship where she deserved better. It really makes me think of all of us and how we deserved better at one point. Now that I'm done, I don't even know what to say. I feel so much and I even feel a little bitter myself. Ha! Although this is not a self-help book, I kind of see it like that. In my opinion, that's not a bad thing, I LOVE THOSE. The reason I say this is because it did help me get over something I thought I had already gotten over. Crazy. Maybe this just forced me to go back to a place I didn't want to go back to...for obvious reasons. But I feel good about it now, and I am so happy with the way this ended, my favorite being "I saw you and I didn't die." Right?! Well, I highly recommend this to everyone who has been hurt, who thinks they are better, and everyone who enjoys ALL THE FEELS. I'll leave you with my favorite quote from this book: "Sincerely, A woman who is grateful that you broke her heart."