This is actually not such a bad story, if more than a little unoriginal.
The problem, and the reason it didn't feel right to give it more stars, is that it's in serious need of copy-editing. It's full of grammar errors, misused capitalisation, repeated words, and typos.
I hope the quality of Alan's work gets better, though, and I look forward to reading more.
This story was amazing! Right up my alley!
Tara humiliates her slave in public, he runs around naked, he fails to control his bladder, he meets her friend... and gets viciously punished for "embarrassing" her.
Can't wait to read more from this author!
I never thought I'd be into female-on-female, but this story was really arousing! I found the blasphemy a little distracting at times, though, since I get offended by such things.
The FFM scene at the end made me a little sad, because it was finally over and the narrator gets what she wanted, but isn't really sure it's what she wanted after all. The ending was a bit disappointing for me for other reasons as well, which I won't reveal for fear of giving away too much.