Donal O'Danachair


I am a shape-changing reptilian from Mars who has been infiltrated on to the third planet in order to prepare for the conquest of the planet by my race. I am following a systematic plan for reducing the will to resist of our human victims (or "persons of hair" as it is PC to call them). My weapons include:

- making the other queue move faster
- promoting the misuse of apostrophes, in particular " it's" used as meaning "belonging to it"
- the word "iconic" and other meaningless collections of letters such as "inspired by a traditional recipe", "up to 25%" , "vibrant hair". And many others. We invented these to destroy the connection between language and meaning so as to make communication impossible. Unable to communicate, the humans will be easy prey for us.
- junk food (of course)
- Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr.
- and lots of other things you won't find about until it's too late

After the conquest, all current and former Big Brother participants will be immediately executed; the laziest, ugliest and fattest video game players will be kept for breeding; and all other humans will be used for animal feed.

You have been warned!

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