Lamblake Heinz


Lamblake Heinz is a reclusive horror novelist born in a tent on the Gower Peninsular sometime in the 1940s. Known primarily for his standalone novels such as NOT ALL ZOMBIES EAT MEAT, DR FRANKENSTEIN STITCHED ME UP and RAT ON A HOT TIN COT, he also has written a trilogy of five books which have yet to see light of day as they are "only readable in the dark." (His own description).

Heinz is also famous for his eccentricity and aversion to prunes. He also has an unspecified problem with aardvarks. He is fond of saying, "Inside every thin man is a fat man crushed to death in an oubliette." In his youth he founded the British Society of Weird Fantasy in order to increase the number of awards he was eligible to win. He has won all of them since.

He has also written more than 900 stories that have been highly praised by such luminaries as Stephen Kong, James Sherbert and M. John Horrorson, who issued the following joint statement: "Lamblake Heinz writes of things beyond the ken of mortal man even more effectively than ken himself does."

Where to find Lamblake Heinz online


The Grin of the Doll Who Ate his Mother's Face in the Dark and Other Dreadful Tales
Price: Free! Words: 59,380. Language: English. Published: June 7, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
(4.33 from 3 reviews)
For the past fifty years, the legendary Lamblake Heinz has been astounding the world with his amazing tales of incredible horror! Readers have literally exploded when reading his work! At long last all his finest short-stories are available in a single volume! Dare you penetrate the portals of his darkness? Or are you a big scaredy cat?

Lamblake Heinz's tag cloud

black humour    comedy    fantasy    ghosts    horror    irony    monsters    parody    pastiche    satire    spoof    weird fantasy