Betsy is a 40-something writer and wanderer. When she’s not out hiking somewhere around the world with her husband Warren (a man of ridiculously good hair and hearty laugh), you can find her writing romance books for women over forty, reading books of every type, asking inappropriate questions, and drinking wine in an old house in an even older village in the hills of sunny Spain.
Betsy is the host of the Quickie Romance Podcast, where she gets steamy with imaginary characters for your listening pleasure every single week.
She also co-hosts The Married with Luggage Podcast with her husband Warren.
This woman has no shame.
She loves cava, sunshine, unconventional thinkers, and schedule-free days. She is an introvert, a feminist, and a loud laugher.
Her latest obsession is flamenco dancing.
Find out more about how (and why) she became a world traveler at 40
Find out how she got rid of everything she owned in 2010
Why did you write Strip Off Your Fear?
It was last year and I was writing a book about overcoming fear, and it was not going well. The words were not flowing, and the few that did make it through were – to put it bluntly – shit. After 30,000 nuggets of shit, I decided to call a halt to this project. I wasn’t fully into it, and the results showed. I just couldn’t get worked up about fear. Things were not happy at the House of Talbot because writing a book is why we settled down in Thailand in the first place.
Then things got real: my friend Donna was murdered by her ex-husband. And the political climate in the US became overtly anti-woman as the political races heated up. Some of my closest friends and family members were undergoing significant personal issues because of their inability to speak honestly and clearly in their relationships, businesses, and communities.
It finally dawned on me that fear wasn’t the problem because fear never leaves us. Conquer one fear and you’ll quickly find another – we all know that. The problem is really a lack of confidence, the inner fire that comes from living your authentic self, speaking your truth, and demanding respect from others, including yourself. Especially yourself. When you have this, you can face fear on a regular basis with a pretty good result.
You write about the Voices of Fear in our heads and even outline some of those personalities. Which one do you identify with most?
The Voices of Fear were really fun to write. It was the first time my inner Drama Queen has had full reign over my mind in many years, and she did not disappoint. Everyone has at least a few of these voices, though we tend to rely on a dominant one to rule our fears.
I'm definitely the Drama Queen, dreaming up scenarios worthy of an Oscar for every little thing. I've learned to temper it over time, even using it for entertainment now, but for many years it really ruled my life. Every headache was cancer, a missed call was the sign of trouble in a relationship, and an unreturned email meant I was going to be fired.
It's a tough way to live, and there is no booting those guys out of your head. But once you recognize them for what they are instead of what they want you to think they are, you can simply be a bystander to their activity and not a victim to their torment.
After a solid career as an economist working at the US Embassy in London, forty-two-year-old American Ivy Cross is ready to spice up her looming middle age with a new job and maybe a new love. Madrid-based tech superstar Ruben Alegre both infuriates and intoxicates her, and if he only lived closer she'd consider risking her heart. Ivy can't deny that her life is about to change in a very big way.
Successful landscape designer and single mother Rose Quinn races to Italy to save her 19-year-old daughter Rachel from making a huge mistake with an older man. When secrets are revealed on the shores of Lake Como, Rose faces her own lifelong misconceptions about love and the illusion of control, relying on her lifelong best friends the Late Bloomers to to see her through this transformation
Lily Lang has just discovered at the age of forty that she can't have it all. Her career with Doctors Without Borders is rewarding but consuming, and her recent divorce proves it.
Will a chance encounter on the roof just restore her faith in finding the yin to her yang? Handsome Simon certainly hopes so.
The author of Strip Off Your Fear: Slip Into Something More Confident returns with a collection of essays on confidence for busy women from her popular website, MarriedwithLuggage.com.
In her signature 'friend-to-friend' style, she tackles tough subjects with just the right blend of wisdom and humor.