Mike Nemiroff

I began my destiny as a writer of fine prose by teaching English Literature at Concordia University in Montreal, a task I always referred to as "teaching the principles of vegetarianism to Alligators." It was nonetheless preferable to my previous employment at Montreal's Hygrade Meats, as "Assistant to the Spicer." Despite the golden title, the Hygradean workweek sucked the Big Donkey Dong. This, fortunately, came to an end the day a friendly virus laid the Spicer abed, leaving the task of spicing a 2000- pound vat of Pimento Loaf, a meat-like substance fit only for those with robust colons. To save time, I abandoned the list of the recommended weights of spices and poured virtually the entire contents of the spice room into the protoplasmic vat.
Two hours later the foreman came to tell me that a) I was finished at Hygrade, and b) It was the first time in thirteen years that the Taster had thrown up..

It was a short step from the world of revolting pseudo-food to my fifteen years as a professional stand-up comedian. I can sum that career choice up by saying that I left the comedy business with the knowledge that I had made dozens of people laugh, several tics, and the belief that the moon is trying to kill me.

comedy    entertainment    fun    fun book    humor    slice of life