Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found the ebook equivalent of Ed Wood & Uve Boll! 1 star for the effort, and 1 star because Drac sounds like a pretty cool guy - see http://www.salon.com/2014/08/17/portrait_of_a_self_published_author_drac_von_stollers_invisible_literary_empire/
Good story, characters were nicely drawn, and some excellent descriptive language.
Tip: try to eliminate "began" wherever you can - e.g. instead of "His heart began racing again..." just write "his heart raced again".
Also, watch out for repetition: e.g. "As her eyes looked around the room, her eyes caught..."
Other than that, nice work!