Location: Canada
Member Since:
Sep. 28, 2010
Nicholas Lynn
Biography
My name is Nicholas Lynn and I lead the kind of life that will eventually land my picture hanging up in a post office or printed on a milk carton.
Now you don’t have to say it because I know what you’re thinking...
“Cool.”
And you’re right…
It is cool.
I’m 30 years old and have zero regrets. Not a penny I’ve misspent, not a Whiskey I’ve thrown up, not a drug I’ve inhaled or a (questionable) woman I’ve bedded.
Well…
Perhaps I regret a few (questionable) women…
But all in all, the money, the booze, the drugs and the (questionable) women make up the moments that carve out the chapters of my life, which is perfect because when everything is said and done, in the end, all I’ll be left with is my story.
There are no second chances.
This I’m certain of.
You’ll never remember things like getting up for work on time, paying off your credit card bill before VISA sent you the invoice or (if you’re unfortunate enough to be married) your wedding vows and the look in your spouses eyes when they said “I do."
Even though "they didn't."
But I can guarantee you’ll never forget the time you sexually experienced three partners in the same night at a casino after fourteen hours of power drinking, losing fifteen hundred dollars at a Black Jack table, getting told to stop cussing by The Keg’s manager and posing for a few nude photos in the shower as your buddies complained about the broad you brought back to the room or the night when you had unprotected, doggy style sex with a stranger in the back of a taxicab until you got to her place and tried for anal, only to be turned down and offered more regular sex, which you took but didn’t enjoy and woke up in the morning to burnt chicken fingers in the oven, an awkward goodbye and three weeks later a trip to the clinic for Chlamydia treatment.
Those occurrences you will never forget…
No matter how hard you try…
I promise.
So that being said it’s about time you start living your life.
It’s about time you start writing your book.
It’s about time you start PARTYING LIKE A ROCKSTAR.
And this is how…
Now you don’t have to say it because I know what you’re thinking...
“Cool.”
And you’re right…
It is cool.
I’m 30 years old and have zero regrets. Not a penny I’ve misspent, not a Whiskey I’ve thrown up, not a drug I’ve inhaled or a (questionable) woman I’ve bedded.
Well…
Perhaps I regret a few (questionable) women…
But all in all, the money, the booze, the drugs and the (questionable) women make up the moments that carve out the chapters of my life, which is perfect because when everything is said and done, in the end, all I’ll be left with is my story.
There are no second chances.
This I’m certain of.
You’ll never remember things like getting up for work on time, paying off your credit card bill before VISA sent you the invoice or (if you’re unfortunate enough to be married) your wedding vows and the look in your spouses eyes when they said “I do."
Even though "they didn't."
But I can guarantee you’ll never forget the time you sexually experienced three partners in the same night at a casino after fourteen hours of power drinking, losing fifteen hundred dollars at a Black Jack table, getting told to stop cussing by The Keg’s manager and posing for a few nude photos in the shower as your buddies complained about the broad you brought back to the room or the night when you had unprotected, doggy style sex with a stranger in the back of a taxicab until you got to her place and tried for anal, only to be turned down and offered more regular sex, which you took but didn’t enjoy and woke up in the morning to burnt chicken fingers in the oven, an awkward goodbye and three weeks later a trip to the clinic for Chlamydia treatment.
Those occurrences you will never forget…
No matter how hard you try…
I promise.
So that being said it’s about time you start living your life.
It’s about time you start writing your book.
It’s about time you start PARTYING LIKE A ROCKSTAR.
And this is how…
Where to find Nicholas Lynn online
Books
Party Like A Rockstar
by Nicholas Lynn
Price:
$0.99 USD.
Words: 87,160.
Language:
English.
Published: September 28, 2010
.
Categories:
Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
My name is Nicholas Lynn and I lead the kind of life that will eventually land my picture hanging up in a post office or printed on a milk carton.
Now you don’t have to say it because I know what you’re thinking...
“Cool.”
And you’re right…
It is cool.