Matt Payne writes Absurd Comedy, Surreal Horror, Psychedelic Mysteries, Sci-Fi Adventures, Stoner Lit, and Books for Freaks.
He's a writer, musician, programmer, pseudo-scientist, bee-whisperer, anarcho-sexbot, and wretched dork.
What is your e-reading device of choice?
I have a kobo.
Describe your desk
I have two wooden desks side by side. One is stacked with reference books, cacti, lamps, and some random clutter (coffee cup, incense). The other holds my keyboard and monitor, plus a shelf with books and electronic stuff (headphones, wires). Both desks are covered in little notebooks full of notes.
How do you find your way when every turn is wrought with terror and confusion?
How can you find a relationship with God and the economy?
Would you like to free yourself from the shackles of your own weakness?
Put behind your old life and step into the never-ending future with all my amazing books of TRANSFORMATION!!!
Assaulted by petty peers, his empire cannibalized from within, Julius Cinnamon must find out who seeks the destruction of his wondrous Agartha.
He has a lust for life and a plan that could change the world. His sense of loyalty is matched only by his capacity for revenge.
Jump into an unprecedented adventure story.
Are you an aspiring artist? Are you ready for marketing agencies to harvest your burgeoning talent by luring you into their cabal of lies?
Well this quick and easy how-to-guide will streamline the process of subverting and spoiling your creative energy before you get a chance to share your unique vision with the world. Start making money now, instead of fulfilling your dreams later.
Everybody needs money, but not everybody is as smart as you. More importantly, not everybody has this scientifically-normalized "How-To-Guide" for step-by-step money-making.
Mathematically, there are steps you can take to actually make more money. Leave your poor friends behind and say hello to your rich friends because you're (honestly) probably going to start making a lot of money really soon.
Life is full of horrible surprises. And if you ever find yourself trapped in a mansion with your friends getting butchered by an unidentified maniac, you'll have no idea how to respond.
This step-by-step how-to guide will make it easy for even the stupidest idiot to maneuver through such an unfolding crime, and to deal with the legal process that will inevitably follow.
These short fables by self-proclaimed guru Matt Payne describe how we can all transform our lives by earning more profits. The fancy language and amoral tone will delight even the winniest of clyptics.
A gruesome grimoire of hilarious anecdotes, wonderful tales, impossible bullshit, and good advice.
As well as sorcery, spiritual insight, get-rich-quick schemes, and ancient wisdom.
Pretty much x-rated.
Join Dr. Maverick Branderdash as he evades the law and pursues justice.
Join him as he flees and skis down Dinosaur Mountain, a magically never-ending ski-hill where anything can happen!
Will nonsense-poetry eat his mind? Will he allow the tyrannical Giant Candycane to rule the slopes? Will Detective Trent drag Maverick to jail? Will the doctor ever find a way off Dinosaur Mountain?
on Dec. 30, 2011
This is a fun little moster-tale. It would be good for kids.
Brain Waves: Secrets of Reality
on May 28, 2012
I really enjoy metaphysical musings from thoughtful people. That's what this is: stylistic metaphysical musings from someone with knowledge of science and insight into the mind. It's fun to read, aphoristic in the style of Nietzsche (though not as compelling... or devestating). A fun piece of introspection for anybody who has ever pondered consciousness and the universe.
Honestly, stuff like this is the reason I bought an e-reader. Works of art that are totally worth reading, but which a publisher probably would never touch.