H.R. Gerrard


If you really want to know about my personal life, hire a private detective.
Actually, I know a guy...


Max Wiley: Adventures of a Defective DICK!
Price: $3.95 USD. Words: 17,140. Language: English. Published: April 5, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Short Stories
You've heard of "Hard Boiled Detectives?" Well here's one who's half-baked! In this case, literally... This is the casebook of most unqualified guy ever to put on a pair of gumshoes. A man whose only real talents are being a wise-ass and getting into trouble, with cases right out of Rod Serling's slush pile! He's a stand-up guy without a microphone and each case requires a two drink minimum.

Smashwords book reviews by H.R. Gerrard

  • The Illuminators on Feb. 20, 2012

    Hello Mr. Daley, Yours is the first book I have read as my introduction to smashwords. Having an affinity for things humorous, I went to the humor and comedy section. Perusing the titles I noticed one photo cover that had the look of the Bible and I thought, "Ballsy!" Naturally I went for that. As a short essay parody it had a nice twist, especially the "Forced" beginning, and the thing with the carpenter hanging out with the fishermen, well something wasn't on the level but then, the doctrines of Cods & Effects are quite well known. You actually have the beginnings of a good idea here. Taking the bible and turning it into something that could be funny and still have a cogent message to tell. See the works of Christopher Moore for an example. This needs expansion, it needs depth, it needs more work but mostly, "It Needs To Be DONE!" I do like the viewpoint of the Publisher being harangued by this guy with this really wild story. Work with these two guys, make them the Cheech & Chong of the Middle East. In fact, imagine a movie with Cheech & Chong playing these two guys and go from there. I can imagine a scene where Cheech has to cover the execution of this martyr for another publication of his and he runs into Chong at the same event. "It's absolutely terrible! What they're doing to this poor man is amazing. This is being done in the name of justice? Doesn't it make you sick?" "Are you Kidding,Man?! This is Totally, Fucking AWESOME!!! I can Use This!!!" Okay, it's not the Life of Brian! But I hope you get the idea. Do something 'MOORE' with this! This is the best review I can give you.
  • The Trickster's Apprentice: Chapter 1 - Mise of Inculcation on March 19, 2012

    It is Monday Morning, March 19, 2012, 3:38AM. I just finished this absolutely engaging and wonderfully sarcastic story and I wish to say, "Thank You!" This was a truly good read, I had a lot of fun rooting for the main character, a rascally rogue complete with a snarkish attitude and an ever un-complementary Unconscious ego. I loved how you used that voice that we all have inside our heads, the one we try not to listen to and usually succeed at to our own detriment and disillusionment. You have a real hook there that I hope you develop into a series. The setting of the story was a little vague though. Where does it happen? On Earth or another world? When? Contemporary time? Recent history? Ancient past? Post-apocolyptic future? A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? Location should also be a character in the story. In fact, some of the best authors do this. I will admit that I need a thesaurus to follow some of the dialog. Some writers do feel the need to showcase their intelligence and resort to slinging obscure words here and there into a story. Once in a while is fine but if you're after an audience you shouldn't make too much of a practice of this. In short, Don't teach us English, tell us a Story! That's what we're here for. Anyway, I think you have a good thing going on here! I'd love for you to make this into a larger story and have it published in traditional hard or paper-backed books. I wish you plenty of success. I also wish you'd hurry up with the next installment. Get Busy!