Prologue : My parents met. (Prologues are never much use.)
Chapter One: I am born. The world blinks.
Chapter Two: I toddle. I am introduced to the works of Richard Scarry. The illustrations burn themselves into my tiny mind. This is followed by an intense interest in Winnie the Pooh and the Radio Times.
Chapter Three: Beanos and Dandys and tape recorders enter my life. I read the comic strips aloud, record these performances. Leads to writing my own stories, which are mostly about spaceships or murderous snakes.
Chapter Four: Santa brings a Commodore 64. Writing is forgotten.
Chapter Five: Teenage nerdism strikes. Dragonlance Chronicles are read. An attempt is made to copy them. Results are dreadful.
Chapter Six: Off to university to study ancient history and archaeology. Hat and whip not received. Compaints about this are ignored. University mostly a waste of time, apart from hours spent writing apocalyptic horror-comedy on 386 PC. It’s great.
Chapter Seven: Apocalyptic horror-comedy sent out to literary agents. None are interested. Novel not great. Mostly a waste of time.
Chapter Eight: A long period filled with much writing and many submissions and plenty of rejection letters. Decide I can’t stand prologues as they’re never much use.
Chapter Nine: Short stories accepted by Polluto, Voluted Tales and Kzine. Prompts a vigorous interest in Kindle Direct Publishing. First release is Macadamian Pliers, YA horror with an emphasis on creepy, spooky and other ooky things.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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by Steve Conoboy
If you enjoy bad language, violence, sauciness and musical numbers, then this book is not for you as all those tools are put to awful use within. If, however, you have ever committed a crime that no-one ever found out about, then reading through the comings and goings of these dreadful characters is probably punishment enough. Go on, you know you deserve it.
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