Nathan Bentley


When I was a kid I wanted to be a French speaking artist who ran a casino. Today I am none of those things.

Well, I sort of am. I do paint, but I don’t make a living as an actual, no-fooling “artist” yet. Most of my skills were learned watching a four year old finger paint at my friend Andy’s house and my work mostly it resembles animals wearing people clothes. I like to work in acrylic because I can sort of slap it on the canvas and smear it around until it looks like something. It also washes off hands and face easier than oils do.

Like all the best artists I have no money and no one will appreciate my work until I’m dead and I can’t demand a commission for them selling my stuff for a lot more than they paid for it.

I don’t speak French at all, but I do occasionally eat some types of cheese and drink wine. For a while I was living with a couple and he was from Nice in France. That guy was cool, his name was François and I tried to copy his accent but then he and his hot Chilean girlfriend moved out and I got stuck with a Kiwi and two Iranians and I don’t like their accents as much. Finally, the casino didn’t happen either, but sometimes I cross the street without looking which can be a gamble depending where I’m living at the time.

I do enjoy writing though. Mostly I write job applications and Internet dating profiles; although I do branch out occasionally and also write resignation letters and fantasy lists of women I’d like to have sex with.

I’ve written a book named The Getaway Effect and I’m currently working on another. I reckon I have at least five in me. You can read some of my writing here on my blog before you buy yourself a copy.

I’ll also paint a picture of your cat wearing a monocle and a fake moustache; because yes, I am that desperate to make a living.

Where to find Nathan Bentley online

Where to buy in print


This member has not published any books.