Tim Bartholomew


Tim Bartholomew (www.timbartholomew.co.uk) is both a writer and actor, appearing most famously in TV commercials as Santa Claus for Marks & Spencer (2016) and the benign old Grandpa for Asda in their 2017 Christmas campaign.

Writing under the name Timothy Edward, his first comedy novel with “rude” bits, Lessons in Humiliation, received the following accolade from his old Dad: “Well, you’ve either had an unusual sex life or a very vivid imagination.” In point of fact, the reviewer was right on both counts.

Tim has also recorded the book for Amazon/Audible. At 10 hours 38 minutes, it makes ideal listening for long car journeys or flights. He is looking forward to recording Body Language too.

As they say in theatre programme credits, Tim has appeared on stage and screen for nearly twenty-five years, being cast normally as a benign old buffer, Captain Hook, a drag queen or a mad professor. According to one casting director, “it’s all about your rolling eyeballs, darling.” These days, however, Tim is aware that it’s all about his wrinkles: that lived-in face that earns him money for having fun in exotic locations.

In a varied career, Tim has also been an academic publisher, illustrator, music teacher, a payroll clerk and, in recent decades, a voice coach and Head of Drama at a mad school in Southern England. He draws material for his books from both his professional life, his own improbable experiences and, of course, family holidays.

Under his real name of Tim Baker, the author lives with his wife in Kent, the Garden of England. He is father to three boys and wicked stepfather to another boy and two girls, none of whom is inclined to read his erotic novels. He is an avid amateur photographer of birds—especially those of Trinidad and Tobago where his wife was born and upon whose glorious, secluded beaches Body Language opens and closes.

Twitter: @TimBartholomew5
Facebook: @TimBaker444
Instagram: @timbakerbartholomew

Where to find Tim Bartholomew online


Slave to Beauty
Tim Bartholomew tells a comedic and thrilling tale of romance, sex, intrigue, and witty banter!
Body Language
Price: $4.99 USD.
Love Knot
Price: $4.99 USD.
Casting Couch
Price: $4.99 USD.


Slave to Beauty: The Complete Trilogy
Price: $6.99 USD. Words: 175,670. Language: English. Published: May 29, 2020 by Deep Desires Press. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Suspense, Fiction » Romance » Erotic
In this fast-paced tale of beauty and many horny beasts, Andrew leaves behind his monk-like existence in cozy England to follow wherever the beautiful Bryony leads him, and all while trying to keep his virtue.
Casting Couch
Series: Slave to Beauty, Book 3. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 69,450. Language: English. Published: September 19, 2019 by Deep Desires Press. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Contemporary, Fiction » Romance » Erotic
Catapulted out of his comfort zone and into the torrid atmosphere of a Moscow film studio, can a guileless and irresistible young man escape erotic possibilities with a clear conscience, or must he risk everything?
Love Knot
Series: Slave to Beauty, Book 2. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 50,480. Language: English. Published: January 22, 2019 by Deep Desires Press. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Suspense, Fiction » Romance » Erotic
Saltwater seduction, treachery and a nautical nightmare.
Body Language
Series: Slave to Beauty, Book 1. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 59,840. Language: English. Published: May 15, 2018 by Deep Desires Press. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Action/adventure, Fiction » Romance » Erotic
In this fast-paced tale of beauty and three beasts, an irresistible hero is locked in deadly conflict with a craven older woman out for carnal revenge. Can Andrew’s manhood survive in the teeth of her demands?