If other "self-help relationship" books didn't feel right, try this one!!
As someone who has been trying to figure out where I fit in with all the self-help relationship books out there, and yes, I've read most of the mainstream ones like Mars/Venus, What Women Do, Act Like a Lady, Love Smart...I just never saw myself in any of the examples or definitions. Some element seemed always to be missing.
It was suggested that I read Leading and Supportive Love by a good friend in the BDSM community, I was sure this wasn't going to fit as well. I figured I would read it 'just because' and report back that 'no, this doesn't fit either.' I couldn't have been more wrong!
I did what I usually do with books like this, I jumped to the the part where the types are defined. As I was reading through the extensive list of examples for the two types, I found myself nodding my head and checking off the points that rang true to me and for the different partners I've had over the years. When I was done, I'd nearly checked off the entire list for the Supportive-type for myself, and so many of the Leading-type points for those relationships that I thought worked best -- I knew I had to start from the beginning of the book and read it through.
Let me point out one thing though: while I was going through that exercise -- I was thinking of my parents married over 40 years and my grandparents married nearly 60 years. In the case of my parents, neither one fit either type, but in my grandparents' case, Grandmom was a Leading-type (and still is) while Granddad was the Supporting-type until his death. So it was truly clear to me that the types are not gender-biased.
I really think that if you are someone who has been in several relationships where you felt like you really weren't understood by your partner or that you felt lost in how to behave or that you wished your partner would do as promised (even if its just finishing the dishes) -- you need this book! Don't expect miracle overnight, but know that a better understanding of yourself and how you want and need to function in a relationship will improve your current one or help you in your next one.