T J Price


Born in 1887. Horse orthodonist and connoisseur of Vimto. Took up the pen when the local dogtrack closed down. Favourite seduction method is to sing a lullaby rendition of "Knees Up Mother Brown" accompanied by trombone and therimn. Handy with a Bowie Knife but happier with a blancmange. Voted for Electrolux in the 1932 Presidential Election. Most favoured herb: Parsley. Turned down a proposal of polygamy from the Van DeGroote sisters. "Liked" sausage rolls on Facebook -- nothing else, just sausage rolls. Represented in all court cases by Harbottle, Kinch and Rumsfeld. Took up the pen while convalescing from a volcanic erruption. Under the keen, silver-blue gaze of the full moon is liable to turn into a chrysanthenmum. Author of "Bathtime with a Shoggoth" MindMyBunion! Press (1959) "To Jupiter and Back on a Dandelion" CrabApple Press (1962) "Insuffrina Tuttiyana -- The Tonsured Temptress" Harvard University Press (1963) "The Sugar-Coated Phalanx -- a Survey of Lily-Livered Armies Throughout History" Deep Fried Angel Publications (1974) "The Old Cloud -- A Study of Fog in Bloxwich, UK" Harvard University Press (1977) "Germolene -- The Smell and Texture of Social Failure" Yale University Press (1991) "Implementing Unix on the Goblin Teasmade" Babarni Computer Books (1992) "How to Boil an Egg in Your Dishwasher and Other Copper-Bottomed Recession-Proof Cooking Tips" Faber & Faber (2008). Up and coming for 2013, "Hoof Oil -- How, When, Why and What?"


A Date in Winter
By T J Price
Price: Free! Words: 1,150. Language: English. Published: August 30, 2011. Category: Fiction
Twelve twelve-line lyrics about clockwork and resurrection.

T J Price’s tag cloud

atheism    clockwork    free    goethe    island    lovecraftian    metaphysical    rebirth    resurrection    rhyme    ringelnatz    soul    time    translation    verse   

Smashwords book reviews by T J Price

  • Candy and Cigarettes on Sep. 16, 2011
    star star star star star
    A relentlessly bleak tale told with poetic flair. The style is literary, but the story-telling has the narrative force of a solid thriller. http://enovellareview.blogspot.com/
  • The Jesus Fish and Slaughter Bird on Oct. 05, 2011
    star star star
    Well written downbeat story with an upbeat ending.
  • Eddie's Shorts - Volume 2 on Oct. 13, 2011
    star star star star star
    All of "Eddie's Shorts" are first rate -- intelligent and surprising, and most importantly, enjoyable. The writing is spot on. I particularly liked "67 Feet in the Air".
  • Emigrant for a day on Oct. 26, 2011
    star star star star star
    A rather wonderful prose poem.
  • The Space on March 22, 2012
    star star star star
    Interesting idea -- a Great Old One finally joins an accountancy firm. Needs a trifle more editing in places, but a nice read.
  • How to be Happy (No Fairy Dust or Moonbeams Required) on May 13, 2012
    star star star star star
    How to be Happy is a very readable book and Cara Stein must have put a lot of work into writing it. I'd recommend it to everyone, because everyone at some point will probably need some of this advice. Well done.
  • The Horror Days on Dec. 02, 2012
    star star star star star
    Bah, humbug indeed!