The Rabbi and the Vampire (A Short Story)
on July 03, 2012
I have had the delight and pleasure of reading the Rabbi and the Vampire by Darren Stein.
I was completely enthralled. What a clever idea. I totally believed it. Your command of the descriptive equally balanced with the narration was perfect. I liked learning the Hebrew words you used in the description of the holy men.
I did find a couple technical wording mistakes that were overlooked. This story is so colorful and vivid, I’d hate to have it go to print and be marred with minor typographical errors.
I have seen that happen sadly too often.
In the first paragraph in the first sentence you write ‘’,her feet mercifully numb as they slid and slit against the icy cobble stones beneath them.’’ Did you mean to say slit? It is interesting and different and can be used I suppose, however it is traditional to say slipped.
Also on page four, in the paragraph “So once again, -,looking back with concern at the young women and our little family- “ I suspect you meant to say the young woman.
Page five paragraph begins, “ ‘Thankyou, ‘ she said. Obviously a space is needed between.
Page eight, “we have known or you kind for thousands of years.” Of course you want ‘your kind’.
Again page nine ‘thankyou, Abraham. Space between thank and you should be there.
Thank you so very much in allowing me to read this gem and give my opinion of it to you.
Cindy M. Erwin
PS, A few years back the Stoker family had the story of Dracula denoted of the fact that Bram never got rights to his book, I wonder if you have let them see your story and how they would feel about it?
It tickles me so much how you have given Bram Stoker ‘back story’.