William Hrdina

Biography

William Hrdina writes Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations.
If you like his stories, please subscribe to his FREE short story podcast, Where the Fnords Linger. You can find it on iTunes. His books are also available via audible.com if you don't like reading with your eyes.
The only thing you really need to remember is www.williamhrdina.com.
William Hrdina was born in Chicago in 1974 and has been recently transplanted to Portland, Oregon where he is very happy with his animal children and his wife.

Smashwords Interview

Please introduce yourself, who are you and what do you do?
My name is William Hrdina and I write Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations.
I have published novels in a number of different genres including modern fantasy, satire, humor and sci-fi. So far, I’ve written 18 novels and over 100 short stories. I quit my ‘day job’ doing medical simulations with robots to be a full time writer in October of 2012. I hold a philosophy and a religion degree from Indiana University.
What first inspired you to start writing?
It was in college. I turned in a research paper to my Sufism professor and he wrote, “You are hearing footsteps on a bridge in Indiana and assuming it’s an elephant” under my grade (a generous A-). The paper was (I have to admit) a fairly fantastical conspiracy between the Knights Templar and various Sufi sects based on some philosophical similarities that arose immediately after the First Crusade period. When I read my professor’s comment, I realized I didn’t care if what I wrote was true- truth, for me, wasn’t the point. It made a good story- whether it was ‘correct’ was irrelevant- why should reality stand in the way of a good yarn? In an epiphany, I realized this had always my frustration with college. I was only interested in religion insofar as it gave me interesting ideas and perspectives from which to tell stories. Then I realized I was doing the same thing with the philosophy, history, cognitive science, sociology, and film courses I was taking. I wasn’t in college to get a degree or even to learn- I was there to get seeds. Seeds that have grown into my books. Just as when I realize I’ve been setting up a plot revelation that surprises me as much as it does the reader- I’d been preparing to be a writer without even knowing I was doing it.
Once I knew what was happening, I gave in to the inevitable and sat down at an old-fashioned word processor- the kind with two lines of text on a small green screen. You had to type one page at a time and then print it on the attached dot-matrix printer. That machine was like a hybrid typewriter and computer- with the deficiencies of both and the benefits of neither. Even under those conditions, I found if I just sat and paid attention, there was a movie in my head- just waiting for me to watch it.
That was when the work began. It took years and several novels before I learned to make my stupid fingers write words that matched the various voices in the movie and subtleties of the movie I was watching in my head. Now, after eighteen novels, I’ve reached the point where I know how to use my instrument. I’ve put in my 10,000 hours and what was once work, is now just fun. I work as much as any of the super-motivated business guys I’ve met- I just get paid a whole lot worse (so, so much worse) for my efforts. I care, but I don’t, because what I do is so fulfilling creatively and I get to wake up every morning excited by what I’m going to do.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find William Hrdina online


Where to buy in print


Books

The Set-Up
By William Hrdina
You set the price! Words: 2,790. Language: English. Published: April 4, 2014. Category: Fiction
The Set-Up is actually a quick sketch for an idea I plan to write as a screenplay. If I can keep the scope small, I might even try to get it made here in Portland. It’s a twist on the classic crime film- a sort of reverse Reservoir Dogs.
Exodus: Year 40
By William Hrdina
You set the price! Words: 2,200. Language: English. Published: March 18, 2014. Category: Fiction
Exodus Year 40- is a sort of humorous essay/deconstruction of the Ten Commandments story as it is found in Exodus. I’ve been doing a lot of Bible reading as research for my latest novel The Gospels of Nikolai Tesla and I couldn’t help myself.
Carsickness and the Virtual Reality Universe
By William Hrdina
You set the price! Words: 1,850. Language: English. Published: March 6, 2014. Category: Fiction
A brother and sister explore the philosophical implications of virtual reality under the best possible conditions.
Let's See How You Like It
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations, Book 37. You set the price! Words: 1,490. Language: English. Published: January 29, 2014. Category: Fiction
Let's See How You Like It is a satire, but it introduces ideas that I personally find very interesting. What do we do with those who wear ignorant hatred as a badge of honor? Is Frank right or wrong? They're a whole lot of folks out there who will find this story offensive instead of funny and thought provoking. To you, I say, phhhht.
Stuck in a Hotel Room Closet on a Friday Night
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,600. Language: English. Published: August 2, 2013. Category: Fiction
(5.00 from 1 review)
Stuck in a Closet on a Friday Night was first written in 2001. I recently found the handwritten story in a pile of old papers. It is the second story in what I planned to be a trilogy of “This is so Stupid” stories. The first story in the series is called ‘Existential Drag in Forest’ and is available in my short story collection “Where the Fnords Linger” on Amazon or Kindle.
Superhero Quick-Change Blues
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,680. Language: English. Published: July 17, 2013. Category: Fiction
When Terrance Trainer discovers he has superpowers, he is forced to confront a sad truth- being a superhero is as straight forward as it seems.
A Bong Named Droopy- A Bobby Stoner Adventure
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,050. Language: English. Published: June 28, 2013. Category: Fiction
A silly story about a bong Bobby Stoner had in college that wanted one thing more than any other: respect. If you enjoy this story, you should check out the full length novel: The Diary of Bobby Stoner- available on Amazon, Kindle, and Audible.com.
Snoopy Is a Time Lord
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations, Book 36. You set the price! Words: 2,730. Language: English. Published: June 13, 2013. Category: Fiction
A mash-up of Dr. Who and the classic animated special "You're the Greatest Charlie Brown." For the first time, Charlie Brown's never-ending failures get an explanation.
Joe the Satirist
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 4,210. Language: English. Published: May 17, 2013. Category: Fiction
A horror story in the style of Mark Twain about a man named Joe the Satirist who travels from town to town lampooning the local culture.
Michael Bay Must Die!! --A Satire
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,920. Language: English. Published: April 17, 2013. Category: Fiction
A surreal satire about some toys who learn about Bay's movies and vow to get revenge for the way he portrays them- and the universe as a whole.
Infinite Regress
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,480. Language: English. Published: March 20, 2013. Category: Fiction
INFINITE REGRESS- A short piece of sci-fi about a girl who has an idea to build a computer inside a computer- and what happens. I originally had the idea for this story when I was thinking about a computer programming class I took way back in like 1983. Enjoy!
Life of Crime
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 4,250. Language: English. Published: February 25, 2013. Category: Fiction
Life of Crime tells the story of a son who discovers his boring baby boomer parents have been living a secret life- a secret life that has recently gotten out of hand. (I have a strong feeling this story will eventually be expanded into a full novel- the characters- especially the parents, have been hanging around in the back of my imagination- they have much more to say)
Why Santa Shared His Soul
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,770. Language: English. Published: December 5, 2012. Category: Fiction
(5.00 from 3 reviews)
A very heartwarming Christmas story to tell your kids when they want to know why you're buying them presents instead of Santa.
Samson and Delilah- WORST. STORY. EVER.
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 3,110. Language: English. Published: November 26, 2012. Category: Fiction
(5.00 from 1 review)
I don't know if you've ever read this story in the bible- but man- it sucks!
It Takes All Three- A Bobby Stoner Adventure
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,740. Language: English. Published: November 11, 2012. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 1 review)
It Takes All Three is a story from the early days of Bobby Stoner- the main character in "The Diary of Bobbys Stoner." In this story, Bobby learns an important lesson about taking things for granted. Oh, and there's a magic bunny rabbit.
The Room Behind the Wall
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 3,510. Language: English. Published: October 28, 2012. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 2 reviews)
When you buy a new house you never really know what you're going to get. My take on the classic horror trope: the room behind the wall.
Post-Apocalyptic TP Blues
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,020. Language: English. Published: September 18, 2012. Category: Fiction
Post-Apocalyptic TP Blues is the tale of a not particularly likeable fellow named Norman Joyner. A doomcryer from birth- Norman gets his wish when 94% of the population dies of the flu. When the dust clears- Norman has a plan to rule what remains of America- one little white square of TP at a time.
The Dead Celebrity Space Corps
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,730. Language: English. Published: September 6, 2012. Category: Fiction
0.25 star(4.33 from 3 reviews)
It's sad when a celebrity dies before their time. But, what if they're not really dead? What if they've just been recruited to a higher purpose?
Moses, God and the Plagues- A Pharaoh's View
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,310. Language: English. Published: September 6, 2012. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 1 review)
Everyone is familiar with the ultimate smackdown battle between Moses and the Pharaoh of Egypt. But I don't get the feeling many people have actually read the text.
Why 'The Devil Came Down to Georgia' Is a Stupid Song
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 770. Language: English. Published: August 30, 2012. Category: Fiction
0.5 star(3.50 from 2 reviews)
This is the story of why The Devil Came Down to Georgia is a stupid song. Because it really, really is.
Destiny Can Be a Real Pain in the Ass
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,390. Language: English. Published: August 29, 2012. Category: Fiction
(3.00 from 1 review)
What happens if you're the chosen one... but you suck at it?
You Say It Without Laughing
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,460. Language: English. Published: August 29, 2012. Category: Fiction
It's a bit of a curse to have a childish sense of humor, but for one Ohio city-councilman, not being able to keep it together could mean the loss of his job. Some of this story is true, but most of it isn't.
The Battle of Lake Lynwood- A Non-Cautionary Tale
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,560. Language: English. Published: August 13, 2012. Category: Fiction
The story of how I spent my 4th of July when I was 11 and 12 years old.
SeaWeed
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,960. Language: English. Published: December 19, 2011. Category: Fiction
Bobby Steiner, perpetually stoned heroine of "The Diary of Bobby Steiner" returns with an all-new short adventure.
Craig's List and Inner Tubes: A Bank Robbery
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,490. Language: English. Published: September 15, 2011. Category: Fiction
0.5 star(2.50 from 2 reviews)
A short story inspired by true events.
A Scene from the Life of Shadowfax- Gandalf's Horse
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,500. Language: English. Published: September 15, 2011. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 2 reviews)
It's not easy being a wizard's horse.
The Justice League of Prozac
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,850. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2011. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 1 review)
It isn't easy being a superhero.
Bird
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,840. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2011. Category: Fiction
A man in a mental hospital finds solace in music.
The Hippie Photo of Doom
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,660. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2011. Category: Fiction
What do you do when you see yourself in a photo you can't possibly be in?
Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Dead Beatle
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,890. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2011. Category: Fiction
Sherlock Holmes takes on his greatest case, the Paul McCartney death clues.
Dogwalking
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 2,780. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2011. Category: Fiction
A man, his dog, and an important lesson in civics... With monsters.
Mr. Snuffleupagus Is God
By William Hrdina
Series: Simple Journeys to Odd Destinations. You set the price! Words: 1,710. Language: English. Published: September 11, 2011. Category: Fiction
0.5 star(3.50 from 2 reviews)
Seriously. He is.
Kenny G Must Die- A Satire About Music... And Zombies
By William Hrdina
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 57,320. Language: English. Published: July 27, 2010. Category: Fiction
The guy in the next cubicle listens exclusively to Kenny G. It's all Aliester Crewley hears at work, day after excruciating day. It's driving him mad. Music this bad can only mean one thing- something demon-ey is afoot. A powerful amateur magickian, Aliester knows how to deal with demons. But actions can have seriously unintended, rather bizarre consequences- of the Apocalyptic kind.

William Hrdina’s tag cloud

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