By Byzantine Thomas

Okay, so the first thing you do when you come into a lot of money, like I did when my filthy rich grandfather died, especially if you think you hate people, is buy an island and build a big house on it and begin to live out your life as an ultra-hermit. However, invariably, what happens after, over time, is you start to realize maybe you don’t hate people, maybe you might even like to have some people around, well maybe just girls, maybe just cute girls. So, then you put an ad in some well-circulated papers and magazines about The Cutie Conservation Center, which is really just your last name, as in Hamilton Cutie, where people might like to send their unwanted cuties, for whatever reason and for however long, which is probably a thing, maybe, and, for a small fee, their cuties, like a bird sanctuary or autobahn society, would be protected, from what, I haven’t got a clue, until that same cutie is wanted again. And so, that’s what I did, some hundred or so cuties ago.