on June 17, 2012 :
I enjoyed this story and it is hot with lots to keep the reader going. It's surprisingly quick to get into the action for a women's piece of writing although there is good story-line behind it.
Occasionally the writing could have been more precise. In erotica it's important to know exactly what's going down, not to be distracted by thinking: 'What, her hand is where? What did he say?' There is a lot of dialogue.
Did Stuart have to stop on at the bookstore? He says he won't be long but then he seems to have stopped on all afternoon to finish up work. I don't mind either way, I just want it to be clearer - ditto with the customer whose money he is taking, it wasn't absolutely clear to me that he left the shop. Nice poetic touch, the bell ringing and them moving into a clinch however maybe more clarity can be given.
Characterisation is good although there could have been a clearer description of Stuart earlier. Emily is sensitively described as a mixed heritage woman without shoving it in our faces, although with her caramel skin would her buttocks ever look like rosy apples?
Stuart is a bit more complicated. He talks like an African American, saying 'baby' all the time. He says it a lot, maybe it's my personal dislike of it as an infantilising term, although even Emily at one point says I'm a grown up.
I am not sure we had to wait till the end for the letter, although I recognise the narrative tension that creates.
This is a poetic, lyrical and sexy piece of writing.
(review of free book)