The Long Slog Back

Rated 3.33/5 based on 3 reviews
On a dark lonely night, a young lad, walks home after a night out. During the long slog back to Tremwell from Durham he encounters a girl in a pink dress in very unusual circumstances. However, after an awkward introduction the two hit it off and decide on trekking back together.

Things are going well but something is odd about the girl. Soon he is wondering who or what he is walking with! More

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Words: 30,100
Language: English
ISBN: 9781310045172
About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.com

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!
2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire
4_Scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.D

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filth. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"

PS: Milthy ya little ninnyhammer, how are things. I ain't heard from ya, me old buddy, for quite some time. I hope you've not been arrested again for snorting tadpoles out'ta Mrs.Plunderthunks fish-pond....ya dirty little sod!

PPS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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Reviews

Review by: James Jenkins on July 01, 2017 :
Too much profanity,
(review of free book)

Review by: Walter Lazo on Nov. 30, 2014 :
This is one of my favorite of Mr. Strickland's stories. While still containing his trademark humor, it is a much deeper work. The Long Slog Back contains a pair of characters that upon first encounter seem little more than dimwits; however, as the story progresses these characters gain in stature, so that by the end I actually cared about them. This is a very good horror/comedy. After finishing the story, though, I was left with a strange craving for a pint.
(review of free book)

Review by: Michael Carter on Oct. 12, 2014 :
This is the long-awaited new horror/fantasy/comedy novella by Jonny Strickland, and as usual it's full of clever ideas, brilliant earthy humour, and some clever literary techniques.

Ned and Richie are good mates, and after enjoying a night on the town, when Richie scores, Ned is forced to walk back home, a long slog back. However, this night, on the dark roads of the journey, he meets Trudy, a young mysterious woman who is facing a hideous danger. Ned, and later Richie, are the kind of stupid-but-heroic lads who can't help getting involved, in what becomes the history and evolution of a vicious serial killer, and how he turns into a hideous spectral monster made of rats and glass and flame.

This is hugely enjoyable, and reads much quicker than its long length. Strickland's style is down-to-earth and very easy to read, and the amount of funny lines, imaginative ideas, and, at the end, playing with the readers expectations, is all very cleverly done.

There are a few slight typo's and mis-spellings and stuff here, but I guarantee that once you've gotten into the story you'll want to finish it.

Great stuff.
(review of free book)

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