Xavier Cockroachal Damon's, Um, Entirely Fictitious Autobiography

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The fictitious autobiography of Xavier Cockroachal Damon. The story of the life of me, while also in no way whatsoever at all. More

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About Xavier Cockroachal Damon

I am Xavier Cockroachal Damon, grand master of the Happy Times Parade. Of course, during the first procession of it I did curse out all the other members of the parade entourage and berate them for not seeing that life was just an empty, meaningless, void of hellish nothingness while drunk off my ass. I got fired. And so I moved on from this, deciding to see it as an experience I could learn from as I continued my journey along the gift that is life. My next job? Grand master of the Loving Life And Doing It All The While With A Smile parade. I, ah, got fired again when I cursed out all the other members of the parade entourage and berated them for not seeing that life was just an empty, meaningless, void of hellish nothingness while drunk off my ass. O.k., time out, wait, why in hell am I being hired as grand master of all these freakin parades? I mean it's not like I went to parade leader school for Christ sake. I did attend both barber and clown colleges. I did flunk out of barber college, probably not necessary to mention once I reveal I cut my own hair, but I did graduate clown college dumbass dumb wowdy with a moron clown degree. Um, looking back at that I really begin to wonder if that was an actual, legitimate degree. What the hell. My next two jobs were as the head of the I Love Life, Life Is Good parade, and the Life It Makes You Want To Laugh, Please Don't Cut Yourself In Half, Because If You Do, I Will Have To Happily Sew Back You parade. Oh Jesus Ganesh. You know, I really am starting to believe, that in a world of seemingly unbridled stupidity, parade organizers take the crown. So take it and wear it during your next march of inane frivolity, I won't take the job! Um, kind of got fired from both those jobs as well. At which point I started to write. I did so, so that I might spread the wonder and glory that is life and instill within all who read the words, hope that tomorrow will unquestionably be better than today. I have six self-published books. Two are novels "Dawn" and the sarcastically titled "What a Wonderful World". The rest are compilations of works. They are "Xavier Cockroachal Damon's, Um, Entirely Fictitious Autobiography and Autobiography Second Verse and the Mysteries that Follow, Entries Up to Six, Hanging from Your Crucifix" and "Love Is What Will Make an Immortal Die and Waiting for Godotal and Future Uncertain, Self-sedition, No Reason, Rhyme, Trapped Within the Demise of Time and Mystery of the Missing Dead", "Hope, Cockroachalisms, 2 Hell Stories and Welcome to the Idiot Box (Essays)", and "Dog Years Within the Curse of 7. Six Plays, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Zero." Oh, and there is also "Welcome to Nowhereland (5 Stories)" by the incomparable Aaron Aaronson. Goodnight and God bless.

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