Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family

By Amy Sprenger
Published by Beyond the Page Publishing
$2.99 Rating: Not yet rated.
Published: Aug. 06, 2012
Words: 86,612 (approximate)
Language: English
ISBN: 9781937349387

Short description

From the author of the award-winning blog Snarky Mommy comes a book that will make every woman who has ever been pregnant pee with laughter (not that that’s hard).

Extended description

"Amy Sprenger's foray into factual fiction is a hilarious (and sometimes poignant) look at high-risk pregnancy from her view at the end of the bed. Sprenger offers a fresh and funny voice that readers will love!"
--New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster

Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marched into her doctor’s office, latte in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby was a boy or a girl. Sure, sure, this appointment was supposed to be about checking the health of the baby, but everyone who’s ever been there knows it’s really about looking for what lays, or doesn’t lay, between the legs. (Read more) "Amy Sprenger's foray into factual fiction is a hilarious (and sometimes poignant) look at high-risk pregnancy from her view at the end of the bed. Sprenger offers a fresh and funny voice that readers will love!"
--New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster

Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marched into her doctor’s office, latte in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby was a boy or a girl. Sure, sure, this appointment was supposed to be about checking the health of the baby, but everyone who’s ever been there knows it’s really about looking for what lays, or doesn’t lay, between the legs.

So when the doctor tells her she has an incompetent cervix, Amy does what any woman would do. She becomes immediately offended. Is that a politically correct way of saying her cervix sucks? Unfortunately, as she’s soon to learn, it’s a lot more than that. The only way to keep that baby from falling out on the sidewalk (probably in front of Starbucks) is for her doctor to stitch her cervix closed and for Amy to stay in bed for the next four months.

Four months that are carefully detailed in this “memoir.” A memoir that, while basically true, has been embellished with Amy’s signature brand of humor and hilarity.

With more time off than a castoff contestant on The Bachelor, Amy took pen to paper and settled in for the ride. But instead of sitting around eating bonbons, she’s popping hypertension drugs to stave off preterm labor. And complications? Oh, she’s got your complications. She’s gut-rehabbing her house. Her mother moves in to care for her. Her husband takes a “mancation” while she’s stuck in the hospital. And every time she has a contraction, she’s convinced it’s The Big One.

Living by the adage that laughter is the best medicine, Amy fumbles her way through a series of sometimes serious and usually embarrassing situations. And just to be clear, using a bedpan qualifies as both serious and embarrassing.

“Hilarious and fast-paced, this debut novel will keep you laughing for at least nine months.”
--Maureen Lipinski, author of A Bump in the Road and Not Ready for Mom Jeans

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Amy Sprenger is the author of the award-winning blog SnarkyMommy.com, where she tells it like it is and isn’t afraid to make fun of herself or her questionable parenting prowess. She has three kids under 6 and a penchant for getting herself into ridiculous situations. A former news and sports reporter, Amy lives with her husband and children in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood. She often wonders why she doesn’t have a live-in nanny, a closet full of Lululemon workout clothes and perfectly behaved children dressed head-to-toe in Ralph Lauren like all the other mommies in her ’hood. Then she remembers she hates those mommies.
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Tags

pregnancy, humor, memoir, parenting, motherhood, fatherhood, motherhood humor, bed rest, snarky mommy

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