By Luca Satana

I’m not sure exactly what possessed my mom to do it. I guess, at least the way my mom saw it, if she couldn’t convince me to turn my life around, well, she was gonna have to turn it around for me, by, basically, removing me from it. That’s all wonderful and good - not really, but now that she had me, and I mean had me, as I was completely and utterly incapacitated, and wholly at my mom’s mercy, after the initial panic dissipated, my one single and solitary question was what the holy hell - excuse my language, was my mom going to do to me?