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Location: Australia

Member Since: Nov. 18, 2018

Richard Forbes

Smashwords book reviews by Richard Forbes

The Assassins' Guild of Obseen: Vision of a Torn Land on Dec. 04, 2020
(no rating)
Unfortunately, this book just does not deliver and was a significant disappointment. To be honest, the struggle to even finish this book was staggering - I foolishly hoped it would get better but alas, it only got worse. Pros: 1) The premise is excellent, a "fantasy" type story set in a Sci-Fi world with a young female kick-ass protagonist with unparalleled combat training. 2) The author has spent a long time thinking through and creating a detailed world to set the story in. However, it just doesn't work. Cons: 1) The book is absolutely riddled with spelling, syntax and grammatical errors – Is this a first draft? Did ANYONE proof read this?. 2) The book is just way too long – easily 1/3 to 1/2 could be cut without compromising the story integrity. 3) Nearly all of the dialogue between characters is annoyingly endless inane trite dribble. Warriors, Masters & Leaders do not speak (nor act) this way. 4) There is way too many weird names for things (people, places, weapons, races, foods, drinks, you name it). This doesn't add value as it is way; way too much and the confusion detracts from the reading enjoyment. 5) There is far too much dialogue in made up languages that then is followed by a translation - this slows the pace of the story and is immensely annoying. 6) There is lots of combat sequences which should be cool but they are so totally unrealistic it is truly annoying (blade fights that last hours - really???). Also, "the bad" guys fight intelligently and have access to laser weapons but all the good guys are using blades (think Samurai/Ninja) and usually are more concerned with fighting to preserve their honour then actually survive??? 7) Too many of the characters, particularly the main protagonists, are just plain idiotic in their decision making and actions. One scene they act intelligently, then the next few plot points they do incredibly stupid life endangering things. Just not believable. 8) The good guys are all “Assassins” yet none of them are prepared to kill anyone. Does the author know what the word means? If she is so hell-bent on honourable good guys, while did she call them “assassins” and base them on Ninja’s? 9) The main protagonist (the afore mentioned young female kick-ass character) gets into a "to the death" duel with the ruler of the planet and again, fights stupidly (despite the bad guy fighting dirty) even though her life and the balance of the planet rest on her winning. Instead of killing the head bad guy, she repeatedly only superficially wounds him over a period of many hours whilst the planet is at war and all her side are dying waiting for the guy to be killed. How stupid can you be??? 10) Most annoying plot point? The worst bad guys to survive are all set free but the lead character? She saves the planet but is then punished due to the accidental breaking of stupid “clan” trite rules so was ordered to do????? Yeah, this book leaves the reader feeling angry and cheated…….could have been a great story…………….
The Assassins' Guild of Obseen: Vision of a Torn Land on Dec. 04, 2020

Unfortunately, this book just does not deliver and was a significant disappointment. To be honest, the struggle to even finish this book was staggering - I foolishly hoped it would get better but alas, it only got worse. Pros: 1) The premise is excellent, a "fantasy" type story set in a Sci-Fi world with a young female kick-ass protagonist with unparalleled combat training. 2) The author has spent a long time thinking through and creating a detailed world to set the story in. However, it just doesn't work. Cons: 1) The book is absolutely riddled with spelling, syntax and grammatical errors – Is this a first draft? Did ANYONE proof read this?. 2) The book is just way too long – easily 1/3 to 1/2 could be cut without compromising the story integrity. 3) Nearly all of the dialogue between characters is annoyingly endless inane trite dribble. Warriors, Masters & Leaders do not speak (nor act) this way. 4) There is way too many weird names for things (people, places, weapons, races, foods, drinks, you name it). This doesn't add value as it is way; way too much and the confusion detracts from the reading enjoyment. 5) There is far too much dialogue in made up languages that then is followed by a translation - this slows the pace of the story and is immensely annoying. 6) There is lots of combat sequences which should be cool but they are so totally unrealistic it is truly annoying (blade fights that last hours - really???). Also, "the bad" guys fight intelligently and have access to laser weapons but all the good guys are using blades (think Samurai/Ninja) and usually are more concerned with fighting to preserve their honour then actually survive??? 7) Too many of the characters, particularly the main protagonists, are just plain idiotic in their decision making and actions. One scene they act intelligently, then the next few plot points they do incredibly stupid life endangering things. Just not believable. 8) The good guys are all “Assassins” yet none of them are prepared to kill anyone. Does the author know what the word means? If she is so hell-bent on honourable good guys, while did she call them “assassins” and base them on Ninja’s? 9) The main protagonist (the afore mentioned young female kick-ass character) gets into a "to the death" duel with the ruler of the planet and again, fights stupidly (despite the bad guy fighting dirty) even though her life and the balance of the planet rest on her winning. Instead of killing the head bad guy, she repeatedly only superficially wounds him over a period of many hours whilst the planet is at war and all her side are dying waiting for the guy to be killed. How stupid can you be??? 10) Most annoying plot point? The worst bad guys to survive are all set free but the lead character? She saves the planet but is then punished due to the accidental breaking of stupid “clan” trite rules so was ordered to do????? Yeah, this book leaves the reader feeling angry and cheated…….could have been a great story…………….