Storyline was okay. The story needs to be edited, though. Too many grammatical issues and using too much simple vocabulary and repeated words. I felt that the woman needed to feel some discomfort during the anal sex - especially if the member was big and she's never done it before. Could be a great story but it needs to be edited badly.
The plot idea was good but needs more depth. I would like to know why heterosexual relatons were forbidden. The details about setting was minimal, and I would have like to know more about the moon facilities.
It was mentioned that they can make love to whoever they want when they take the suicide pill, but why does character say later that she would never be with a man if she leaves - this needs to be clarified.
How did Moon Man 22 know that 31 was interested? Was 22 with her when she accidentally saw him?
Ending was too abrupt. I would like to have more clues about the man that popped up near the end.
"And we all lived happily ever after" was unnecessary and clique.
The storyline wasn't so bad, though. I think this story could be great if information is clarified.
Nice writing style. Realistic and good plot. There are some grammatical errors, but storyline and pacing was good. I would like to read more stories from this author. I thought the story as Part One ended well.
Enjoyable read. My favorite stories are "The Fisherman and HIs Wife" and "The Haughty Princess. The stores were written in a conversational tone that was so funny. I would like to read more from this author.
Nicely written and pace is good. I would like to see more physical description of characters. The part where she's not allowed to speak was stimulating.
The ending was too basic. I think leaving out last two paragraphs would make ending better.
Story needed more details. I wanted to know more about the atmosphere and physical descriptions. Couple of cliches and statements such as "hot knife through butter". Needed to be more original. Some typos and grammatical errors such as (patties for panties, its for it's).
Good with describing clothes but need more physical descriptions. Pace was too fast. Needed to describe sexual acts more to create tension and to make more stimulating. Too much unnecessay dialogue especially in the beginning.
Most of dialogue seemed unnatural which made it unsexy. Could be a much better story if there were more details.