C.D. Reimer

Biography

C.D. Reimer writes about the everyday reality that he finds weird, twisted and absurd for which most people accept as being perfectly normal. He lives and works in Silicon Valley, consoling hurt computers and fixing broken users.

Smashwords Interview

What motivated you to become an indie author?
I followed the traditional method of writing and submitting short stories to the print magazines in 2006. My first published short story appeared in 2008 after 200 rejection slips. My second published short story appeared a year later after another 100 rejection slips. Things changed when I started writing speculative stories for the genre anthologies. I had 30+ short stories published in a dozen anthologies in a few short years.

Once a short story saw publication, it ceased to have any existence beyond being a reprint that nobody wanted. Unless you can sell novels like Stephen King - and even if you were Stephen King - traditional publishers are reluctant to publish a short story collection. After writing a 125,000-word first novel that I couldn't figure out how to edit, I went back to writing short stories. I got very frustrated that the reprint market for my short stories was non-existent.

I caught the tail-end of a discussion on Twitter in October 2010 where Georganna Hancock (@GLHancock) mentioned publishing ebooks on Amazon. I asked a few questions about publishing short stories as ebooks, signed up for an Amazon publishing account and initially published my first short story, "The Uninvited Spook," as a reprint ebook. A week later I came across Smashwords and the excellent "Smashwords Style Guide" ebook. I started publishing on both Amazon and Smashwords.

After I published all my previously published short stories as reprint ebooks, I started publishing original ebooks from my short stories and essays. I now make more money selling ebooks than I do in first serial publication sales. Always nice to have a predictable - and growing - income stream.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
For a third-grade class project, I wrote a story by drawing pictures in crayon to illustrate each page, assembled a book from folded sheets of construction paper, tell the story for each page that the teacher typed out as a line of text, cut everything out and paste into the book.

My story was about a goldfish being chased by a baby whale that gets stuck inside a cave, the goldfish gets the mother whale, and baby whale got rescued without eating the goldfish.

This was a very magical moment. I fell in loved with creating a short story and making a book. Years later I'm able to do both by creating short stories and making ebooks for others to read.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find C.D. Reimer online


Where to buy in print


Books

A Late Night Tech Job (A Short Story)
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 4,380. Language: American English. Published: April 19, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Urban, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
An experienced contractor runs the gauntlet for a late night tech job at a financial institution in the heart of Silicon Valley, getting past the trigger-happy security guard, dealing with younger co-workers who expect to get paid fabulous money for doing nothing, and saving a desperate project manager when everything goes wrong. (A 4,190-word short story.)
A Sorrow River Runs Through Here (A Trio of Short Stories)
Series: A Trio of Short Stories. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 4,360. Language: American English. Published: April 5, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Urban, Fiction » Literary collections » American / General
A trio of short stories about the sorrows of family life, featuring "Walking Into The Night," "The Hungry Red Devil" and "The Unfaithful Camera."
Travelers Among Strange Worlds (A Trio of Short Stories)
Series: A Trio of Short Stories. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 4,340. Language: American English. Published: March 8, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
(4.00)
A trio of short stories about traveling to strange worlds, featuring "Silent Observers," "The Kitterun Five Tourist Trap" and "The Wizards of Flushington."
Reaching For The Heavens (A Trio of Short Stories)
Series: A Trio of Short Stories. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 3,620. Language: American English. Published: February 8, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Christian » Short stories, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00)
A trio of short stories about spiritual faith in uncertain times, featuring "A Leap of Faith," "The Devil Comes A-Collecting" and "Saved By The Bell".
Sunday In The Park With Dawei (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,450. Language: English. Published: May 26, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » General, Fiction » Erotica » Sci-Fi Erotica
(4.00)
After responding to the personal ad on Andyslist to make out on a park bench in Golden Gate Park on a bright Sunday afternoon, the straight-laced Sasha finds her Victorian dress unbuttoned and her chastity belt cut away by the free-spirited Dawei to learn why androids are sexually deviant in the future. (A 5,040-word short story.)
The Giggling Mongoose: Scarlet Hearts (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,940. Language: American English. Published: April 30, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General
After confronting a prominent attorney with three young sweet things for not leaving a generous tip, Charles Goodwin, the cannibalistic owner of The Giggling Mongoose, fumes at not being able to teach the old goat a lesson in restaurant manners until the scorned wife makes him an offer he can't refuse. (A 5,530-word short story.)
The Apple Store Job Fair (Essay)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,880. Language: American English. Published: March 31, 2013. Categories: Nonfiction » Business & Economics » Careers / job hunting
(5.00)
If you're ever invited to attend the Apple Store Job Fair at the Cupertino headquarters, don't drink the water. The employees pushing the cold bottles of water are store managers. If you find yourself with an urgent need to urinate during the two-hour presentation and activity session, don't use the restroom. You will piss away your job interview if you do. (A 8,300-word personal essay.)
Godspeed With Minister Ruth (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,750. Language: American English. Published: January 12, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Christian » Contemporary, Fiction » Gay & lesbian fiction » General
A minister and her unemployed driver argue about the spiritual consequences of driving in the fast lane to get to a church meeting in San Francisco on time while running late in rush hour traffic in Silicon Valley. (A 2,340-word short story.)
The Lunch Box (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,650. Language: American English. Published: September 1, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General
Little Suzy and her dog, Spot, are trap inside the detached garage on her late grandfather's ranch in Morgan Hill during a fierce thunderstorm with an unspeakable horror from inside a handcrafted lunch box that hungers for revenge against her family. (A 4,000-word short story.)
Some Bad Decisions (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,130. Language: American English. Published: April 1, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal, Fiction » Horror » General
As Claude prepares his surgical instruments for Plain Jane, a petite prostitute he brought back to his motel room, she unnerves him with her cravings for alcohol, incidents that belies her plain appearance, and knowledge of the Las Vegas serial killer. Naked underneath a ceiling mirror that exposes all, the wild and passionate sex of a one-night stand begins. (A 3,730-word short story.)
A Misplaced Stick (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,910. Language: American English. Published: March 24, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General
After his uncle disappears into the forest with a bucket of lard in hand, Little Billy and his grandfather tracks him down to an isolated area of the family ranch. Along the way he learns about the birds and the bees, what being a girl-crazy teenager meant to his father and uncle, and the dangers of putting his stick into the larded knothole of a tree. (A 2,515-word short story.)
Let Me Be Your Spook (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,090. Language: American English. Published: March 11, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Christian » Mystery & detective, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Spies & espionage
As their respective dates wander off for refreshments and then the dance floor, George, a low-level C.I.A. analyst from San Francisco, and Gracie, a medieval history student at Stanford University, compare notes on why their dates conspired against church rules to see each other at a wedding reception in the manure capital of California. (A 1,700-word short story.)
The Devil's Advocates (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,750. Language: American English. Published: February 10, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Horror » Occult
John Wormwood, a veteran news reporter for The Silicon Valley Gazette, witnesses a satanic human sacrifice that opens the bronze doors of the Rodin's The Gates of Hell statue at Stanford University, unleashing the Horseman of Death into the world, and runs for his life with the biggest Pulitzer Prize winning news story of his career. (A 5,340-word short story.)
KGO Radio Jumps The Shark: More News, Less Talk (Essay)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,990. Language: American English. Published: February 3, 2012. Categories: Nonfiction » Engineering, trades, and technology » Radio, Nonfiction » History » North America
After Cumulus Media switched KGO Radio (810AM) from an all talk format to an all news format in December 2011, laying off the best radio talent in the San Francisco Bay Area and throwing away 40 years of broadcasting history in a desperate bid to improve ratings, the lost of familiar voices over the airwaves was heartbreaking. (A 3,660-word essay.)
The Semper Fi Engagement (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 9,360. Language: American English. Published: January 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
After a retired U.S. Marine sergeant evicts a group of pot-smoking, beer-drinking and promiscuous teenagers from the back stairs of his apartment building, they return for cold revenge and dump his dying body inside a shopping cart into the dumpster. His fighting spirit refuses to rest and takes possession of the shopping cart to hunt them down. (A 9,000-word short story.)
Experiencing The Death of Elvis: A Childhood Tragedy (Essay)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,570. Language: American English. Published: December 30, 2011. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Music, Nonfiction » History » North America
On the day that Steve Jobs died in October 2011, I felt an immense sadness not for the technological visionary who just passed away but for another cultural icon who changed the world for an earlier generation. The death of Elvis Presley in 1977 that cast a long shadow over my childhood, as my mother loved him more than either my father or myself. (A 3,230-word essay.)
Death At A Hells Angels Funeral (An Essay)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,080. Language: American English. Published: December 18, 2011. Categories: Nonfiction » Politics and Current Affairs » History, Nonfiction » History » North America
With hundreds of police officers lining the street across from the cemetery on one side, and 3,000 Hells Angels attending a funeral and a shooting at the same service inside the cemetery, the resulting traffic jam between the two sides made for an interesting Saturday afternoon on October 15, 2011. (A 3,730-word essay.)
Dead Enders (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,320. Language: American English. Published: September 3, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General
Claudia and her three guy friends get more than they bargain for when they pick up the mysterious girl in white hitchhiking on the I-5 in Southern California. Their late night road trip to Mexico takes an unexpected detour when a deadly secret is revealed. (A 4,975-word short story.)
The Nowhere October Surprise (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,960. Language: American English. Published: April 12, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Spies & espionage
A bored intern at the U.S. Department of State mail room takes home mis-routed diplomatic letters to steam off the colorful stamps for her collection, starting a war with an obscure island nation of Nowhere in the South Pacific during the 2008 presidential election. (A 5,560-word short story).
The Bomb Hole Incident (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,460. Language: American English. Published: April 3, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Humor
On the last day of summer before their junior year in high school, two boys finish blasting illegal fireworks inside a deep bomb hole in the front yard. That annoys the lady across the street like nothing else. When a police cruiser does a slow crawl down the street, they sit on top of the bomb hole while the lit fuse works its way to the final big explosion. (A 2,050-word short story.)
The Pot Washer's New Magic Trick (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,610. Language: American English. Published: April 2, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
After Alejandro the waiter performs a new magic trick that humiliates him in front of the whole kitchen, Johnny the pot washer comes up with a new magic trick of his own to serve up a cold dish of revenge. (A 2,190-word short story.)
Paying Taxes, American Style (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,240. Language: American English. Published: April 2, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Urban, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
With 15 minutes left on the clock until the county courthouse closes for the weekend, Leticia was all alone at the front desk, deep into a bodice-ripper paperback and hoping that no one walks in at the last minute. As fate would have it, an old man walks through the door wanting to pay his tax bill. In pennies. (A 1,825-word short story.)
Marigolds For A Vampire (Novella)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 22,900. Language: American English. Published: March 30, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Horror » General, Fiction » Horror » Crime
Jeremiah Smithfield, a vampire hunter who spent a lifetime driving the vampires into extinction, returns home to attend the funeral of his former partner. The angry widow tries to kill him with a machete. A homicide detective is investigating a vampiric serial killer. A mysterious girl in white reveals a family secret. He struggles with the living and undead to preserve his dying legacy.
The Cabbage Patch Doll Fight: A Christmas Shopping Tale (Essay)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 1,310. Language: American English. Published: December 19, 2010. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion and Spirituality » Holidays / Christmas & Advent, Nonfiction » Biography » Personal memoir
Have you ever wondered how far a grandmother would go to get the hottest Christmas toy for her baby granddaughter? I never did until I witnessed how desperate my mother was to get a Cabbage Patch doll in the early 1980's. A fist-punching brawl between mothers and grandmothers at Toy "R" Us that forever changed my childhood. (A 950-word essay.)
The World's Best Coffee (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 1,440. Language: American English. Published: November 11, 2010. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » General, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Short Stories
(5.00)
Mark has never had a problem walking out of a crowded coffee shop without ever paying for the world's best coffee. The barista always made another one. As he savors the first sip of his illicit brew, Georgia is right behind him and she wants her coffee back. (A 1,025-word short story.)
The Uninvited Spook (Short Story)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 1,610. Language: American English. Published: November 9, 2010. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » General, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Spies & espionage
(3.00)
As three veteran spymasters discuss the future of a senior spymaster running late for his own surprise birthday party, the uninvited spook across the street listens in and disagrees with every word they say. (A 1,000-word short story.)

C.D. Reimer's tag cloud

99er    adultery    adventure    aids conspiracy    aliens    american    android    apocalypse    apple store    bees    birds    bomb    california    cannibalism    child    childhood    children    christmas and family    chupacabra    church    civics    coffee    coffee barista    coffee shop    cold war    college    coming of age    communists    computers    conspiracy    contractor    cop    couple    courthouse    crime    death    democrat    deviant erotica    devil    dog    dolls    elvis presley    erotica    essay    evil    faith    family    fantasy    father    fbi    financial system    ghost    girl    god    great recession    hells angels    high tech    hoarding    holiday    holidays    homicide    horror    indian    job fair    job interview    job search    kitchen    kremlin    las vegas    lawyers    leprechaun    lesbian    manager    mexico    ministry    miracles    monster    mother    motorcycles    murder    networks    novella    outlaws    park bench    political    politics    pot washer    prostitute    psychological horror    radio    religion    republican    resturant foods    retirement    road trip    san francisco bay area    satan    science fiction    serial killer    sex    shopping    shopping cart    short stories    short story    silicon valley    sin    spies    spook    steve jobs    succubus    talk show    taxes    technology    teenagers    terrorism    theft    tourist trap    trickster    valentines day    vampires    waiter    war    west    witches    wmd