Ted Groisht


Edward Groisht lives hundreds of feet underground and only comes to the surface to shamelessly self-publish his writings, which were expelled in fits of derangement, having suffered from vitamin-D deficiency for most of his life. He hopes you enjoy his writings and that you never, under any circumstances, try to make conversation with him. (If you can find him, that is.) The author will now return to his dwelling where he will pray for those who fail to grasp the literary significance and importance of his work.

Where to find Ted Groisht online


Sports of the Cockatoo
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 19,210. Language: English. Published: August 17, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Themes & motifs » Spiritual & metaphysical, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Two monks... One east... Half a game of baseball. This is Sports of the Cockatoo. Explore the Plain of Horizons. Find solace in the Forest Graveyard. Gather your wits at the Glowing Pine Grove. Caress the bark of the dragon tree. Find yourself inside a quiet whale. This is Sports of the Cockatoo.
I Am Unemployed
Price: $5.00 USD. Words: 21,970. Language: English. Published: December 13, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Ah the unemployed life...going to the job centre; investigating the strange sounds your house makes; trawling the internet for evidence that unicorns exist; wrestling with your teddy bear, Steven...In this book of essays, comprehensive lists, draft CVs, anecdote(s), a story, a poem and a haiku, Ted Groisht delves into the malnourished belly of purposelessness that is life without a purpose.

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