Tosin Ojumu

Biography

Hello, my name is Tosin and for many years I have sat down and thought through questions about how to have an outstandingly successful marriage, and what I need to do before I get married to best ensure that successful marriage. Over the next few weeks and months I aim to publish a new ebook everyday from my blog and relationship series "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie." Visit my blog address listed here to see the full list of ebooks as well as video excerpts for each ebook :)

Where to find Tosin Ojumu online


Books

A Story That Needs to Be Told
Price: Free! Words: 3,510. Language: English. Published: August 18, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Personal Growth
Just a couple of days ago I felt the Spirit of God chastising me on this subject in this gentle but firm way, and it truly struck home. One of the consequences of being so busy recently with work is that I have truly been struggling to find time to commune with God. My times of prayer have felt more like I've talking at God rather than truly engaging in spiritual intimacy with Him.
A Story That Needs to Be Told - Postscript
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 14,730. Language: British English. Published: August 18, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Dating
I set a precedent for myself of giving an absolute one thousand percent in various relationships. Throughout my writings on my blogs I will often say about different interactions I’ve had with different people, (not only in potentially romantic contexts): “I gave a thousand percent.” I really do mean a thousand percent, and it was in this one incident with this one man that I first set this...
Marrying My Best Friend
Price: Free! Words: 1,620. Language: English. Published: August 11, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Clean & wholesome, Fiction » Christian » Short stories
"You look so handsome!" I volunteered in a carefree way. He did look handsome, of course, he always looked handsome, but every man looks especially good on his wedding day – and apparently this was true even on a fake wedding day. I was a little surprised by just how much attention to detail he had applied to our little joke. I mean - brand new shoes - seriously?!
Dear Mr Huggie-Wuggie...I Wanna Be Your Best Friend!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 13,980. Language: British English. Published: August 10, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
So yeah, I wanna be your best friend! I wanna be there for you. I'd love to just go places with you all the time! I'd love to walk around arm in arm with you all the time, not even as a romantic thing but more as a friendship thing. The thing about talking about "love" is that it confuses me. All the different aspects and elements and how they work together - I can sometimes find them overwhelming
How to Ask Someone Out
Price: Free! Words: 2,560. Language: English. Published: August 4, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
This is why experience has taught me that deeply knowing and caring for one another is the right context for a relationship: perhaps above all, because in your pre-romantic interaction, trust has already had a chance to build up between you: you know one another really well, you can vouch for one another; each party trusts that the other person ultimately has their own best interests at heart.
How to Turn Someone Down
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 17,310. Language: British English. Published: August 3, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
So the main point of this post is to communicate that no matter what, you should act with sensitivity towards the feelings of the person who asked you out. I guess I could also talk about the times I have failed to be sufficiently sensitive when being asked out! Sensitivity and gentleness are absolutely key because someone might have had to grab their courage in both hands to actually ask you out
Body, Soul and Spirit!
Price: Free! Words: 2,000. Language: English. Published: July 29, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...Well one day it occurred to me that if we as humans are composed of body, soul (or mind, will, intellect, creativity, emotions) and spirit, and if as a couple you are to be "one flesh", then perhaps a deep and true love between a husband and wife would also reflect those three elements, that as a couple you would be deeply bound together and united in these three aspects..."
Blaming My Parents For Everything!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 14,780. Language: English. Published: July 29, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
I was recently reading a post on another blog written by someone from a similar cultural background to mine. It was about being single as a Nigerian. I could identify so strongly with so much of what she said. One particular line made me laugh out so loud: “These are the same people who all but glued a note to my forehead saying “no boys allowed” all through my 16 years of school.”
Marriage as a Performance Art
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 14,170. Language: English. Published: July 29, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
I was recently reading an article by another relationship columnist, about 5 reasons that marriage does not work anymore. All the reasons that he gave were very cogent, however it was the final reason that struck me in particular, especially because I write this blog, and because of my own activity on social media...he says that social media makes it very easy to throw out privacy...
Talking About Vision
Price: Free! Words: 1,060. Language: British English. Published: July 28, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...I love the idea of establishing mutual goals to work towards from the outset. I also love the idea of booking a retreat with your spouse, minus the kids, to go off and talk through these areas, and see how you are doing within the marriage. I guess it would also give both spouses the chance to air issues on their heart..."
Christian Romantic Fiction - The Heroes!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 2,160. Language: British English. Published: July 27, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...I was asking myself: would the heroes (and heroines) of these stories actually make good spouses - in real life, that is? Obviously the women who write these stories (and it is overwhelmingly women, of course - or men who work with female pennames and post up photos of their wives as their author photos!) - anyway these people will of course write their stories to give their characters..."
Sexual Purity: Homosexuality
Price: Free! Words: 2,160. Language: British English. Published: July 21, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
1. No matter what the struggle is, God IS bigger. God is bigger than our sexuality, He is bigger than our sexual failings, He is bigger than the battles that we face. This means that any time we feel tempted to feel ovewhelmed, that this thing is bigger than us...we can hold on to the assurance that it cannot be bigger than God. 2. No matter what the struggle is, there MUST be a solution...
How Women Make Themselves Cheap
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 12,490. Language: British English. Published: July 15, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...Be fussy ladies! Seriously, I cannot encourage you too much to be extremely fussy in your standards regarding his character. Look for someone who tells the truth, to himself, and to others. Look for someone who acknowledges his own faults, and apologises, without necessarily waiting for you to point out what he has done wrong. Sometimes people innocently don't know..."
A Business-Minded Spouse as a Business Investment
Price: Free! Words: 1,410. Language: English. Published: July 13, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...This post is not about selfishly going out to get married just for the sake of pushing forward in business life and dreams. I know many people do that. For instance some people get married at least in part for the sake of having a free personal assistant, housekeeper, cook, cleaner etc. I am not talking about that here in this post. Rather I am talking about why two ambitious people..."
Welcome to the Friendzone!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 13,340. Language: British English. Published: July 5, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...The friendzone is when you know someone who could feasibly be a romantic partner, but for whatever reason, one of you says "Let's just be friends!" Apparently, putting someone in the friendzone is universally disliked, however, I gotta say, I LOVE the friendzone! I like putting my friends in the friendzone and I like being put in the friendzone myself, as long as everyone is being sincere..."
The Interaction Between Personality and Character
Price: Free! Words: 2,140. Language: British English. Published: June 30, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...Character is made up of things like: someone's commitment to honesty, to telling the truth, to integrity, to treating other people with courtesy and dignity. Character also includes things like determination to persevere through hard times, to keep doing what is right, even if this seems impossible. Perhaps someone's character can be defined then by their determination to do what is right..."
So Many Ways to Have a Great Marriage… and Yet…
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 11,250. Language: British English. Published: June 28, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...The point though, of course, is that it is so easy to say this before you get married. I considered my own life, and some of my own various interactions with people – the successful interactions, as well as the not so successful interactions. I asked myself – what can these past examples teach me about my own real tendencies to be expressed in a marriage..."
Where Does True Concern Come From?
Price: Free! Words: 3,150. Language: British English. Published: June 28, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...This is the astonishing thing I have realised: without knowing I was doing it, I was measuring the amount of effort and sacrifice it would cost me to be truly concerned about him, to invest my prayers into his life, against his true character as a person, and I unconsciously decided that he was not worth it. It is not about the worth that he might have brought to my own life..."
The Difference Between "Friendly" And "Friendship"
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 12,400. Language: British English. Published: June 20, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...As Christians, I’ve recently come to see that association is EVERYTHING. Seriously. This isn’t anything weird or complex. When I say “association”, I simply mean the people we spend time with, the people we hang around with. The people we choose to spend time with can either make or break our lives – no kidding..."
What is Friendship?
Price: Free! Words: 2,550. Language: British English. Published: June 16, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...The likelihood is that we share different values with different people to different extents. Stronger friendships will be possible with people who share the same central values, and who place the same emphases on these values...it is still possible to be friends with someone whose outlook in life is quite different, it is just that the friendship will naturally not have the same potential..."
How Do I Know If He's My Friend?!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 17,270. Language: British English. Published: June 9, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“…However, this is my big challenge, as always. When you are strongly attracted to someone, and you have started dating them, then will you not emulate all of these things while you are dating, even if it is not fully sincere? Will you not talk endlessly about things, demonstrate care, concern and generosity for and to one another? Will you not go out of your way to support his interests..."
All About Two Years
Price: Free! Words: 3,140. Language: British English. Published: June 9, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… When discussing with my sister, she made a very obvious point. Namely this: who after all, can afford to wait for two years, checking someone out, in case they might be suitable? Well this is the thing. If you’re in a church, and there are various eligible singles, then it’s not as if you would check one person out exclusively for two years, then angrily cross them off your list..."
Expecting Perfect Behaviour from Imperfect People
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 17,390. Language: British English. Published: June 3, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...we know that the people we marry are not perfect when we marry them and will not become perfect over the course of our marriages. And yet for our marriages to survive, our spouses have to consistently make the right choices when faced with these marital “make or break” challenges, as we also will need to make the right choices when we are equally faced with our own challenges..."
The Difference Between Love and Lust
Price: Free! Words: 2,330. Language: British English. Published: June 2, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Relationships, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Dating
“… Lust in the sexual sense is when you see someone, and you are attracted to their physical attributes, and you want to use them only to gratify your own sexual desires, without any thought of genuinely serving them according to their own real needs. Or lust is when the primary reason for entering the relationship is the hope of how the other party will satisfy you sexually..."
Rethinking "Lost Marriage Years"
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 16,960. Language: British English. Published: May 27, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...So when we think of our age in terms of years of potential marriage missed, because marriage is a positive thing, it is natural to think of these “wasted years” in terms of only the highest and most positive expectations, if our marriages had been ecstatically happy and if they had in every way corresponded to the dreams that we would have now..."
Playing Proactive Versus Playing Hard to Get
Price: Free! Words: 4,390. Language: British English. Published: May 26, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Relationships, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Dating
"...This is why you need to know this about me – when the right guy comes along, I will eagerly agree and try to express my own interest. However, for me, most guys are emphatically not right – and never will be. When I say I am not interested, please believe me that that is exactly what I mean. I am not trying to encourage you to persist in some elaborate game of conquest..."
Excellent Wife Material?
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 15,080. Language: British English. Published: May 20, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… There was once this incident in the somewhat distant past where I referred to myself as bad wife material. Actually that “bad wife material” incident was one of the things that helped me learn how to be honest about myself and yet positive as I aim to be on this blog, and in a way missteps like that were necessary to get to some of the things that I now understand..."
Some Thoughts on Sexual Temptation
Price: Free! Words: 3,280. Language: British English. Published: May 19, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… By cultivating these dreams it is as if our hearts continue to yearn for perfect character and perfect communication as if we still lived in a perfect world. However, the point is that we don’t live in a perfect world and we never will...This is why these thoughts are dangerous – because they are so insistent, yet they make us yearn for something we can never have..."
Feelings of Inadequacy
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 12,770. Language: British English. Published: May 13, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...There are some of my insecurities that I can deal with, that do concern actual weaknesses in my life. What I now know, is that where I have let myself become convinced that “I cannot do it”, this is almost invariably a lie. What happens a lot is that other people suggest to you that you are inadequate in x area, and then more and more people say it, and you start to believe it..."
Why the Time Before Your Marriage Can Be the Most Powerful Part of Your Marriage
Price: Free! Words: 1,770. Language: British English. Published: May 12, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"... I believe that the most powerful and effective time to work on your marriage is before you actually get married, which is the point at which things get “set in stone”. I believe that before you get married, you have the chance to define what you want from your marriage, and take the steps to sow the seeds for these things. However, you can always walk away, or rethink your choice..."..
Everybody Changes!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 11,580. Language: British English. Published: May 6, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… OK, let’s assume then that I have come across someone who is striving after God as much as he can, with his whole heart. Even if I could see into the future and confirm that he will keep getting better and better, improving his character, loving both his God and his wife more and more passionately, the fact is that as a person he will still certainly change. Not necessarily for the worse..."
Ditching the Toxic "Marriage Maths" Mentality
Price: Free! Words: 2,080. Language: English. Published: May 5, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...The “marriage maths" mentality is simply the understanding/belief that there are not enough good marital partners to go around. So when you come across someone who is maybe OK at best in terms of character, but maybe only OK, the temptation is to cling tightly onto them right unto marriage for fear that you will not find anyone else that is of a truly excellent standard..."
When Tosin Went Crazy!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 12,670. Language: English. Published: April 29, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"... I write my relationship thoughts as someone who is very, very human to other people who I know are also human. If ever I say "Take to your heels and run!", it's not because I don't understand the way these feelings things work. Please trust me, I do, as much as anyone else who has ever had a crazy crush. And I also think, that sometimes reading my blog you would be forgiven for thinking..."
Embracing The Wait
Price: Free! Words: 2,180. Language: British English. Published: April 28, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"...On the whole, I feel quite empowered and confident about many issues regarding “relationships” (or rather “not-yet-relationships”), and my approaches to them, and I feel extremely confident that these approaches will produce good results.Yet in some ways I can still find myself getting very frustrated..."
Characteristic 1 Explored - All for Jesus
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 12,570. Language: British English. Published: April 22, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“…So I want a husband who strives to know God, who cries out for His voice, who pursues intimacy with Him as the most desperate yearning of his life; who is not only a servant but also a son of God. I think that this is the first and foremost thing in life. Honestly, I have put other aspects of my faith first. This might sound strange, as in a way it is all one and the same thing..."
Thank You for Your Prayers!
Price: Free! Words: 1,390. Language: British English. Published: April 21, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… I always think to myself that if someone does not pray for themselves, then they will not pray for you – or they will not be able to sustain it. I am inclined to think that it is an individual rather than a number of people because I just don’t think I know so many truly serious Christians. And why would a number of people all randomly start praying for me, at the same time...?"
Positive Expectations!
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 13,840. Language: British English. Published: April 15, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“…The fact is that marriage is beautiful, or should be! I know this! It is thinking about it in this way that makes me want to get married at all! Thoughts of sincere communication, honesty, tenderness, love and so much passionate hand-holding make this immensely attractive. Also, being there for one another, and knowing that even through disagreements and episodes of friction..."
What if I Never Get Married?
Price: Free! Words: 2,250. Language: British English. Published: April 14, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage
"... OK, so having said that I don't respect the idea of dropping everything to find a mate as early as possible, I definitely understand why women do this. OK, I may not be able to speak for all women, but if I were ever to adopt such behaviour, it would be so that I knew where I was in life, so that I would not have to run the risk of making big investments into big dreams..."
Students of Marriage
Price: $1.00 USD. Words: 10,120. Language: English. Published: April 8, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
“… I refuse to accept that having an excellent marriage is simply a matter of luck, I believe that there HAVE to be wise and knowledgeable steps that you could take to maximise your chances of marital success. By success I don’t just mean a marriage that manages to avoid break-up, but rather one that is a true union built and nurtured on love, where the parties grow stronger and stronger..."
Why This is Such a Big Deal for Me
Price: Free! Words: 1,330. Language: Commonwealth English. Published: April 7, 2019. Categories: Nonfiction » Religion & Spirituality » Christian Life / Love & Marriage, Nonfiction » Relationships & Family » Marriage
"Another reason why for me this whole issue is so crucial is because I also like to think of myself as being quite ambitious. I want to excel in different aspects of life. However, I also want to be married. Concerning my ambitions, I’ve already invested a lot, made a lot of sacrifices in different ways and I dream of greatness. Yet I know that this can be quite a difficult balance..."

Tosin Ojumu's tag cloud

adultery    ambitious    asking someone out    awkwardness    beautiful    best friends    business    care    character    cheating    christian feminism    christian relationships    compatibility    concern    dating    dating advice    desire    falling in love    fantasies    feminist    friendliness    friendship    friendships    friendzone    gay    gentleness    gods will    gratitude    growing apart    homosexuality    i love you    imperfect    insecurities    intercession    irrational women    knowing god    knowing the will of god    lesbian    london    loneliness    love    love languages    love versus lust    lust    marital advice    marital character    marital communication    marital criteria    marital foundation    marital love    marital romance    marital unity    marriage    marriage criteria    marriage goals    marriage made in heaven    marrying my best friend    marrying out    negativity    noones perfect    obsession    one flesh    parental expectations    personality    personality versus character    playing hard to get    pornography    positivity    prayer    prayers    pursuing a relationship    relationship schedule    romantic fiction    sexual purity    short story    shyness    singleness    social media    submission    the will of god    true care    true love    turning someone down    vision    waiting    waiting for gods best    wedding day   

Smashwords book reviews by Tosin Ojumu

  • The Clever Miss Jancy on May 03, 2019

    I love this story because it is Christian and feminist and romantic, and it literally made me laugh out loud in various places - and cry some tears too, I confess! I can't believe it was originally written over a hundred years ago. There were times it did get a bit overly preachy which might be a bit wearing for 21st century tastes. And I also struggled at times with the constant present tense. Other than that though, a great read, funny, and I loved the development of everything between the the two central characters, and the adorable supporting cast of younger siblings!