Interview with Simon Haynes

Published 2018-06-30.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
Back in 1999 I submitted a manuscript to several publishers, one after another, and I couldn't believe how long it was taking to hear back. (I'm writing this in 2018, and one of those publishers still hasn't responded!)
So, in 2000 I thought "stuff this, I'm not wasting my life waiting around." I wrote a piece of software called yBook, which displayed electronic books on-screen with properly formatted pages that turned when you clicked them. After yBook was in general use, I released my first novel in ebook format.
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
Apart from a short experiment where one of my series was exclusive to a particular retailer, I've always gone wide with my books. As a teenager I remember the frustration when some new game was only released for a particular computer, or console, and I believe keen readers feel the same when they can't read their favourite authors on a given device.
Authors shouldn't stick their work behind artificial walls.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
"Having written".
Seriously, though, releasing a new novel into the wild after months of hard work out of the spotlight is an awesome feeling. In the past I worried that THIS book would be the one where people finally realised I was a useless author, and they'd leave a bunch of one star reviews.
However, after 18 novels it still hasn't happened, and I've slowly come to realise I might actually be a decent writer.
What do your fans mean to you?
Tons! There's this one guy in particular who wrote to me maybe every 8 months between 2014 and 2017, when I took a lengthy break from writing. He wasn't demanding, he just asked if I was writing anything.
Now I'm writing novels faster than he can read them ... I take my revenge however I can get it ;-)
What are you working on next?
A Portion of Dragon and Chips. It's Game of Thrones crossed with Discworld, although since I've only read one Discworld novel, the first person who insists I'm writing a Terry Pratchett knock-off will be added to book two as a character and promptly jailed. Or eaten by a giant turtle.

(I've had this with the Hal Spacejock series. Even though I wrote the first four novels before reading Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, or watching a single episode of the Red Dwarf TV show, people still leave reviews claiming it's copying something or other. Yes, it has a smart robot, a dodgy space pilot and a snarky computer, but they're all based on people I know!)
Who are your favorite authors?
A voracious, life-long reader, my influences include Arthur C. Clarke, William F. Temple, C.S. Forester, C.S. Lewis, W.E. Johns, George G. Gilman, James A. Michener, Andrew M. Greeley, J.E. MacDonell, P.G. Wodehouse and J.R.R. Tolkien.

I also enjoy works by authors without initials, such as Agatha Christie, Enid Blyton, James Herriot, Victor Canning, Tom Holt, Desmond Bagley, Elisabeth Beresford, Michael Bond, Anthony Buckeridge, Richmal Crompton, James Clavell, Roald Dahl, Len Deighton, Charles Dickens, Arthur Conan Doyle, Lynn Flewelling, Dick Francis, Adam Hall, Alexander Kent/Douglas Reeman, Robert Ludlum, Alistair MacLean, Dudley Pope, Arthur Ransome, Malcolm Saville, Tom Sharpe, Showell Styles and many more.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
Who says I get out of bed?
Okay, truth time: I go to bed at 4am and get up around noon. I work best in the hours between 9pm and 3am, when there's no chance of phone calls, knocks on the door, postal deliveries or other interruptions.
I work with my brain. If I'm not writing novels I'm writing computer software, and once I'm in full flight I have a brain packed with complex information which has to find its way into the computer. One interruption can cost me an hour or more, and I've long since learned not to bother until I can work undisturbed.
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
Computer programming, PC gaming, woodwork and carpentry, renovating houses, bike riding for exercise, board gaming with friends, reading, drawing (mostly digital art). Loads of other stuff too.
I also design my own book covers, and I'm on top of promos and ads and newsletter swaps and so on.
How do you discover the ebooks you read?
Until a year ago I had about 3000 paperbacks in my house, packed into shelves I built in the hallways and bedrooms. One day I decided to get rid of them all, apart from a small collection of signed copies and books which held memories for one reason or another.
As a kid I hoarded books because I was always terrified of having nothing to read. Now, books are one or two mouseclicks away, 24/7.
As for discovery, I avoid the genres I write in. In fact, I mostly read non-fiction, and these are paperbacks given to me by others!
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
Yes, it was set in WW2, and a squadron of spitfires took off from an airfield and downed a number of enemy planes before returning and landing successfully.

I was six years old at the time. I can still remember showing it to my mum like it was yesterday.
What is your writing process?
I wrote a book detailing it!
Basically, I come up with a rough plot idea, write a couple of chapters, then come up with a comprehensive plot outline before sitting down and writing the whole novel.
Ironically, the novel I'm working on now is the first since I released How to Write a Novel, and I'm ignoring all of my own advice.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
I was a big fan of the Famous Five, and the Borrowers. I don't remember any of the picture books kids are usually given to read, but once I got into novels they really began to have an effect.
How do you approach cover design?
If it's a series book, I'm limited to imitating the style of the previous titles. With a new series I try to come up with a design that will unify all the books in the series.
For years I avoided the tired old trope of 'spaceships on the cover' for my science fiction novels, instead showing the characters, but if you want to sell you just have to conform to reader expectations.
But how do you convey humour with a spaceship on the cover? And how do you say - yes, it's funny, and satirical, but there's also a real plot, and danger, and hard science, and social commentary?
So, after all these years I've stopped trying to sell the funny, and instead I'm selling the scifi. Let readers discover the humour for themselves.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
High Citadel by Desmond Bagley - overwhelming odds, ordinary people in an extraordinary situation.
God Game by Andrew M. Greeley - early days of PC gaming, fantasy world crossover, incredible characters.
Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome - Adults letting kids get on with things, unsupervised.
Foundation by Isaac Asimov - my first taste of Science Fiction.
Martin Magnus, Planet Rover by William F. Temple - 1950's science fiction, now available in ebook after I helped the author's daughter re-release the titles.
What do you read for pleasure?
Mostly non-fiction.
What is your e-reading device of choice?
I have a Kindle 2 which is about to undergo a battery transplant. Works fine, I just wish the case wasn't stark white because it detracts from the reading experience. (Makes the page seem dull and grey.)
I really want a newer Kindle, but it can wait. If you want to be a full time author you learn not to spend any money, ever.
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
Newsletter swaps, Facebook and Bookbub CPC ads, paid promotions with ENT, Robin Reads, Bookcave and similar.
Describe your desk
Fairly small, with three 1920x1200 24" monitors facing me in an arc. Web pages and netflix/VLC on the left, WIP in the centre (programming or writing), Steam chat and temporary windows on the right.

I also run SalesScanner, which is a free piece of software I wrote to analyse sales figures from Smashwords, KDP, Createspace and Google Play. When I download a report from any of those sites, it scans the contents and updates my daily/weekly figures in realtime. It's nice to know what I've sold, and where.
Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
I was born in England in the late sixties, moved to Spain in the mid seventies and moved again, to Australia, in the mid-eighties. All these changes led to a whirlwind of schools and new friends of many nationalities, which I believe gave me a very broad view of the world.
As for influences, I think experiencing so many different environments has enriched my writing.
When did you first start writing?
I started on my first novel at age 26, but didn't finish it until five years later. Before that, I didn't believe I had anything to say to the vast majority of book buyers and readers, since they'd be older, wiser and more experienced than me.
What's the story behind your latest book?
Oh boy. On the 1st of April 2018, I posted a mock-up book cover for a 'new novel' called 'A Game of Clunks'. In it, the robot from my main SF series ends up in a Game-of-Thrones environment. It had a dig on the cover about scifi writers who discovered fantasy paid better, and the tagline was 'A pair of nuts on the throne'.
Well, my facebook and twitter folllowers really took to it, and by the end of the day I was promising to write it. I 'only' had three other novels and a non-fiction title to write first, but since they're all done and published I really am writing the fantasy knock-off. (Now called 'A Portion of Dragon and Chips' - robots, silicon, chips ... get it?)
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Latest books by This Author

Frontier
Series: The Secret War. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 69,600. Language: British English. Published: December 27, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Military, Fiction » Science fiction » Space opera
After messing up a live fire exercise, Sam Willet is hauled before the squadron leader for punishment. Her career as a fighter pilot appears to be over before it really began. Then, without warning, the enemy launches a major attack. Against this overwhelming force, every pilot is needed... Sam included. Now is her chance to redeem herself. Now is her chance to fight back.
Zero
Series: Hal Spacejock, Book 0. Price: Free! Words: 35,260. Language: British English. Published: December 24, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure, Fiction » Science fiction » General
Instead of loading cargo into freighters, Hal Spacejock wants to fly them, exploring the galaxy in his very own ship. It seems like an impossible dream, until Hal intervenes in a one-sided fight in the shadow of a battered old freighter...
Dragon and Chips Omnibus One
Price: $7.99 USD. Words: 226,380. Language: British English. Published: June 4, 2019 . Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » General, Fiction » Fantasy » Contemporary
For the first time, get all three books in the first Dragon and Chips trilogy in a single collection. Contains over 210,000 words of fiction. Tasty, fire-breathing dragons. Angry sea serpents. Sea battles, land battles, assassins and more. Get it now! (All three novels are also available in audiobook)
Raiders
Series: The Secret War. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 70,630. Language: British English. Published: May 21, 2019 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Space opera, Fiction » Science fiction » Military
What happens when you're worth more dead than alive? A decorated fighter pilot is lost in combat, and his death is used to inspire waves of fresh recruits. Recruits desperately needed to fight in the long-running war. Sam Willet is one such recruit, but she's different. Different because the missing hero is her brother, and Sam has questions. Questions nobody wants asked...
The Comet Caper
Series: Hal Junior. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 25,580. Language: English. Published: November 20, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction
Space Station Oberon is on high alert, because a comet is about to whizz past the nearby planet of Gyris. All the scientists are preparing for the exciting event, and all the kids are planning on watching. All the kids except Hal Junior, who's been given detention...
A Pair of Nuts on the Throne
Series: Dragon and Chips. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 81,320. Language: English. Published: October 27, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » General, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
Ahh, the Old Kingdom. Come and admire our angry dragons close up. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves. For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday** Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.
Collect One-Two
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 45,070. Language: English. Published: August 24, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
This collection contains a dozen short stories by Simon Haynes Sleight of Hand The Desolator Updown A Piece of the Action Catch of the Day Yard Fail Off Course Billy's Book Loss Leader Fizz! Thonn! Escape Clause
Hal Junior Omnibus One
Price: $7.99 USD. Words: 92,330. Language: English. Published: August 17, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction, Fiction » Children’s books » Readers / Chapter Books
Contains three full-length science fiction novels featuring that outer-space troublemaker, Hal Junior. Three hair-raising adventures, dozens of illustrations, and enough laughs to keep your space kids laughing for hours! Perfect for ages 8-12. Hal Junior novels are also available in paperback editions.
A Butt of Heads
Series: Dragon and Chips. Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 73,750. Language: English. Published: September 30, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Epic, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
Events are unfolding at a breakneck pace in the Old Kingdom! Laugh as your favourite characters spit in the face of danger ... then run for the hills. Admire the verbal jousting and witty swordplay ... or is it the other way round? Giggle as kings and queens lose their heads. And above all ... gasp in astonishment as you learn exactly what Clunk's building in his makeshift workshop.
A Portion of Dragon and Chips
Series: Dragon and Chips. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 73,020. Language: English. Published: August 20, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Epic, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
A manic fantasy sendup featuring tasty dragons and even tastier assassins. Don't miss this laugh of the year! This is the first novel in a three book series. Each book in the series continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three.
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