Lorraine Ray

Biography

Lorraine Ray writes novels and short stories. Born into an old Tucson family, she has carried forward their interest in writing. Her great grandfather was a civilian packer with Gen. George Crook's army and late in life became a familiar pest at the Arizona Historical Society where his autobiographies MY LIFE IN THE WEST and REMINISCENCES AS TOLD TO MRS. KITT are now kept far away from the public. The author of TROMBONES CAN LAUGH and A PHANTOM HERD married an Englishman and has spent many summer vacations with her husband and daughter tramping across the South Downs avoiding sheep droppings. Besides writing, one of her favorite jobs was a two-year stint as a crazy lunch lady.

Smashwords Interview

What's the story behind your latest book?
DASTARDLY was published in February and I have 272 downloads so far. This novel of 60,000 words has been kicking around in my done pile for a long time, but I never got around to editing it. I think the reader will like the character of Vig, the writer of terrible vampire stories, and enjoy his duels with romance writer Marsha. I had a chance to write some of my silly horror story ideas and pretend they were someone else's! TROMBONES CAN LAUGH isn't my latest, but it is based on my older brother's experience substituting as a trombonist in a Shriner band in 1970. A conductor at one performance really had a teeny fake arm. According to my brother, the Shriners in the band were all outrageous drunks, but nice old guys. A clown did not terrorize him. I made that up.
What are you working on next?
I'm writing the first draft of a new comic novel about Hollywood circa 1964. The title is undetermined as of June 2016. A cast of ridiculous characters film a sword and sandal movie (think Steve Reeves) in Calexico, California. The studio making "Hercules Meets the Worm Men from Outer Space" is close to bankruptcy, the director won't get out of bed, and the worm men masks were never made. Somehow all problems are solved and a young man from Indiana named Bobby finds a best friend. My goal is for the book to exceed 100,000 words by Christmas. It's my ode to Hollywood and those crazy he-men/monster movies I used to love.

On a more serious note, I have a small book about child immigrants in the southwest. It probably will be titled WHAT REMAINS OF TEDDY REDBURN, and in it two young children are rescued by a substandard mattress manufacturer and an old O'odham woman. Sounds fun, but I have to finish it!
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Lorraine Ray online


Books

Dastardly
Price: Free! Words: 60,160. Language: English. Published: January 27, 2016. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Romance » General
Obnoxious, impoverished author Marc Viglietti suffers in his job at a museum while he dreams of fame and fortune from the innumerable, ridiculous vampire westerns he can't stop penning. When he takes money from his chief foil, Marsha, a romance author, he believes she has developed a crush on him after years of him babysitting her daughter Bailey. Will Vig learn anything about love and decency?
Phantom Strays
Series: Phantom Roundup. Price: Free! Words: 57,050. Language: English. Published: February 13, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
(1.00)
Were you there when "A Hard Day's Night" opened in America? Remember Wolfman Jack? Hit the streets of a desert town circa the '60s and '70s as the teen siblings from A Phantom Herd go mad for the Beatles, dance to rock and roll, and try to give LSD to a cowboy movie star. A zany, nostalgic look at American life in the southwest.
A Phantom Herd
Series: Phantom Roundup. Price: Free! Words: 100,040. Language: English. Published: February 21, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Nostalgic for a lost America? Was Chester from Gunsmoke your first crush? Visit the desert Southwest circa 1960 as refugees from Indiana and Ohio cope with cacti and tamales, and a family of kids lie and bluster their way through a frightening adult world. A gentle novel full of wonder and beauty. This is the first novel in a two-part series.
Trombones Can Laugh
Price: Free! Words: 52,680. Language: English. Published: September 12, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Teen loner James Sauerbaugh wants nothing more than a chance to get his act together, when the Forces That Be land him in a Shriner band as a substitute. James discovers this band of decrepit drunks play circus screamers flawlessly. An ancient trombonist helps him develop an appreciation of the old coots and their Shriner mission. A touching, fun book that links generations.
Genuine Aboriginal Democracy
Price: Free! Words: 50,410. Language: English. Published: November 9, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00)
An anthology of wonderfully quirky short stories including: Uncertain Trysts, His Faithful Companion, Big Paper Skeleton, Fantasy Artifact, Genuine Aboriginal Democracy, Mother's Woman-Marine Bra, Work Out Your Own Salvation, Consciousness Raising, Metamorphosis of Me, Snake Dance Disaster, and On the Rio Mayo.
Last Days in the Desert
Price: Free! Words: 26,980. Language: English. Published: May 31, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(4.00)
Stacie, Tiffany and Yadira hope to shut down their rental house and get back their security deposit before leaving town, but first they have to fix the gaping hole in the adobe wall and rid themselves of unwanted graduation "presents," both the result of an uproarious final party. This comic co-ed romp will keep you chuckling.
Metamorphosis of Me
Price: Free! Words: 4,650. Language: English. Published: April 19, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
A reclusive man may be flubbing his reentry into society.
Juan and Willy
Price: Free! Words: 28,900. Language: English. Published: March 16, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Who hasn't imagined finding a fortune in gold? Juan and Willy dream big like everyone, however their thinking is somewhat inadequate. After searching for a truck and struggling to babysit an 8-year-old who lives in the house with the gold map, this ridiculous pair blunder into danger at a toxic tailing pond. At least they have each other--as punching bags. A buddy comedy with a duo of dimwits.
Bewitching Earth
Price: Free! Words: 7,230. Language: English. Published: February 3, 2012. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Coming of age
Love for the world, and its many beautiful niches, heals a young girl's heartache after a short affair with an older man.
Maelstrom
Price: Free! Words: 2,440. Language: English. Published: December 22, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Plays & Screenplays
On Christmas Eve a pregnant woman recalls being rescued by a vagrant when she was a child.
Squaw Dresses
Price: Free! Words: 2,910. Language: English. Published: December 16, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
A society maven with a small dress factory uses intimidation to sell her leftover squaw dresses.
The Good Librarian
Price: Free! Words: 4,480. Language: English. Published: December 5, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
An Air Force lieutenant gives his copy of a Walt Whitman book to his sister-in-law for safekeeping during the McCarthy Era, but she refuses to return it.
Consciousness Raising
Price: Free! Words: 5,970. Language: English. Published: November 21, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
A young girl who endures a badgering at a consciousness raising foolishly marries a scolding, caustic husband.
I Want My Own Brain
Price: Free! Words: 22,380. Language: English. Published: November 10, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
When you’ve cracked up like Aunt Helen, what you need is a weekend with an irrepressible child like Stephanie Falls. She’ll remind you of what it means to be truly alive. Stephanie makes a monkey of everyone, including her doting grandparents, but her joy for life unburdens the troubled mind of her aunt. A heart-warming, original tribute to the importance of finding the child inside us all.
Snake Dance Disaster
Price: Free! Words: 7,000. Language: English. Published: October 26, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Two teenage boys participate in a ridiculous Snake Dance enactment at a mansion in 1960s Arizona.
On the Rio Mayo
Price: Free! Words: 5,420. Language: English. Published: October 19, 2011. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Conflicts between a father and son come to a head when an air conditioning repairman named Harry and his son Frank meet a Mayo Indian early one morning at a fishing camp on the Rio Mayo in Sonora, Mexico. This short story takes place shortly after World War Two.

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