Frank Bukowski


Frank Bukowski is currently on his thirteenth life. Previous incarnations included a welder, building labourer, trainee civil engineer, barman, burger flipper, sperm donor, call centre operative, body double for Oliver Reed, marketing assistant, advertising copywriter, studio head and creative director.

Frank studied at the Universities in Brighton, East Anglia, and Queens’ College, Cambridge. Two of those august institutions he tricked into awarding him degrees: a BA in Graphic Design, majoring in illustration, and an MA in Creative Writing, where he was lucky enough to be taught by Malcolm Bradbury and Rose Tremain.

Frank now hides out in Norfolk, UK, where it rains 400 days a year. Since marriage, divorce, and the birth of his son landed like a salvo of missiles in the 90’s, Frank has spent the last two decades helping to raise his kid, who recently graduated with his own BA in History, making Frank the proudest dad on the planet. To keep steam on the table and a roof over their heads, Frank has held down a full-time job for more years than he cares to remember at the hated UK loan-shark company UK Cash Cowboys, where he runs their creative studio. Frank looks after a team of copywriters and designers who churn out oceans of junk mail and advertising. Frank loathes the company and its hideous management team of ruthless corporate cyborgs in human form. He describes working there as a slow death of the soul. He once likened it to a ten year prison stretch for a crime he didn’t do. At weekends he gets out on parole, but Mondays come around all too quick.

Frank’s escape plan involves making it as a writer. For over a decade he’s been tunnelling away in secret, writing poetry and short stories in the scraps of time left over. These finally coalesced into his magnum opus, the 700pp collection Sex on the Brain, which he e-pubbed in the fall of 2012.

Frank writes earthy literary fiction leavened with black humour, aiming for laughter in the dark. His latest book, hot off the virtual press in June 2014, is a dystopian novella called Reality TV. Toying with magic realism, Reality TV parodies our obsessions with fame, celebrity, and trashy reality shows. When he’s not writing or banged up in Cowboys Penitentiary, Frank likes to watch quality television. Mostly stuff about fame, celebrity, and trashy reality shows.

Where to find Frank Bukowski online


The Football Agent
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 25,270. Language: English. Published: April 22, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Sports, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
Rich Dinero is a shark among men. A ruthless football agent who’d kill for money. It’s earned him a champagne lifestyle of fast cars, private jets, and women who never say no. Until now.
Reality TV
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 28,800. Language: English. Published: November 28, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Literature » Literary
Celebrity A-listers go head to head on Humili-ATE, the reality TV cooking show. Add a star footballer, a beautiful Chinese violinist, a dozen convicted murderers and a dysfunctional rapper chef, and you've got the television show from hell. The steaks are high, the starters are late, and there’s something dodgy going down in the restaurant toilets.
The Six Wives of Henry VIII
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 54,800. Language: English. Published: August 28, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Historical » Medieval, Fiction » Historical » United Kingdom
Was Henry VIII one of the greatest English kings ever, or a mass murderer and serial sex-offender with a penchant for pubescent flesh? In this meticulously-researched spoof biography of England’s own Caligula, Frank Bukowski puts the hilarious case for the prosecution.
Sticky Pages
Price: Free! Words: 15,550. Language: English. Published: April 28, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Literature » Literary, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Randy Bloemfontaine hates the internet. The way it's taken over his life. He hates his boss, his company, his job writing bullshit finance ads that suck. He's also got a sex problem. He can't stop thinking about it. When his boss sends him on an internet conference packed with corporate eye-candy, and asks him to write a bunch of internet ads while he's there, things threaten to get very sticky.
Sex on the Brain
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 182,140. Language: English. Published: November 20, 2012. Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
No one writes about sex like Frank Bukowski. Where erotica leaves nothing to the imagination, Bukowski leaves everything. This thought-provoking, imaginative and often hilarious collection of poems and stories examines what it means to be alive in the promiscuous 21st Century. It lifts the lid and peers into the darkness within us all. Get the tissues ready, you’ll be laughing all the way.