Hermann Observer


Dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, Hermann Observer (aka Clarsonimus Maximus) is a mean, angry, cynical and nasty old expatriate American [place favorite expletive here] who observes the world around him in quiet desperation.

Smashwords Interview

Who are your favorite authors?
They change. Although I've never met an author I didn't like (this is probably because I've never actually met an author). At the moment I'll go with Philip K. Dick, Hunter S. Thompson and Alfred E. Neuman. You know, guys like that.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
I don't have five favorite books. I have one favorite book. It is always the one I am currently reading (if it wasn't my favorite book I wouldn't be reading it). I can give you five random favorite books of mine from the past if you would like, however.
The Man in the High Castle. Why? The dystopian schizophrenia.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Why? The Samoan lawyer.
Großer Bruder Maxi Hase. Why? The pictures.
Lucky Jim. Why? Dixon's public lecture.
V. Why? The alligator.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Hermann Observer online


The Sayings of Confusius - Confusionism for Beginners
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 27,950. Language: English. Published: January 19, 2021. Categories: Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » White house, Nonfiction » Philosophy » Political
Confusius is confused. From cultural appropriation to The Great Presidential Election Fraud of 2020, Confusius feels as if the world has been pulled out from beneath his feet. Confusionism is an expression of this confusion and the assorted humorous observations which comprise this little book are an attempt to come to grips with the left-wing lunacy and demoralization we now find all around us.
Brain Quest - A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 49,170. Language: English. Published: December 26, 2017. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure
Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce.
The Little Red Book: Of Little-Read Jokes about the Enlightened Left
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 13,100. Language: English. Published: August 25, 2015. Categories: Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Current affairs, Nonfiction » Politics & Current Affairs » Communism & socialism
Much like Chairman Mao's compilation of hilarious witticisms published during Communist China's zany Cultural Revolution back in the day, this little red book is an uproarious collection of pointless nonsense and senseless drivel dedicated to the countless enlightened leftists still annoyingly omnipresent in our present era.
501 German Oddities - Observations from an Innocent Abroad
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 34,200. Language: English. Published: September 14, 2014. Categories: Nonfiction » Travel » By region » Europe, Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire » Form / trivia
(3.00 from 1 review)
Sure, you may have thought you already knew everything there was to know about Germany and the Germans. After all, every school kid knows that Germany is the land of circulatory disorders, Turkish döner kebab, naked sledding competitions and David Hasselhoff. But Germany is more than that. Much more.
Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,590. Language: English. Published: August 31, 2014. Categories: Nonfiction » Language Instruction » German, Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire » Form / anecdotes & quotations
(4.00 from 2 reviews)
Have you ever ordered leather cheese? Have you ever told your cab driver that your hotel is located on One-Way Street? I doubt it. But English speakers trying to speak German say bizarre things like this all the time and I, for one, feel their pain. Acutely, even. They are speaking Dumb Deutsch. And they have no one else to blame but themselves.

Hermann Observer's tag cloud

berlin    biden    bloopers    camp    conservatives    democrats    election 2020    elections    english    europe    faux pas    funny    german    germans    germany    humor    joe biden    jokes    language    language guide    language study    languages    laughs    leftist    leftists    liberal    liberals    lifestyle    parody    puns    republicans    satire    scifi    traditions    travel    trump