Dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, Hermann Observer (aka Clarsonimus Maximus) is a mean, angry, cynical and nasty old expatriate American [place favorite expletive here] who observes the world around him in quiet desperation.
Who are your favorite authors?
They change. Although I've never met an author I didn't like (this is probably because I've never actually met an author). At the moment I'll go with Philip K. Dick, Hunter S. Thompson and Alfred E. Neuman. You know, guys like that.
What are your five favorite books, and why?
I don't have five favorite books. I have one favorite book. It is always the one I am currently reading (if it wasn't my favorite book I wouldn't be reading it). I can give you five random favorite books of mine from the past if you would like, however. The Man in the High Castle. Why? The dystopian schizophrenia. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Why? The Samoan lawyer. Großer Bruder Maxi Hase. Why? The pictures. Lucky Jim. Why? Dixon's public lecture. V. Why? The alligator.
Confusius is confused. From cultural appropriation to The Great Presidential Election Fraud of 2020, Confusius feels as if the world has been pulled out from beneath his feet. Confusionism is an expression of this confusion and the assorted humorous observations which comprise this little book are an attempt to come to grips with the left-wing lunacy and demoralization we now find all around us.
Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce.
Much like Chairman Mao's compilation of hilarious witticisms published during Communist China's zany Cultural Revolution back in the day, this little red book is an uproarious collection of pointless nonsense and senseless drivel dedicated to the countless enlightened leftists still annoyingly omnipresent in our present era.
Sure, you may have thought you already knew everything there was to know about Germany and the Germans. After all, every school kid knows that Germany is the land of circulatory disorders, Turkish döner kebab, naked sledding competitions and David Hasselhoff. But Germany is more than that. Much more.
Have you ever ordered leather cheese? Have you ever told your cab driver that your hotel is located on One-Way Street? I doubt it. But English speakers trying to speak German say bizarre things like this all the time and I, for one, feel their pain. Acutely, even. They are speaking Dumb Deutsch. And they have no one else to blame but themselves.