Papoose Doorbelle

Publisher info

About Me

I'm a writer and junk. But I wasn't always a writer. Truth be told, I was pretty terrible in all my English classes as a child. I was always good at math and science, so teachers never really cared too much about my grammar and language mastery. To boot, I had horrible ADHD. I still do, but as a child, it was much worse. It was so bad in fact, that when someone spoke to me, by the time they got to the second word in the sentence, I had forgotten the first word. If you read the book "Am I God, Gobland?" I tell you all about it in great detail.

Most of my books are from personal experience. Okay, scratch that, that's a total lie. Everything I write is completely made up wild fiction that I imagined. My imagination is so far out and bizarre and original that sometimes I have to lasso it in and tame and contain it so that it doesn't spiral out of control beyond the bounds of acceptable literature.

When I was young, people (read: adults) would always tell me what a wild imagination I had. I never understood that. To me, I wasn't imagining anything; I was just trying to understand them. But in so doing, my imagination would fill in the blanks, and what should have been a clear picture of the reality I was living in became a whole assortment of fabricated fantasies I assumed were true based on the information I was given.

I think as we become adults, what we lose, what separates us from children, is our imaginations. Children have imaginations. There is no changing that. But as we grow and become adults, our imaginations are replaced with our perceptions of reality. We lose our imaginations because they stop being necessary as we come to grasp the reality that confines us.

Unfortunately, I'm a non-conformist. What does that mean exactly? Well, for one, it means that I refuse to relinquish my imagination in exchange for the reality I should accept as my existence. There is more to life than meets the eye. In my humble and unforgiving opinion, we are all at fault for allowing ourselves to be convinced that we can exist without imaginations. Worse yet is the belief that our imaginations are strictly for creating illogical forms of manipulations to trick each other.

That is a sad state of affairs, but it is not the path I have chosen. I have written on a number of topics/genres. But moving forward, I'm going to write children's stories. A collection of children's stories to be exact. And that series starts with the epic saga titled "Zen of Gob Goblin."

You're welcome to read the other stories if you want. I don't care. I actually don't care about a lot of things. Perhaps less than a normal person should not care about. For example, I don't care about global warming; I don't care about terrorists; I don't care about money; I don't care about politics or organized religion; I don't care who I offend or insult. I also don't care about who I compliment or flatter. If I do happen to compliment or flatter anybody or any groups in my writings, it is completely coincidental and unintentional.

But there are things I do care about. I care about suffering. I think suffering is the worst thing a being can experience in life. Think of a poor animal that has been run over by a car and lays there in the road half alive, bleeding, but not dead. That is horrible suffering. It's bones crushed and mangled. No chance of survival or recovery. It just lies that and waits until it finally dies. Every second of that time feels like an eternity to that animal. That is suffering that I cannot stand. But of course, there are other forms of suffering I care about as well. We all suffer. We are born into suffering, and there is an escape, a nirvana if you will.

That of course brings me to my next point: my religious beliefs. I was born Jewish. I did not have a choice in that matter. I think it's very odd that people find fault in others for things that are beyond their control. Irregardless, I am still Jewish. I will never stop being Jewish. Accept for this one point: I studied a lot of Buddhism. I also studied a lot of Taoism, Hinduism, Reflexology, Reiki, and the list goes on. Am I Jewish? Maybe. Perhaps through the perceptions of others who only see what their limited minds allow them to see. I no longer have any religion that can be defined in relative terms within the confines of our language. Having said all that though, I still believe in God. All the Buddhism and other eastern philosophies and anything else will never take away my undying pledge and love for my Creator.

I speak a great deal about that in some of my earlier books. Not so much in the children's books, but if you're interested in a philosophical read that will have you questioning the very reality you believe you are in control of, then by all means, give my first few books a try. I can promise you this: you've never read anything like them before.

What else? Why and how am I a writer now? I wrote a book back in 2006. It was a user manual for a financial company in midtown Manhattan. Possibly one of the oldest financial firms in existence if memory serves me (it doesn't). I thought nothing of it, but they loved it. They praised my writing as amazing and talented, and off I went into a career as a technical writer. It wasn't long before I had a firm grasp of the English language that rivaled the very grammar style guides that I used to perfect my language skills and knowledge.

Then reality took a turn for the strange. Everything I thought I knew came into question. All the petty and trivial problems and squabbles of the past became mere illusions from which I awoke like a hazy dream. I saw passed the bounds of my own existence. I found enlightenment. I found the answer. I found everything I was looking for. And with that came enemies. I found I had a lot more enemies that I ever thought I would. That's nice. They care enough to hate me. So cute. I wish I could say the same, but the truth is I don't hate them. They get filed in the "shit I don't care about" folder I just threw in the trash. Sorry (read: not sorry)! Yeah, I apologize, but if you hate me, the feeling is not mutual. That's your hang up. Go see a shrink and get that hate sorted out.

So now what? You guessed it. Children's stories. Perhaps more like pre-teen stories. Thing is though, I don't care about money, and I'm not in it for the fortune and fame. I was going to create this gigantic educational solution for future generations, but yes, you guessed it, I just don't care. So, this will be a slow process. It's not that I can't write fast; it's that I have no reason to. I write because I have too. Because the stories sit in my brain like heavy rocks weighing down my imagination until I release them to paper. So, when the next story begins to become a burden, I'll write that one too I guess. But I'm in no rush. Enjoy the ones I wrote so far, and maybe one day, there'll be more.

Smashwords Interview

How do you remove previously answered questions that no longer apply to or represent your brand or the movement defined by the direction in which your brand has taken your image, which then dictated the redefining of your mission statement?
Well, I’m sure glad I asked that question. It was getting so as to the point where I thought even I wouldn’t be able to muster the courage to ask myself a redundant and rhetorical question on a subject devoid of any value to anyone other than the over-sensitive author who is too wrapped up in his current endeavors to objectively perceive the lack of value in even answering the very question he has asked himself here. Terrible position to be in. I don’t envy me.
Read more of this interview.

Where to buy in print

Zen of Gob Goblin
Series: The Papoose Universe. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 42,370. Language: English. Published: April 8, 2019 by Papoose Doorbelle. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fairy tales & fables, Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction
A fun children’s (**Ages 9+**) fairy tale of a queen in search of her best friend, Zen, and the wolf pack she sends in search of him led by her husband, King Goblin. Divided as three separate plot lines that are interwoven with each other, this marks the beginning of the epic tales in the Papoose Universe.

Series

The Papoose Universe
The Papoose Universe (ages 9+) is a collection of interwoven science fiction stories throughout various galaxies within the Papoose Universe. The series begins in the Lydian galaxy where King Gob Goblin, canine husband to Queen Hassa Ve Pilpel, is on the hunt to find Zen, the queen’s best friend. The fiction unfolds with intertwined plots of the interwoven stories all within interlaced epic sagas of the series.
Zen of Gob Goblin
Price: $0.99 USD.
Torture Trials
A series/collection of intertwined / interwoven installments of loosely related volumes, each containing short stories related together by a common theme and sharing characters and plots across editions. The only real binding element to these novels is the drive and inspiration that fueled the spilling of ink on the topics / subjects. Between God and Satan, every man must choose his loyalty. One man decided on God, but found himself to be the only one among millions of devil worshippers, some unaware of their allegiance by virtue of their own sins. However, with only his faith to guide him, that man survived every attempt on his life and every attack on his virtues. That man was me. I’m a writer. These are those stories. Happy reading. God bless.
Am I God, Gobland?
Price: $0.99 USD.
A Zenless Ken
Price: $0.99 USD.
Papoose’s Punny Jokes
A collection of jokes and riddles books with mostly all-ages appropriate material except for about 10%, which makes this series inappropriate for minors. These books are intended for ages 13 and up.
Punny Jokes 101
Price: $0.99 USD.
Punny Jokes 102
Price: $0.99 USD.

Books

A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothes
Series: Torture Trials. You set the price! Words: 48,770. Language: American English. Published: March 6, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Urban, Fiction » Science fiction » Apocalyptic
The third volume of the Torture Trials series offers a an angel pretending to be a demon in hell and is identified by the others. It offers a surprise ending to conclude the trilogy of how one man stood against an army of witches. Ages 13+
Punny Jokes 102
Series: Papoose’s Punny Jokes. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,070. Language: American English. Published: February 26, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
A book of riddles and jokes containing phrase or sentence-long homonymous phrases that form unique, original, funny puns. Great material for bars, parties, or anywhere a brain-teaser styled joke might be appropriate. Ages 11+
A Zenless Ken
Series: Torture Trials, Book 2. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 48,980. Language: English. Published: February 8, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Urban
(5.00 from 1 review)
A Zenless Ken, Book 2 of the Torture Trials, exposes those who declared war on God, details how She protected the one sent to uncover the truth, and reveals some of the mysteries left unanswered in the first installment. This book begins the Age of Enlightenment. Feel it heal and embrace God’s love. Ages 13+
Am I God, Gobland?
Series: Torture Trials, Book 1. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 71,000. Language: American English. Published: October 24, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Nonfiction » Philosophy » Movements / existentialism
The first installment of the Torture Trials series introduces a writer who was sentenced to hell, murdered to expedite his trip there, then returned by the grace of God to battle demons as one himself. The internal struggle and turmoil justifying his battle externally is cleverly disguised to be indistinguishable from the reality that unfolds before him. Ages 13+
Punny Jokes 101
Series: Papoose’s Punny Jokes. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 7,770. Language: American English. Published: December 29, 2017. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire, Nonfiction » Children's Books » Humor / Jokes & Riddles
(5.00 from 1 review)
Mind Bending double entendres & punny jokes by P!apoose of Papoose Doorbelle Publishing presented by Smashwords, a Chen Dushek publication. Double meaning riddles get more complex the deeper into the book you go. Ages 13+

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