Papoose Doorbelle


On A Zenless Ken

Next to come out in the Torture Trials series/collection is the Buddhist perspective of the first installment with more details and greater insight into the mind where angels and demons battle inside for control of existence as the man continues his quest for peace, or peace and quiet, or just quiet if there won’t be any peace. Stay tuned as the dozen or so volumes slated to be released in this collection are continuslly updated and modified even after publication. A Zenless Ken offers the Buddhist aspect sans the inner peace and alchemy. We all have breaking points. What this book will contani is still being weighed against what it promsises to deliver. Coming out early 2019.

On Am I God, Gobland?

I spent over half a decade perfecting this piece of junk and frankly, I think it's got more holes than five baskets of peach halves divided among three people. Nothing in the story makes sense. I completely ignored the ending if I even bothered writing one, so I think it just dies off in the middle and you're left standing there alone holding the anti-hero's hand thinking 'dude, fucken let go already,' but no, then it just kind of drifts off and you're back where you started, at Chapter 1. I think that's because I wrote some of these chapters in the reverse order than they were printed in. Meaning, I wrote chapter 1, then I wrote another chapter 1, and then previous chapter 1 became chapter 2. Then I wrote chapter 1 again, and one became two, two became three, and on went the cycle until I wrote all chapters in total flip flop format so nothing barely makes any sense. Then, I think some girl got a hold of the manuscript, and she couldn't spell for shit, so I have no idea what the fuck she was saying, but in all honesty, I don't think she had anything good to say. So forget that shit, she ain't in the credits. I'll be damned! What else? Oh, the whole thing is basically this boring ass monologue by this guy that pretends like he's not whining the whole time, but if you read between the lines, you can see a tear drop crusted over on the top of some of the letters, so that just strains the eyes to no end. I don't know. Overall, it's just a sad remake of Queens Psychotic written like a decade ago, then taken off the market cause it wasn't good enough, so it's probably spoiled by now. I say buy it while it’s free, read the last sentence or two, tell the author it was total crap and you could do better, then make him cough up double the price in a petty attempt to make a dollar out of fifteen sents. (That's how many times you have to email him for a response by the way; what a dick.) Then grt bent when you remember you got it for free, so double that is still nothing. Anywho, the first review was pretty flattering, I won’t lie. Something about “redefining suffering... laughed and cried a dozen times”... etc. etc.
I recently updated the book yet again and now there’s different versions depending on whether you buy it here, Barnes and Noble, or Apple, so take that for whatever it’s worth. I’ll continue updating the book periodically as I add the other books in this series/collection to my offerings. A Zenless Ken is the sequel to this book. This is the first of the series. - k

On P!ublishing various genres

Papoose Doorbelle Publishing is an organization interested in health, knowledge, and education. Books and documents published by Papoose Doorbelle Publishing, or P!apoose, can be of any genre, voice, tone, or length provided they do not promote misinformation or propaganda with the intent of distorting the public’s image of globally adverse events, such as mass oppression or cultural genocide. Having said that, science fiction and fantasy literature of a high entertainment value with respect to the publication’s impression on its audience is not necessarily bound to these limitations provided the literature in question is not in itself an act of or an actual crime against a specific person or group of persons already in defensive or defeated standing in current events such that the publication would add to or encourage reactions with unwelcomed impact on their freedoms and liberties. On the contrary, P!apoose is always and will always be willing and ready to promote and distribute content that devalues or questions the status quo with regard to the segregation, discrimination, retaliation, or elimination of any person or group forbidden or prevented from expressing their inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the freedoms inherent in our existence.

P!apoose’s first publication, Punny Jokes 101, is a great example of a publication that entertains without being at the expense of any living persons except as to illicit a reaction of laughter that neither causes nor implies any contempt or insult to any living person, a rare and unique characterstic often missing from comedy by today’s standards.
Comedy is not necessarily the focus of the publishing company’s mission, and likewise, is neither turned away should it be of content that is free of cheap or tasteless insults that merely piggyback off of the culturally-defined implications of humorous standards, however missing they might be from the origin, and rely on genuine brain-tickling playful spin offs and word craftsmanship to offer the audience fresh material sans the prejudicial undertones. Such non-offensive material with no political influence or implications is a welcome manuscript for P!apoose’s brand.

On Punny Jokes 101

This is the first in a series of joke books I plan on putting together for fans of my phonetically harmonious double entendres served with a side of satiric silliness. That aside, we can only hope and assume the first book in the series will be the worst of them and they gradually get better, because the only real value I see in this book is learning how to form these phrases on your own.

On P!apoose Publishing

Authors searching for a publication company with principles based in freedom of expression and prevention of oppression are welcome to contact P!apoose should they have a manuscript ready for copyediting and finalization.
P!apoose currently only offers content in English and is based in the New York metro area of the US. All materials and content published by Papoose Doorbelle Publishing is original, unique, creative inventions of the author(s) represented by P!apoose, who all retain rights to their works, their copies, and they're content as appropriate and as provided under local, state, federal, and international copyright laws.

On Plagiarism?

P!apoose does not condone nor participate in any form of plagiarism, including borrowing or even citing reference in its publications. Readers interested in materials quoted by other authors are encouraged to seek out those publications originally written by others, as quotes of their works are not permitted nor will not be found in materials published by P!apoose. If P!apoose publishes it, then it’s original, unique, and most likely a rogue nonconformist of the existing standards on written forms at the time of publication and should be approached with extreme caution, as it may be armed and dangerous with knowledge and to the status quo, respectively.

Smashwords Interview

How do you remove previously answered questions that no longer apply to or represent your brand or the movement defined by the direction in which your brand has taken your image, which then dictated the redefining of your mission statement?
Well, I’m sure glad I asked that question. It was getting so as to the point where I thought even I wouldn’t be able to muster the courage to ask myself a redundant and rhetorical question on a subject devoid of any value to anyone other than the over-sensitive author who is too wrapped up in his current endeavors to objectively perceive the lack of value in even answering the very question he has asked himself here. Terrible position to be in. I don’t envy me.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Papoose Doorbelle online

Where to buy in print


The Papoose Universe
The Papoose Universe (ages 9+) is a collection of interwoven science fiction stories throughout various galaxies within the Papoose Universe. The series begins in the Lydian galaxy where King Gob Goblin, canine husband to Queen Hassa Ve Pilpel, is on the hunt to find Zen, the queen’s best friend. The fiction unfolds with intertwined plots of the interwoven stories all within interlaced epic sagas of the series.
Zen of Gob Goblin
Price: $4.99 USD. (Free until May 10!)
Torture Trials
A series/collection of intertwined / interwoven installments of loosely related volumes, each containing short stories related together by a common theme and sharing characters and plots across editions. The only real binding element to these novels is the drive and inspiration that fueled the spilling of ink on the topics / subjects. Between God and Satan, every man must choose his loyalty. One man decided on God, but found himself to be the only one among millions of devil worshippers, some unaware of their allegiance by virtue of their own sins. However, with only his faith to guide him, that man survived every attempt on his life and every attack on his virtues. That man was me. I’m a writer. These are those stories. Happy reading. God bless.
Am I God, Gobland?
Price: $3.95 USD. (Free until June 30!)
A Zenless Ken
Price: $3.95 USD. (Free until June 30!)
A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothes
Price: $4.95 USD. (Free until July 30!)
Papoose’s Punny Jokes
A collection of jokes and riddles books with mostly all-ages appropriate material except for about 10%, which makes this series inappropriate for minors. These books are intended for ages 13 and up.
Punny Jokes 101
Price: $1.99 $0.99 USD. (50% off until July 6!)
Punny Jokes 102
Price: $1.99 $0.99 USD. (50% off until July 6!)


Punny Jokes 103
Pre-release—available October 18, 2019. Price: $1.99 USD. Language: English. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Punny Jokes 103, slated to be the funniest joke book ever released the day it is released, is the sequel to the previous two joke books by Papoose Doorbelle Publishing. Inside the pages of this book, you will find amazingly formulated puns from a single phrase up to a sentence long that defy the laws of grammar, literally speaking. Ages10+
Zen of Gob Goblin
Series: The Papoose Universe. Price: $4.99 USD. (Free until May 10!) Words: 42,370. Language: English. Published: April 8, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Fairy tales & fables, Fiction » Children’s books » Fiction
A fun children’s (**Ages 9+**) fairy tale of a queen in search of her best friend, Zen, and the wolf pack she sends in search of him led by her husband, King Goblin. Divided as three separate plot lines that are interwoven with each other, this marks the beginning of the epic tales in the Papoose Universe.
A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothes
Series: Torture Trials. Price: $4.95 USD. (Free until July 30!) Words: 48,770. Language: American English. Published: March 6, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Fantasy » Urban, Fiction » Science fiction » Apocalyptic
The third volume of the Torture Trials series offers a an angel pretending to be a demon in hell and is identified by the others. It offers a surprise ending to conclude the trilogy of how one man stood against an army of witches. Ages 13+
Punny Jokes 102
Series: Papoose’s Punny Jokes. Price: $1.99 $0.99 USD. (50% off until July 6!) Words: 3,070. Language: American English. Published: February 26, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
A book of riddles and jokes containing phrase or sentence-long homonymous phrases that form unique, original, funny puns. Great material for bars, parties, or anywhere a brain-teaser styled joke might be appropriate. Ages 11+
A Zenless Ken
Series: Torture Trials, Book 2. Price: $3.95 USD. (Free until June 30!) Words: 48,980. Language: English. Published: February 8, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Urban
(5.00 from 1 review)
A Zenless Ken, Book 2 of the Torture Trials, exposes those who declared war on God, details how She protected the one sent to uncover the truth, and reveals some of the mysteries left unanswered in the first installment. This book begins the Age of Enlightenment. Feel it heal and embrace God’s love. Ages 13+
Am I God, Gobland?
Series: Torture Trials, Book 1. Price: $3.95 USD. (Free until June 30!) Words: 71,000. Language: American English. Published: October 24, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Nonfiction » Philosophy » Movements / existentialism
The first installment of the Torture Trials series introduces a writer who was sentenced to hell, murdered to expedite his trip there, then returned by the grace of God to battle demons as one himself. The internal struggle and turmoil justifying his battle externally is cleverly disguised to be indistinguishable from the reality that unfolds before him. Ages 13+
Punny Jokes 101
Series: Papoose’s Punny Jokes. Price: $1.99 $0.99 USD. (50% off until July 6!) Words: 7,770. Language: American English. Published: December 29, 2017. Categories: Nonfiction » Entertainment » Humor & satire, Nonfiction » Children's Books » Humor / Jokes & Riddles
(5.00 from 1 review)
Mind Bending double entendres & punny jokes by P!apoose of Papoose Doorbelle Publishing presented by Smashwords, a Chen Dushek publication. Double meaning riddles get more complex the deeper into the book you go. Ages 13+

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