Member Since: Nov. 08, 2011

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Barnaby Wilde

Biography

Barnaby Wilde is the pen name of Tim Fisher.
Tim was born in 1947 in Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in manufacturing and quality control for a multinational photographic company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other interests. He has two grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.

Where to find Barnaby Wilde online

Website: http://www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk

Series

Quirky Verse by
Animalia
Price: Free!
Life ... (plus ten)
Price: $0.99 USD.
Not at all Rhinocerus
Price: Free!
The Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things
Price: $0.99 USD.
A Little Bit Elephant
Price: $0.99 USD.
Tunnel Vision
Price: $0.99 USD.
Barnaby's Shorts by
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One)
Price: Free!
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Two)
Price: $0.99 USD.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Three)
Price: $0.99 USD.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Four)
Price: $0.99 USD.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Five)
Price: $0.99 USD.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Six)
Price: $0.99 USD.
The Mercedes Drew Mysteries by
Flowers for Mercedes
Price: Free!
Free Running
Price: $1.99 USD.
Flandra
Price: $1.99 USD.
Smile for the Camera
Price: $2.99 USD.
Mercedes Drew the collection
Price: $2.99 USD.
The Tom Fletcher Stories by
I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday
Price: Free!
A Question of Alignment
Price: $2.99 USD.
Every Which Way but East
Price: $2.99 USD.

Books

There Still Be Dragons (Vol 3) by
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 39,150. Language: British English. Published: August 10, 2023 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Fairy tales
(5.00 from 1 review)
More stories from a land far, far away, beyond the mountains and over the seas. Ten unlikely tales about a very short King, his very tall daughter, his Vizier, the Court Jester and others, occasionally including dragons. Short stories for adults who've never grown up and who still retain a childish sense of humour. To be read in your coffee break, on the train, in bed, or even in the bath.
Davey and the Holey Oak by
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 36,880. Language: British English. Published: December 31, 2021 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Nobody would ever describe Davey as a kind, old gentleman. Some folk would call him cantankerous, others would say he was a bit dodgy, and some, less generous, would even go so far as to call him a miserable, tight fisted, old bastard. He called himself an entreprenoor (his spelling). A collection of ten humourous tales about an old man simply trying to make a living.
There Still Be Dragons (book 2) by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 35,410. Language: English. Published: August 2, 2021 . Categories: Fiction » Fairy tales, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
More stories from a land far, far away, beyond the mountains and over the seas. Ten unlikely tales about a very short King, his very tall daughter, his Vizier, Court Jester and others, including a wandering minstrel, a genie in a lamp, and a small red dragon. Short stories for adults who've never grown up and who still retain a childish sense of humour. Stories to make you smile or laugh out loud
There Still Be Dragons by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 37,160. Language: British English. Published: January 13, 2021 . Categories: Fiction » Fairy tales, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 3 reviews)
In a land far, far away, beyond the mountains and over the seas, lived a very short King and his very tall daughter. Ten unlikely tales about the King, his Vizier, the Court Jester and others, including the obligatory prisoner in the dungeon, and the witch in the tower. Short stories for adults who've never grown up and who still retain a childish sense of humor to make you smile or laugh out loud
The Women Furies (Tales From The Poachers Inn) by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 40,320. Language: English. Published: December 1, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
A humorous collection of ten tall tales about the Poachers Inn Quiz team, 'The Women Furies', and their rivalry with the Poachers darts team. Their banal discussions range from the origin of the bicycle to the ghost in the cellar, what happened when they got stuck in the snow and the kid in the woodshed, plus a bonus story from the Vertigo Research labs, when stairs go wrong.
Grow Your Own Man by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 39,780. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 1 review)
Ten short stories illustrating the pleasures and pitfalls of growing men from beans. How do you get rid of a bean man when he's outlived his usefulness? Why do Emily's men seem to have an aversion to mushrooms? How does 'Spider' know so much about the moon? What's so special about Las Vegas? Find out in 'Grow Your Own Man', a humorous look at the pros and cons of having green fingers.
A is for Armadillo by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,640. Language: British English. Published: January 22, 2020 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
An animal alphabet of odd rhymes for adults with a sense of the absurd. Twenty six animal related poems from A to Z. Quirky verses for grown ups. Absurd, funny, or just plain weird, featuring Armadillos, Barnacles, Elephants and Lobsters. Also includes Unicorns, Yaks and the odd Quagga, plus nineteen more.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Eleven) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 37,280. Language: British English. Published: January 16, 2020 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
Ten coffee break sized stories in mixed genres from Barnaby Wilde. Spider wins big in Las Vegas. Mercedes solves a clue in Italy. A girl goes missing when the knife man calls. A Faberge egg is stolen, or is it? Card skimming at the Poacher's Inn. Long, long ago in a land far away, the King starts a lottery. Robbery, humour, mystery, farce, death and more in this new collection of short stories.
Out of Time by
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 82,570. Language: British English. Published: November 26, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Adventure » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
A chase through time as two men’s lives become inextricably linked when their time lines get entangled.
Sharp Edges by , , , , , , &
Price: $1.50 USD. Words: 18,030. Language: English. Published: May 15, 2016 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - multi-author
Top Writers Block has written a collection of short stories full of sharp edges and cutting wit. Knives cut deep, but so do words. Enjoy this collection of fiction full of fun, fantasy, mystery, and horror. Eight stories include authors Cleve Sylcox, Barnaby Wilde, Suzy Stewart Dubot, Tracey Howard, Melissa A. Szydlek, and Elizabeth Rowan Keith.
Theme Park by , , , , , , &
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 23,320. Language: English. Published: April 14, 2016 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - multi-author
Six exciting worlds of adventure, mystery, drama, suspense, and horror await you. Climb aboard as Top Writers Block takes you on a ride celebrating the talent of independent authors. Come explore these unique worlds. Delight in classic writing styles, whimsical humor, and cold corridors of spine-tingling mayhem. This collection is sure to delight. Enter our Theme Park. You are Welcome Here.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Ten) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 36,490. Language: British English. Published: March 9, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 1 review)
Jepherson Thomas builds a life sized origami boat and the return of Dr Ratt in new tales from the Vertigo labs. Emily has more problems with 'Grow your own man' beans and the Poachers Inn Quiz team catch a ghost. A fairy tale, sci fi, romance and humour in ten new short stories in Barnaby's Shorts #10. Something for everyone to read in the bath, in bed, on the train or during your coffee break.
Love by
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 40,010. Language: English. Published: February 16, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Romance » Short stories
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
A collection of short stories loosely linked by the theme of love. Stories of meetings and partings. Stories of hope and loss. Romance, danger, desire and wishful thinking. A little humour, a dash of pathos and a whole lot of love.
Vertigo (tales from the Vertigo labs) by
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 47,590. Language: English. Published: January 3, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
The collected stories from the Vertigo Research Labs. How can stairs stop working, when up becomes down? Can something be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside? Jepherson Thomas, janitor at the Vertigo labs, tells all in eleven humorous stories from the world's most unlikely research establishment.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Nine) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 34,900. Language: British English. Published: October 21, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(4.33 from 3 reviews)
Ten tales which are just the right length to read in your coffee break, in the bath, or in bed. Emily finally finds a real man in 'The Problem with Beans', The Poacher's Inn quiz team discuss the finer points of cycling in 'The Dandy Horse' and there is another tale from the Vertigo labs in 'Whichcraft'. Humour, mystery, sci fi, romance and more in this new collection.
Mercedes Drew the collection by
Series: The Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 127,890. Language: English. Published: May 28, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Cozy, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(4.00 from 1 review)
Volumes one to three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Nine short stories about Mercedes Drew, her 1969 Triumph Bonneville T120 motorbike and her boyfriend Detective Inspector Desmond Flowers, collected into a single volume. Also includes a preview of volume four, 'Smile for the Camera', a full length Mercedes Drew mystery. A country house robbery, a rock festival, a missing girl and a photographer.
Chameleons by
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 39,000. Language: English. Published: May 5, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories
A woman dreams of chameleons every night; a man in an orange jumpsuit finds himself marooned on a featureless plain; the first confirmed message from an extra terrestrial source; a cube with a mind of it's own and a bored space explorer all feature in this collection of eleven sci fi short stories in the old style. No magic, no wizards, no warlocks, no werewolves and not a vampire in sight.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume 8) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 37,650. Language: English. Published: April 25, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
Ten short stories to read anywhere. Sci fi, romance, mystery and humour. Somethin's wrong, terrible wrong at the farm in 'Fine Weather'. An unexpected encounter at 40,000 ft in 'Night Flight'. A new use for ATMs in 'Dr Kemp's Card', and a man fights for his life in 'Runaway'. This collection includes a complete Mercedes Drew mystery in 'A Party for Mike', a new tale from the Vertigo Labs and more.
Smile for the Camera by
Series: The Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 68,080. Language: British English. Published: February 12, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Cozy
(4.50 from 2 reviews)
A full length mystery for Mercedes Drew and Inspector Flowers. An Art theft from a country house, a rock festival, a missing girl, a photographer and a dead body in the Mercedes Drew Mysteries #4. When a young girl goes missing at the Wemrock music festival, Inspector Flowers has to drop everything to lead the search. Mercedes and her biker friends are not willing to stand idly by and do nothing.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume 7) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 35,520. Language: British English. Published: January 10, 2014 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Anthologies » General
(5.00 from 3 reviews)
Ten short stories in a variety of genres, including another tale from the Vertigo labs in 'The Invisibility Cloak'; Emily plants her last two 'grow your own man' beans in 'When Danger of Frost is Past', and a tale of stalemate in a country lane in 'Impasse'. Is levitation really possible? Why do Tom's new curtains keep him awake at night? Answers to these questions and more in this new collection.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Six) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 34,470. Language: English. Published: October 21, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
Ten more coffee break sized stories in all genres, including another tale from the Vertigo labs, a mystery coach tour in the West of England, a message from beyond the stars and a spat between the quiz and darts teams at the Poacher's Inn. Stories that are the right length to read in the bath, on the train or during your break. What if you woke up inside a maze, or your best friend went missing?
Barnaby's Bigger Book of Shorts by
Price: $2.50 USD. Words: 132,890. Language: English. Published: August 9, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(4.00 from 1 review)
Forty coffee break sized stories (Volumes 1 to 4 of Barnaby's Shorts) in one collected volume. Ideal for the beach, in the bath, on the train to work, or, while taking your morning coffee. A mix of genres, including mystery, romance, sci fi and humour. Who are The Women Furies? Can you grow a man from a bean? Is it possible to rob a bank by accident?
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Five) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 31,670. Language: English. Published: July 7, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
Ten more short stories to read while you take a coffee break; on your train ride to work; in the bath, or on the beach. Three lads play hooky from school, a virtual man who is human in every way, a father and son conversation, a body frozen in the ice. A hint of sci fi, a touch of romance, a pinch of humour and always a twist at the end. Ten stories in a variety of genres to suit all tastes.
Flandra by
Series: The Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 47,800. Language: English. Published: April 28, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Traditional British, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Cozy
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
Mysterious goings on in the allotments, a lorry hijack and arson at the golf club. Three more complete stories about Mercedes Drew, her 1969 Triumph Bonneville T120 motorcycle and Detective Inspector Desmond Flowers, in Volume Three of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Four) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 38,450. Language: English. Published: February 20, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Anthologies » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Ten more coffee break sized stories from Barnaby Wilde. Including another tale from the Vertigo labs, a boy and a bear in the woods, a winter's tale of murder, and a true story from Crete. A touch of romance, a hint of sci fi, a portion of mystery, a morality tale and a thread of humour. Just the right size to read in bed, on the train or in the bath.
Free Running by
Series: The Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 43,650. Language: English. Published: January 18, 2013 . Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Hard-Boiled, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(5.00 from 1 review)
A stolen rhinoceros head,a post office robbery,a body in the woods. Three more complete stories about Mercedes Drew, her 1969 Triumph Bonneville T120 motorcycle and Detective Inspector Desmond Flowers, in Volume Two of the Mercedes Drew Mysteries.
Flowers for Mercedes by
Series: The Mercedes Drew Mysteries. Price: Free! Words: 37,490. Language: British English. Published: November 23, 2012 . Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Cozy, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Women Sleuths
(4.33 from 3 reviews)
A girl on a motorbike, a hit and run, a detective called Flowers, a warehouse robbery, a train derailment, a missing cat, arson, kidnap and more in three complete stories about Mercedes Drew which, together, form the first part of the Mercedes Drew mysteries.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Three) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 33,660. Language: English. Published: October 28, 2012 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
Ten more coffee break sized stories. A miscellany ideal for reading in the bath, on the train, in bed or on the beach. A hint of sci fi in Cube Roots; gentle humour from the world of the Vertigo Research Labs in Jocelyn and an old man's search for his roots in Visiting Worseley. What if dragons were very small? Why is Jack running, jumping, never standing still? Answers to this and more inside.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume Two) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 33,410. Language: English. Published: August 15, 2012 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author
Coffee break sized stories including gentle humour, a touch of sci fi, a smidgen of romance and an air of mystery. Stories include The Running Boy, The Magician's Cabinet, The Turing Test and The Case of the Missing Spray Cleaner. Short stories ideal for lulling you to sleep at bedtime or reading on the train on your way to work.
Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One) by
Series: Barnaby's Shorts. Price: Free! Words: 31,720. Language: English. Published: July 18, 2012 . Categories: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - single author, Fiction » Holiday » Humorous
(4.80 from 5 reviews)
Ten short stories, including The Monkey Faced Boy, The Holey Oak, The Accidental Bank Job,The Horse that ran with the Wind and others. A mixed bag of tales ideal for reading on a plane or in a train. Gentle humour, a touch or sci fi, and a twist at the end.
Every Which Way but East by
Series: The Tom Fletcher Stories. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 75,480. Language: English. Published: July 3, 2012 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Young adult or teen » Humor
(5.00 from 1 review)
Retired, bored, bald Tom Fletcher uncovers another dastardly plot to change the laws of probability. Pausing only to take part in a Speed Dating evening, he is soon creating havoc across multiple universes dressed as a duck.
The Well Boiled Icycle by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,030. Language: English. Published: May 3, 2012 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
35 New 'quirky' poems by Barnaby Wilde featuring Clockwork Wellingtons, Goldfish, Jugglers and Gingerbread Men, but not necessarily in that order, (and not a mention of elephants).
Tunnel Vision by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,170. Language: English. Published: February 5, 2012 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(4.00 from 1 review)
Another collection of quirky verse featuring some longer verses on subjects as diverse as flying saucers, fear of flying and dining room tables. Pausing along the way to ask, what if whales could fly? and do you need more than two pairs of shoes? Featuring 'The Ballad of Wayne and Bill' and 'Flying Over the Atlantic'. Puns and jokes as usual.
A Little Bit Elephant by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 7,440. Language: English. Published: January 23, 2012 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(4.50 from 2 reviews)
Extra Quirky verses by Barnaby Wilde ... A collection of unrelated verse packed with puns and other strange stuff, including Carpets, Kitchen Appliances and Centaurs, with just a little bit of elephant
The Blind Philosopher and the God of Small Things by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,490. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2012 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
A collection of verse full of weak puns and jokes, loosely related by two men with long white beards.
Not at all Rhinocerus by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: Free! Words: 6,920. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2012 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(4.83 from 6 reviews)
A collection of quirky verse by Barnaby Wilde which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end). A miscellany of verses full of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous.
Life ... (plus ten) by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,620. Language: English. Published: December 19, 2011 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry
(5.00 from 1 review)
A collection of verse taking a sideways view of life from birth to death and points between. Ten new poems added.
Animalia by
Series: Quirky Verse. Price: Free! Words: 6,570. Language: English. Published: December 13, 2011 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
Quirky verses with a loosely animal related theme, including armadillos, camels, stick insects, elephants and dodos, but not necessarily in that order.
I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday by
Series: The Tom Fletcher Stories. Price: Free! Words: 68,820. Language: English. Published: November 15, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Humorous
(5.00 from 1 review)
Tom Fletcher sometimes sees people as donuts and uses Exchange and Mart as his guide through a life populated by topless dancers and hippopotami. Frogs, pizzas, water beds, pygmies, licorice flavoured condoms and an ostrich all have key parts to play in this murder mystery; or perhaps it's a love story; or is it just a tale about a man who doesn't own a decent jacket? … and who is Geoffrey?
A Question of Alignment by
Series: The Tom Fletcher Stories. Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 86,160. Language: English. Published: November 8, 2011 . Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Humorous
(4.00 from 1 review)
Tom Fletcher is an unlikely man to save the universe. In fact he is an unlikely man to do anything requiring action, but when the family cat talks to him, then walks through the sitting room wall, even he is intrigued. Someone from a parallel universe is altering the laws of probability by swapping Lottery balls. Soon, Tom is littering adjacent universes with stuff that just shouldn’t be there.

Barnaby Wilde's tag cloud

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