Jordan Dumer


I've read so many rulebooks, I had to throw the rules out and start over.

Creative writer for over a decade, I've written screenplays, essays, and even songs at one point or another. However, my dream is to have a short collection of works from my sites and blogs worthy to rest on a library shelf.

Find my portfolio at,, the ultimate collection. Popular jokes like Drugs of the Future and The Leprechaun. Powerful poems such as The Pearl and Internal Echoes. And impactful prose like Saturn's Scythe and Spirit Radio.

Find interesting Articles, Jokes and More, visit me at my website, Thank you.

Smashwords Interview

Describe your comedy?
Dirty, Silly, Weird, Messy, and needlessly complex, with a hint of folksy wisdom and a splash of sophistication. In short, it's like life, it leaves you with more questions than answers, and forces you to find your own way through the fertilizer, don't expect a masturbatory opus, but a simple ditty with some chuckles along the way.
Thoughts on Comedy in Today's Climate?
People are trying to live double lives (thanks to Social Media and the internet) that have made them extremely hypocritical. It makes it easy to insult, but hard to get people to get that stick out of their butts and laugh whole heartedly at the insanity, pain and brutality that is the human experience. And more than anything else today, that's what people need to get through these dark times, and instead of embracing life and owning it, they'd rather escape and be distracted, and in the end, are robbing themselves of a deeper, fuller, more enriching life.
Read more of this interview.

Where to find Jordan Dumer online


Historical Horror
Scary Short Stories that take place in the past
Stupid Smartphones
Comedy essays, jokes, poetry and short stories by fiction writer Jordan Dumer that centres around the absurdities and horrors of the digital Pandora's Box we carrying around with us every day.
Where Witches Gather
Stories about witches, folklore and the American experience centred around the town of Whitewater, Wisconsin.


The Spiders Dark Web
Price: Free! Words: 7,730. Language: English. Published: March 5, 2019. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Cyberpunk, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Hard-Boiled
After a vicious cyber attack leaves countless techie billionaires homeless on the streets, Federal Agent Mason Rose, Head of the Domestic Counterterrorism Unit, has made it his top priority to seek justice, leaving him and his colleagues vulnerable to powerful privatized corporations armed with a new weapon. Will they be able to stop it in time?
The Maltese Codices
Series: Historical Horror. Price: Free! Words: 5,250. Language: English. Published: October 31, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Historical » Ancient, Fiction » Horror » Occult
It's 146 BC and a Maltesian Sailor is swept along the southwestern shore of the Mediterranean after a rogue wave sinks his vessel, and what he finds will haunt him the rest of his life. But what is this strange tale doing in the home of a late nineteenth-century magician? And are some mysterious simply better left unsolved?
Death Owns the Night
Series: Historical Horror. Price: Free! Words: 1,700. Language: English. Published: October 4, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Historical » Medieval, Fiction » Horror » General
Five Travellers, a Priest and his Assistant, a Knight and his Errant, and alone Plague Doctor are hiking along the Italian Alps to escape the Black Plague, but is it too late? And what will they find on the other side of the mountain? Learn this and more in this short story about facing life and escaping death, or is it the other way around?
Series: Stupid Smartphones. You set the price! Words: 11,770. Language: English. Published: September 3, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Romance » Contemporary, Fiction » Horror » Weird fiction
Chet Paul's a young Classical Guitar Virtuoso who lives off the inheritance from his parents' tragic death. A loner, Chet feels awkward living alone in a world far different from the sheltered suburban life he was born in. So, he spends his days learning new songs on his acoustic guitar & working odd jobs to stay afloat financially. However, all of that changes when he meets the love of his life.
The Spiders Dark Web
Series: Stupid Smartphones. Price: Free! Words: 4,050. Language: English. Published: August 20, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Fiction » Mystery & detective » Hard-Boiled
(3.00 from 1 review)
100 Years in the Future, the FBI cracks down hard on White Collar Crime and corruption. Detective Willard is assigned the task of looking into the transaction records of an obscure company. But after finding the web address to an archaic computer simulation, FBI Cheif Bernard Miller finds himself tangled in the dark corners of the Dark Web. Caught up in a web of power, will he make it out alive?
Nighttime Photography
Price: Free! Words: 2,410. Language: English. Published: August 13, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult
Areal Photographer from Rural Wisconsin finds more in the backwoods of the Kettle Moraine forest than just some good pictures for his homepage. He discovers something far more sinister with his drone. But will he live to tell about it?
A Brief History of Mishaps
Series: Stupid Smartphones. Price: Free! Words: 3,430. Language: English. Published: August 12, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Alternative history
A Collection of three short stories about sex, drugs and sharks. The first story is set in the past, the second in the modern world, and the third in an alternative future.
Mississippi River Queen
Series: Stupid Smartphones. Price: Free! Words: 3,290. Language: English. Published: June 17, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Ghost, Fiction » Horror » General
A divorced father fixes up a boat, and decides to go boating on a hot summer day with his son. On their way back, they see a light, and then their motor fails, and then the trouble happens. Learn what happens on that faithful summer night in this Short Horror Story.
Karma Dog and the Cat Named Itchy Whiskers
Series: Stupid Smartphones. Price: Free! Words: 1,850. Language: English. Published: April 22, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Short Story about the sibling rivalry between a cat and a Dog.
The Book of Spells
Series: Stupid Smartphones. Price: Free! Words: 9,870. Language: English. Published: March 9, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Occult
The Sequel to THE WITCHES HAVE THEIR HOUR. Our young hero bribes a group of childhood misfits to embark on a weekend camping trip. But forgets to mention that this isn't an ordinary camping trip. The powers that be are after his rare books. And they will stop at nothing to take what they want no matter the cost. Will our hero and his ragtag friends be able to survive the weekend?
Red Cross Over Erie
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 22,360. Language: English. Published: February 14, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Horror » Occult, Fiction » Fantasy » Dark
Liam is a timid boy about to spend the weekend with his Aunt Victoria, a member of the Elite living on the Islands in and around Sandusky Bay. However, this is no usual family outing, Liam must face his fears, and the decisions he makes will not only decide his fate but the fate of The Great Lakes.
The Witches Have Their Hour
Series: Where Witches Gather. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,540. Language: English. Published: February 14, 2018. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Occult
Comedy, Mystery and some horror I guess surround a small Wisconsin college town. And one student takes his final semester historical essay to seriously. But will our young hero be able to retain his sanity, or will the towns buried horrors destroy his innocence forever on his quest to get a A+?
Starlight Reflections
Price: Free! Words: 4,130. Language: American English. Published: January 26, 2018. Categories: Poetry » American poetry » General
Collection of 28 Poems about the Universe, Love and the Human Experience.
Musical Poetics
You set the price! Words: 1,270. Language: American English. Published: June 27, 2014. Categories: Poetry » Contemporary Poetry
1267 words, 12 poems Musical Poetics is a Poetry Chapbook that sees the world through the eyes of a musician.

Jordan Dumer's favorite authors on Smashwords

Andre' Mwansa
Latest book: The Girl With Crooked Fangs.
Published March 15, 2020. (4.67 from 6 reviews)
Frankie Lassut
Latest book: The Party Goes On, On the Furthest Side.
Published November 11, 2019.

Smashwords book reviews by Jordan Dumer