Simon Haynes


Biography

Simon Haynes is the author of four Hal Spacejock novels, a number of articles on writing and publishing, and several short stories, one of which collected an Aurealis Award in 2001. He divides his time between writing fiction and computer software, with a daily 25-40km bike ride to blow the cobwebs away.

Born in the UK and raised in the south of Spain, Simon emigrated to Australia with his family in 1983. He's a founding member of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, and lives in Perth with his wife and two children.

His goal is to write fifteen Hal Spacejock books before someone takes his keyboard away.

Where to find Simon Haynes online


Where to buy in print


Books

Produit d'appel (Histoire courte)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 10910 words. Published on January 14, 2012. Fiction.

Après des retards et des difficultés de dernière minute, le premier vaisseau de colonisation terrien quitte notre planète en direction d'une étoile éloignée. Accompagnez son équipage tandis qu'ils découvrent des apparences trompeuses...
Yard Fail    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 3030 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

When Ralph Swindon tinkers in his workshop, the whole world holds its breath ... A 2700-word short story. Trivia: Features the characters from Sleight of Hand.
Sleight of Hand (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 2380 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

After a cosy meal, the protagonist retires to his host's workshop for an after-dinner drink ... and becomes the unwitting subject of an experiment. Trivia: Sleight of Hand won the 2001 Aurealis Award for Horror.
Thonn Day (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 2670 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

Synopsis: Magick is banned in Thonn's world, outlawed after greedy and power-hungry wizards almost destroyed the entire planet. So imagine his surprise when he spies Eddie de Elder performing Magick spells! A 2500 word Fantasy/Comedy story
Updown (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 1740 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

Social services have come to take 10-year old Daniel away from his home and family, but his best friend Danny has other ideas ... A 1600 word Science Fiction story
Billy's Book (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 5060 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

Billy Crump is the local stable boy. Fed up with mucking out horses, he sneaks into the wizard's lab, concocts a potion using all the rare and expensive ingredients, and somehow ends up with a talking book. His first thought? Sell the book ... and say goodbye to horse muck forever! A 5000 word fantasy/comedy story
Off Course (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 1590 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

When you're on for a birdie, watch for aliens in the rough. A 1500 word SF/comedy/golf story
Escape Clause (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: Free! 1100 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.

(3.00 from 1 review)
A mistreated worker decides to take matters into his own hands.
Catch of the Day (Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 3850 words. Published on November 14, 2011. Fiction.

Ken and Steve reluctantly give up their lawnmowing duties for a weekend of fishing, booze and male bonding. Unfortunately the fish aren't biting, supplies are running low and worst of all ... the beer just ran out. Then, without warning, an alien colony ship arrives in orbit, and that's when Ken's problems REALLY start. A 4000 word short story by the author of the Hal Spacejock series.
Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch    by Simon Haynes
Price: $3.99 USD. 90900 words. Published on September 18, 2011. Fiction.

A cunning rival determined to ruin Hal's business, a trainee Peace officer facing a dangerous investigation and a planet with more bugs than a new operating system ... When Hal and Clunk set out to make a fresh start, this wasn't exactly what they had in mind.
Hal Spacejock 3: Just Desserts    by Simon Haynes
Price: $3.99 USD. 79190 words. Published on September 18, 2011. Fiction.

A mysterious sealed crate, a pair of shady mercenaries with more guns than brain cells and the amnesiac robot which may or may not be on a secret mission ... Only interstellar ignoramus Hal Spacejock and the unflappable Clunk could turn a straightforward cargo delivery into space opera with clowns.
Hal Spacejock 2: Second Course    by Simon Haynes
Price: $3.99 USD. 81420 words. Published on September 17, 2011. Fiction.

A mysterious female passenger, an inventor with a basement full of deadly weapons, and a dangerous run-down teleporter built by a long-lost alien civilisation ... these are just some of the challenges facing Hal Spacejock and his metal sidekick Clunk as they fight for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business.
Hal Spacejock: Framed (A Short Story)    by Simon Haynes
Price: Free! 8750 words. Published on August 27, 2011. Fiction.

(5.00 from 1 review)
A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn't step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one victim? Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this brand new 8000-word short story. 'Framed' slots in any time after Second Course.
Hal Spacejock    by Simon Haynes
Price: Free! 80510 words. Published on August 19, 2011. Fiction.

(4.00 from 1 review)
Hal Spacejock doesn't mind navigating to an uncharted planet, landing in a deserted field, dodging customs and loading a suspicious cargo under cover of darkness. That's a normal day's work. No, the real battle starts when the customer sends a broken-down pilot to fly Hal's beloved ship ... 80,000 words/340 pages
A Piece of the Action    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 8520 words. Published on March 4, 2011. Fiction.

(4.00 from 1 review)
Flat broke and stranded in a South American country, Ralph Gardiner is nursing a beer and contemplating the wreckage of his life. No money, no prospects, and worst of all ... the beer is warm. When a local businessman approaches him with a curious job offer, Ralph decides he has very little to lose ... 8000 Word Short Story.
The Desolator    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 5630 words. Published on March 4, 2011. Fiction.

Join Hurm, Runt and Father Mephistophiles as they struggle to save the hamlet of Yendour from a marauding dragon. Originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #6.
Loss Leader    by Simon Haynes
Price: $0.99 USD. 8600 words. Published on March 4, 2011. Fiction.

After many delays and last-minute setbacks, the first colony ship leaves planet Earth for a distant star. Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems... Originally published in Andromeda Spaceways #3

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Smashwords book reviews by Simon Haynes

  • Opening Acts on Aug. 01, 2011
    (no rating)
    Thanks for the comment - the website has been fixed.